Keep your Love ALIVE in your Super Busy Life

In time-starved families, romance seems to slide by the wayside. Between demands at work and the never ending to do list of items at home, there’s often little time left for connecting with your partner.

My husband leaves the house each morning at around 4:30 to commute into NYC for work. On a good night, he’s home by 6 pm each evening. The kids have some activities at night. I have some meetings, presentations, and client coaching sessions in the evening. My husband has chores and other family responsibilities. So, it’s difficult to find time to connect but we’ve managed to make some things a habit and they’ve worked pretty well for us.

My husband calls each morning when he arrives at work. It gives us an opportunity to connect and say “good morning”. We discuss anything that’s happening or needs to happen during the day and we say “I love you” when we hang up. We sometimes tease each other playfully to help us look forward to the evening ahead and to add some levity to the morning. We also connect briefly several times throughout the day through email or phone on most days.

My husband and I are best friends. We share a lot. However, we don’t share confidential information about our friends, family or colleagues but we share our feelings, concerns, dreams, and fears. He is, by far, my biggest supporter. He believes in me and I believe in him. The other night, after being married 16 years and dating over 7, I had a huge realization about how our differences compliment each other. He is very logical and analytical, strong at math, great with finances, and very strong—he comes at most things through the head. I come at most things through the heart or my gut instincts. So, when dealing with my son the other day, I realized that my son was taking some of my husbands joking comments to heart. I didn’t really say much at the time but later when we were lying in bed, I requested permission to share my opinion and observation. Knowing this could be sensitive, I wanted to demonstrate my respect for his strengths, so I did so lovingly and without accusation or offending. He heard me, took a while and thanked me for my input. Together we realized in that moment how we could compliment each other’s opposite strengths. I felt so in love with him in that moment and still the next morning.

A client of mine remarked at how she saw her husband in a totally different light when she quietly stood in the background and watched as he interfaced with the children at a baseball game. Although he wasn’t interested in sports, he volunteered to be an assistant coach for his son’s team. He knew very little about sports. He brought something very unique and inspirational to the team through his commitment, patience, leadership, and understanding. He motivated the kids in such a wonderful way. When my client saw her husband in this new and different role, she smiled from the inside and outside and fell in love with him all over again.

Too often, we look for the big moments to keep our love alive with our partners but it’s in the little moments of noticing who they are and how absolutely wonderful they are in even a small thing that makes such a big difference and helps you fall in love again.

What keeps your love alive? Email me with your stories, and if you’d like me to share, just say so. I won’t share your story and/or your name without your permission.

Warmly,

Coach Natalie