Summertime Magic in your Super Busy Life
Summertime is in full swing and I am admittedly having difficulty sticking to a schedule or focusing on doing work. Although I enjoy my work immensely, I am so distracted by the kids being home and their seemingly carefree attitudes. And, perhaps my childhood memories of long summer days spent at the community swimming pool, traveling with my brothers and parents on family vacations, going to the beach and amusement parks, and playing outside with my cousins all day long at the playground just down the hill, have forever been etched into my memory and triggered my urge to slow down the pace and enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Or, perhaps a successful business year and the belief that I will have more opportunities for speaking and coaching in the fall so I don’t have to push so hard this summer….I can trust that the opportunities will be there when I am ready for them.
So, I’ve cut back my client appointment hours and work my unscheduled time when I have the urge to. Like right now, it’s too hot to be outside and I’m too exhausted to go anywhere because we’ve spent the last few days running around to the amusement park, water park, the beach, and visiting friends. I’m going with the summertime flow and I hope that you and your children might have the opportunity to do some of the same. I know it’s hard to slow down your super busy life with a busy work schedule, deadlines, and other responsibilities tugging for your time and attention, but too soon, summer will be over, fall will arrive, and the back-to-school activities will take priority. Summertime magic will be over before you know it, if you’re not careful to enjoy the time while it’s here!
According to Patti Teel, author of “The Floppy Sleep Game Book” who is dubbed The Dream Maker by People magazine, “…unexpected, delightful events are part of the fun and wonder of the summer. But if our children’s days are overscheduled, they are likely to miss these unexpected delights and so will we, as we frenetically drive from one activity to the next. Even though your intentions may be good, avoid being overzealous about providing structured activities for your children. Be sure not to fill all your children’s time with lessons, summer camp, team sports, or other organized events. By eliminating the summer activities that are not particularly enjoyable or important to your child, you are likely to find the time and space to enjoy the surprises of the day as they arise. Even the smallest events can be exciting to children, and it is a wonderful gift to be able to see the world through their eyes. If you unexpectedly see a beautiful butterfly, follow it with your child. If you make a wrong turn while driving, see where it takes you. If your son or daughter wants to have a last-minute lemonade stand, go for it. Enjoy the effortless flow of summertime.”
Happy Summer!
Coach Natalie
Enjoy Your Super Busy Life
My family and I decided to celebrate Independence Day together on my brother-in-law’s boat. We slowed down and enjoyed the fun time together. Originally we had other plans but they fell through because my friend’s dad was still in the hospital and she’s been spending most of her time there ensuring he gets the best care.
So, we enjoyed a day of fishing in the Atlantic Highlands of NJ. I didn’t fish because I wanted to participate by watching and relaxing. After several hours, the kids were ahead catching fish and we had 5 keepers (in NJ fluke need to be at least 16.5 inches to be kept!). They also caught a bunch of Sea Robins, a Blue, and a plastic bag! It was lots of fun!
As the sky turned gray we decided to head in. Unfortunately, we didn’t make it when the storm hit. We were on a 16 ft. fishing boat with high winds, rain and hail, thunder and lightening. It was very scary! At times, my brother-in-law couldn’t see in front of him. We sheltered the kids the best we could and prayed. When we made it back to the dock, the kids were off the boat running….so fast I couldn’t keep up with them!
When we realized we were safe, we could reflect back on the horror and danger. We could also thank the Lord and Cherish our Life even just a bit more.
What needs to happen for you to cherish your life?
Remember life is precious and each of us has a lot to be thankful for each and every day (some days more than others!!)
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
Making Prudent Decisions in your Super Busy Life
A prospective client asked me to provide some guidelines when making a decision because there is too much information and so many choices available today for just about anything. However, when life is super busy, it’s prudent to use your time wisely.
She wanted to plant a perennial garden along her new front walkway. She needed some guidance about how to do this. She talked to a few people, some garden shops, and a farm in her area that rasies and sells native perennials. She chose to follow the advice of the native perennial folks.
It’s important to have a process that will help you determine when you have enough information to make an informed decision. Too many people, especially those who like to do things perfectly (you know who you are!!), take too much time upfront in gathering data and making the decision and rarely get into action.
One of my clients wanted to remodel part of her basement to put in a home office. She decided that 3 contractors would be sufficient. She called them, scheduled an appointment, discussed the project with each, and received a proposal. She decided on the one that met her criteria the closest and hired him for the job.
Another client wanted to hire a professional organizer. She asked me for recommendtions. She also sought out other recommendtions. She had close to 20 recommendations on her list. As she began researching them and talking with them, she got bogged down in the process and didn’t end up hiring anyone (yet!)
Often when people are seeking a coach, they’ll contact me. If they aren’t sure about what they’re looking for, I’ll recommend that they talk to about 3 others, and sometimes, I’ll even give them recommendations about who to call based on what I’m hearing from them. This helps prospects make a decision and move ahead.
Limiting your research will help you avoid thinking about something indefinitely because it will provide some parameters. You need to make a choice on a way forward and move on it. Creating a decision-making process will help you maximize your time in your super busy life!
Got a dilemna? some advice? Contact Coach Natalie!
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
Keep your Love ALIVE in your Super Busy Life
In time-starved families, romance seems to slide by the wayside. Between demands at work and the never ending to do list of items at home, there’s often little time left for connecting with your partner.
My husband leaves the house each morning at around 4:30 to commute into NYC for work. On a good night, he’s home by 6 pm each evening. The kids have some activities at night. I have some meetings, presentations, and client coaching sessions in the evening. My husband has chores and other family responsibilities. So, it’s difficult to find time to connect but we’ve managed to make some things a habit and they’ve worked pretty well for us.
My husband calls each morning when he arrives at work. It gives us an opportunity to connect and say “good morning”. We discuss anything that’s happening or needs to happen during the day and we say “I love you” when we hang up. We sometimes tease each other playfully to help us look forward to the evening ahead and to add some levity to the morning. We also connect briefly several times throughout the day through email or phone on most days.
My husband and I are best friends. We share a lot. However, we don’t share confidential information about our friends, family or colleagues but we share our feelings, concerns, dreams, and fears. He is, by far, my biggest supporter. He believes in me and I believe in him. The other night, after being married 16 years and dating over 7, I had a huge realization about how our differences compliment each other. He is very logical and analytical, strong at math, great with finances, and very strong—he comes at most things through the head. I come at most things through the heart or my gut instincts. So, when dealing with my son the other day, I realized that my son was taking some of my husbands joking comments to heart. I didn’t really say much at the time but later when we were lying in bed, I requested permission to share my opinion and observation. Knowing this could be sensitive, I wanted to demonstrate my respect for his strengths, so I did so lovingly and without accusation or offending. He heard me, took a while and thanked me for my input. Together we realized in that moment how we could compliment each other’s opposite strengths. I felt so in love with him in that moment and still the next morning.
A client of mine remarked at how she saw her husband in a totally different light when she quietly stood in the background and watched as he interfaced with the children at a baseball game. Although he wasn’t interested in sports, he volunteered to be an assistant coach for his son’s team. He knew very little about sports. He brought something very unique and inspirational to the team through his commitment, patience, leadership, and understanding. He motivated the kids in such a wonderful way. When my client saw her husband in this new and different role, she smiled from the inside and outside and fell in love with him all over again.
Too often, we look for the big moments to keep our love alive with our partners but it’s in the little moments of noticing who they are and how absolutely wonderful they are in even a small thing that makes such a big difference and helps you fall in love again.
What keeps your love alive? Email me with your stories, and if you’d like me to share, just say so. I won’t share your story and/or your name without your permission.
Warmly,
Coach Natalie
Weed out NON-ESSENTIALS in your Super Busy Life
Many of the super busy parents I meet while traveling around to speak tell me how difficult it is for them to say “no” at home and work. This is a universal problem because we fear the consequences of saying “no”. There are a number of reasons why people don’t say “no” when they want to, but the most prevalent is that thay want to be liked and to please others.
Saying “no” is a powerful way to take control over your own life. If you’re more used to people- pleasing then self-pleasing, start by making yourself a priority. You mat initially feel guilty, as manu of my clients have, but eventually, it gets easier as you develop the confidence and ability to use this skill.
There are a number of ways you can say “no”. The best advice I can offer is to keep it simple (no lengthy explanation or justification) and say it strongly (no wimpy “n’s”).
If saying “no” is something you need help with, you can contact Coach Natalie for a free consultation session or schedule a 1-2 hour presentation at your work, church, professional organization, or club so that you can give the gift of saying “no” to your friends and colleagues.
Good luck!
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
Make Room for FUN in YOUR Super Busy Life
Weekends can be an all-consuming list of to-do items that you never have the chance to get around to doing the fun activities that rejuvenate your spirit and make fond family memories.
A client of mine that I worked with a few years ago shared a tip with me that I ended up getting her permission to use in my book, Succeeding as a Super Busy Parent. Her tactic was to have a “Do Nothing” day about once a month. During this time the family faxially hung out together, played games, romped through the leaves and had quiet uninterrupted time alone. This time together was often scheduled but sometimes spontaneous when the need arose after a particularly hectic week. It became a family tradition and one of their much treasured activities during the past several years. Slowing down and having some downtime will help you and your family decompress after a super busy week.
If you’re one of the many who cringe at the thought of doing nothing, relax and start small. Perhaps, you can began with a simple pajama day when the kids don’t get dressed till noon, or better yet, stay in their jammies all day! Pop in a favorite DVD for the kids, while you and your partner slip back into bed for some quiet alone time. Or, how about jumping in the car and hitting the drive thru for breakfast then coming home and playing a game together. The possibilities are endless…the purpose is fun!
Please let me know what you and your family do for fun in your super busy lives! Email me at natalie@superbusyparent.com.
Warm regards,
Coach Natalie
More Input on Relating to Teens/Tweens in your Super Busy Life
I received this input from a super busy mom from Boston about how she and her husband manage the summer schedule for their daughters. Thought it might be useful for you….
Thanx for your article on Relating to your Tween/Teen in Your Super Busy Life. It’s such a universal parent dilemma. Now that my daughters (ages 12 and 10) are out of school for the summer, we enter the juggling of “who’s watching the kids and what are they doing.” We’re extremely fortunate that my niece, sisters and in-laws pitch in with child care. My husband and I both worth full time. I’ve asked my girls to keep a list of things they can/want to do and even with whom they’d like to do the activity. Hopefully, my girls won’t feel disappointed (or less so) that they’d like to do an activity and we’re not there to do it –knowing that when we have the time together, we’ll do it. Also, it gives them more control over what they are doing with their parents and aunts, their 20-something cousin and their 70-something grandparents. With their limited time on the computer I ask them to visit the websites for certain activities (i.e. the museum), look at what it’s about, how much time we’ll need, coupons, etc. They are conscience, too, of the different things they can enjoy (and maybe cannot do – because of physical or monetary limitations) with their different caregivers.
Judith B. Ercolini
E-mail: jercolini@comcast.net
Relating to your Tween/Teen in your Super Busy Life
Now that my son will be turning 12 in a few weeks, I am becoming much more aware of the issues and challenges parents of teens and tweens face on a regular basis. These children want so much to be treated like a grown-up and have their independence, yet they are still a child. They are very heavily influenced by their friends and society, sometimes to your own regret.
I had a coaching session with a mom who is a widow and has 12 and 15 year old children. Now that she has recently gone back to work full-time she wanted to develop more opportunities for quality time with her kids and enhance the relationships. Beings she doesn’t get home until around 7 pm on most nights during the week, this is rather difficult for her to do. She feels out-of-balance and disconnected.
We talked about the realities because some of them really can’t be changed. She does need to work for financial and other reasons. Having just gone back to work, she doesn’t have much flexibility in her hours or work schedule. However, she really wants to feel connected with her kids and be involved in fun activities with them.
In the past, they have had dinners as a family more frequently, had family meetings, game night, and other activities that seem to have disappeared. Although her son has lacrosse several nights, there is still an opportunity she recognized to have dinner together on the nights when they weren’t rushing out to lacrosse. She has committed to dinner together as a family at least 3 nights each week. Some of you may think, “three isn’t enough” while others may say, “three is impossible”, if you want to make this a priority, decide what is right for you and your family and just make a start! You can adjust along the way.
We also brainstormed activities she thought both her kids enjoy. Her daughter enjoys gardening, but hasn’t been doing it lately. This mom also enjoys gardening and would love the opportunity to spend a little while on a Saturday or Sunday morning gardening with her daughter. What she couldn’t see, the notion of spending a whole day, but spending an hour, seems reasonable and do-able. And, again, it’s a place to start!
She and both her kids enjoy bike rides and can do more of these together, as well.
Determining activities you could do together doesn’t need to be done alone. Your kids can provide their input about things they wish you would do together again, things they’d like to try out, and things they’d like to do more of. They could also help you determine when it’s appropriate to bring along a friend or two, and when it’s better to have more private family time.
I’d love to hear your ideas and solutions for enjoying time with your teen and tween. Please share your ideas for helping them with problem-solving, decision-making, responsibility, cooperation, and communication. And, tell me, what are some of the things you do together in the limited free time in your super busy life? Email me at natalie@superbusyparent.com.
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
Celebrate Your Day
In honor of Mothers Day, I searched the Web for the best ways to celebrate you and your important role as a mom. I found the best advice at
http://parenting.aol.com/parenting/onlyonaol/feature/0,22440,1184790,00.html.
They have their favorites posted at this site. It includes ways to pamper yourself from to no-guilt feel good self-nurturing to at-home spa treatments; ways to keep your sex life sizzling and enhance your relationships with your spouse, your mother, mother-in-law, and friends; makeover success stories; shopping advice; and, heartwarming stories about motherhood. Whether you’re a new mom, a veteran mom, or a mom-to-be, you deserve to celebrate yourself!
And, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to you! Enjoy your day.
Sincerely yours,
Coach Natalie
Mom Makeover
Check out the Mom Squad mom makeovers from Parenting Magazine http://www.parenting.com/parenting/article/0,19840,1154748,00.html
I’ve been the Life Coach for Parenting Magazine’s Mom Squad since it began this series early in 2005. Find out how the team of experts helps moms with real life challenges starting with the March 2005 issue.
The Mom Squad team consists of Billie Causieestko, Fashion Stylist, Sara Johnson, Makeup Artist Ellie Krieger, R.D., Nutritionist, Nikki An-Ledi, Hairstylist, Sharson Monplasir, Fitness Expert, Natalie Gahrmann, Life Coach, Jarnine Sarna-Jones, Organizer.
