Help your Kids Prepare
Remember the 5 P’s: Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.
Talk about routine shifts from summer to school year: Bedtime, curfew and the like, but get beyond this, too as you prepare for the new school year.
Get your children to feel a bigger sense of responsibility for completing their homework and keeping track of assignments by taking things one step at a time. Be realistic in your expectations. If your child spent all summer losing their swim goggles, don’t expect them to be able to keep track of all their books, their sweatshirt, and their school supplies! Improve the odds of better responsibility by growing the skills from the inside, which means, unfortunately, that you often don’t necessarily see results right away. They develop the roots of responsibility long before the behaviors are evident on the outside.
Set clear expectations and hold your children to these expectations. Be interested in their work, the assignments, and what’s difficult and easy about them. Your interest helps.
When they complete homework make sure you acknowledge it, but not just with an “I’m proud of you.” Your feedback has to point to the internal growth of responsibility, so “How do you feel?” or “You must feel good about that” are better comments.
Be preparing your kids and shifting responsibility to them you have less stress in your super busy life!
Try it and see how it works for you….but remember to be patient!
Yours,
Coach Natalie
Partner with the School
Even though life might feel too busy, get to know your child’s teacher(s), principal and other school personnel. Although you may not be available during the school day for regular activities, look for opportunities to participate in the hours you can. For instance, you can bring a dish to the annual pot luck dinner, attend PTA meetings, visit the school with your child prior to the start of the year, help with photocopying, etc. If they have a website, log on often to see what’s going on. Be aware of school regulations and help your child abide by them. Also, be sure to read school notices regularly.
Yours,
Coach Natalie
Stay Involved with School-Aged Kids
Even though you are super busy at work and home, it’s vital that you are involved with your children’s education. The younger your children, the more parental involvement is necessary! However, even when you have teens in high school, it’s still important to be involved because parental involvement makes a positive difference (even though your children may not readily share that with you!).
Your kids start the school year with a clean slate and a new teacher. It’s a great opportunity for a fresh start.
If you demonstrate how you value education it is more important than if you just talk about it. So, model the importance and help get your children off to a good start this new school year.
With older kids, seek their input about your role in their education for this school year. It might take awhile for the response to unfold, but when it does, you’ll have some interesting conversations.
With younger kids, plan on spending time at the school during the first few weeks to get to know the teachers and other parents.
Finally, stay involved, but don’t try to run the show, either. Just stay involved and aware of what’s going on.
Stay tuned for more back-to-school tips in this BLOG!
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
Cherish Your Parents in your Super Busy Life
Last night at my daughter’s gymnastics class I overheard two moms talking about their annoying mothers. They complained about how often they called and how they were such a pain in the butt. They said that they really didn’t have time for such nonsense in their super busy lives.
A third mom came over and joined the conversation. As she listened her face changed suddenly. She looked the other two moms directly in the eyes and shared how she recently lost her mom. She regretted similar complaints and only now wished she’d have the opportunity to hear her mom’s voice even just one more time. She wished she’d appreciate her mom more when she were alive. She wished she’d taken more time out of her super busy life to visit more often or to at least listen more deeply when her mom called.
It’s so easy to complain about those pesky relatives when they’re alive and vying for our time and attention. What can you do today so that you have no regrets tomorrow?
Just think about it and do what feels right for you!
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
A Waste of Time in your Super Busy Life!
Ok, it’s time for me to vent about an all too familiar problem faced by many super busy parents. That problem is poor customer service. Who has time to chase after people; sit around for people who don’t show-up as scheduled; and, fix other people’s careless errors (you know what I mean….wrong codes used to process an insurance claim that is therefore denied and other human errors)?
All this infuriates me and totally wastes my time. I know I’m not alone, because most of my clients bring this up at one time or another and parents I speak to casually usually complain about missed time at work because someone didn’t show up or they didn’t do the job right the first time, thus causing a second and sometimes a third trip out.
I had a friend last night that told me about a situation when a repairman came to his house and didn’t fix something right the first time because he didn’t have the right tools with him. When my friend complained, the company said they’d send someone out again the next day between 9-5. He refused! He told them that he wasn’t going to take off another day of work to sit around and wait because of their screw up. Then, he told them that they would have to have someone out between 5-8 pm the next evening. After some back and forth, they agreed to his terms. Afterall, it really was there screw up!
Over the last three days I’ve left a message every day requesting a call back with two different companies for totally different reasons. I’ve requested another company to confirm receipt of a fax they requested me to send. I haven’t received any response from any of these companies. This is a sign of poor customer service! In my business I make a point of responding within 2 business days to phone, fax and email messages. This must be very unique because I’ve received many projects simply because I was the one to respond in a timely and respectful fashion.
I wonder how often we succumb to this poor customer service and inconvenience. We don’t have time to waste in our super busy lives! Honor your time and other’s time! Time is a valuable asset!
Best regards,
Coach Natalie
Cut Back
Those of you who have children and work part-time or full-time may have experienced a negative reaction to my last post about the magical summertime because it’s not practical or reasonable for you. Well, I understand! Afterall, I’ve been a super busy parent for most of my parenting life and I know how challenging it can be!
Being realistic about how much you can really do each weekend will help you gain more joy about what you plan for yourself and your family. Cutting back on some of your family’s extracurricular activities can help you create a more relaxed atmosphere. For example, arranging 3 or 4 outings over the course of a weekend may leave everyone cranky and exhausted, but plan just 1 and you might really be able to enjoy that more! Planning too much in the evening and on the weekends, cramming too much into family vacations, may leave everyone feeling rushed and frantic.
So, if at all possible, leave some unscheduled and unstructured time this summer so that you can take advantage of what occurs spontaneously. Leave some time to Each your children to do whatever they want—even if it appears that they are choosing to do nothing at all. It’s not really wasted time, although it may certainly appear that way! Children will be more resourceful, self-sufficient and independent if they have more opportunities to do so.
My 2 children have done so much more together when I forced them to turn off all screens in the house (the TV, computer, laptop, Playstation, and Nintendo DS). They played with the sprinkler, made some beautiful pictures, played some board games, and begged me to let them set-up a lemonade stand (although we live at the end of a super quiet culdesac!). They get so much more creative with how to spend their time when they need to entertain themselves.
Striking a balance between their unstructured time and planned activities may help everyone in the family be happier and more content. Time to relax, talk, read, have a catch, or go for a walk together is important, too! Take some quiet moments to reminisce about the simple summertime activities that brought you pleasure when you were a child. And, perhaps they can become family traditions that you share with your own children and one day, with your grandchildren.
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
Summertime Magic in your Super Busy Life
Summertime is in full swing and I am admittedly having difficulty sticking to a schedule or focusing on doing work. Although I enjoy my work immensely, I am so distracted by the kids being home and their seemingly carefree attitudes. And, perhaps my childhood memories of long summer days spent at the community swimming pool, traveling with my brothers and parents on family vacations, going to the beach and amusement parks, and playing outside with my cousins all day long at the playground just down the hill, have forever been etched into my memory and triggered my urge to slow down the pace and enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Or, perhaps a successful business year and the belief that I will have more opportunities for speaking and coaching in the fall so I don’t have to push so hard this summer….I can trust that the opportunities will be there when I am ready for them.
So, I’ve cut back my client appointment hours and work my unscheduled time when I have the urge to. Like right now, it’s too hot to be outside and I’m too exhausted to go anywhere because we’ve spent the last few days running around to the amusement park, water park, the beach, and visiting friends. I’m going with the summertime flow and I hope that you and your children might have the opportunity to do some of the same. I know it’s hard to slow down your super busy life with a busy work schedule, deadlines, and other responsibilities tugging for your time and attention, but too soon, summer will be over, fall will arrive, and the back-to-school activities will take priority. Summertime magic will be over before you know it, if you’re not careful to enjoy the time while it’s here!
According to Patti Teel, author of “The Floppy Sleep Game Book” who is dubbed The Dream Maker by People magazine, “…unexpected, delightful events are part of the fun and wonder of the summer. But if our children’s days are overscheduled, they are likely to miss these unexpected delights and so will we, as we frenetically drive from one activity to the next. Even though your intentions may be good, avoid being overzealous about providing structured activities for your children. Be sure not to fill all your children’s time with lessons, summer camp, team sports, or other organized events. By eliminating the summer activities that are not particularly enjoyable or important to your child, you are likely to find the time and space to enjoy the surprises of the day as they arise. Even the smallest events can be exciting to children, and it is a wonderful gift to be able to see the world through their eyes. If you unexpectedly see a beautiful butterfly, follow it with your child. If you make a wrong turn while driving, see where it takes you. If your son or daughter wants to have a last-minute lemonade stand, go for it. Enjoy the effortless flow of summertime.”
Happy Summer!
Coach Natalie
Enjoy Your Super Busy Life
My family and I decided to celebrate Independence Day together on my brother-in-law’s boat. We slowed down and enjoyed the fun time together. Originally we had other plans but they fell through because my friend’s dad was still in the hospital and she’s been spending most of her time there ensuring he gets the best care.
So, we enjoyed a day of fishing in the Atlantic Highlands of NJ. I didn’t fish because I wanted to participate by watching and relaxing. After several hours, the kids were ahead catching fish and we had 5 keepers (in NJ fluke need to be at least 16.5 inches to be kept!). They also caught a bunch of Sea Robins, a Blue, and a plastic bag! It was lots of fun!
As the sky turned gray we decided to head in. Unfortunately, we didn’t make it when the storm hit. We were on a 16 ft. fishing boat with high winds, rain and hail, thunder and lightening. It was very scary! At times, my brother-in-law couldn’t see in front of him. We sheltered the kids the best we could and prayed. When we made it back to the dock, the kids were off the boat running….so fast I couldn’t keep up with them!
When we realized we were safe, we could reflect back on the horror and danger. We could also thank the Lord and Cherish our Life even just a bit more.
What needs to happen for you to cherish your life?
Remember life is precious and each of us has a lot to be thankful for each and every day (some days more than others!!)
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
Making Prudent Decisions in your Super Busy Life
A prospective client asked me to provide some guidelines when making a decision because there is too much information and so many choices available today for just about anything. However, when life is super busy, it’s prudent to use your time wisely.
She wanted to plant a perennial garden along her new front walkway. She needed some guidance about how to do this. She talked to a few people, some garden shops, and a farm in her area that rasies and sells native perennials. She chose to follow the advice of the native perennial folks.
It’s important to have a process that will help you determine when you have enough information to make an informed decision. Too many people, especially those who like to do things perfectly (you know who you are!!), take too much time upfront in gathering data and making the decision and rarely get into action.
One of my clients wanted to remodel part of her basement to put in a home office. She decided that 3 contractors would be sufficient. She called them, scheduled an appointment, discussed the project with each, and received a proposal. She decided on the one that met her criteria the closest and hired him for the job.
Another client wanted to hire a professional organizer. She asked me for recommendtions. She also sought out other recommendtions. She had close to 20 recommendations on her list. As she began researching them and talking with them, she got bogged down in the process and didn’t end up hiring anyone (yet!)
Often when people are seeking a coach, they’ll contact me. If they aren’t sure about what they’re looking for, I’ll recommend that they talk to about 3 others, and sometimes, I’ll even give them recommendations about who to call based on what I’m hearing from them. This helps prospects make a decision and move ahead.
Limiting your research will help you avoid thinking about something indefinitely because it will provide some parameters. You need to make a choice on a way forward and move on it. Creating a decision-making process will help you maximize your time in your super busy life!
Got a dilemna? some advice? Contact Coach Natalie!
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
Keep your Love ALIVE in your Super Busy Life
In time-starved families, romance seems to slide by the wayside. Between demands at work and the never ending to do list of items at home, there’s often little time left for connecting with your partner.
My husband leaves the house each morning at around 4:30 to commute into NYC for work. On a good night, he’s home by 6 pm each evening. The kids have some activities at night. I have some meetings, presentations, and client coaching sessions in the evening. My husband has chores and other family responsibilities. So, it’s difficult to find time to connect but we’ve managed to make some things a habit and they’ve worked pretty well for us.
My husband calls each morning when he arrives at work. It gives us an opportunity to connect and say “good morning”. We discuss anything that’s happening or needs to happen during the day and we say “I love you” when we hang up. We sometimes tease each other playfully to help us look forward to the evening ahead and to add some levity to the morning. We also connect briefly several times throughout the day through email or phone on most days.
My husband and I are best friends. We share a lot. However, we don’t share confidential information about our friends, family or colleagues but we share our feelings, concerns, dreams, and fears. He is, by far, my biggest supporter. He believes in me and I believe in him. The other night, after being married 16 years and dating over 7, I had a huge realization about how our differences compliment each other. He is very logical and analytical, strong at math, great with finances, and very strong—he comes at most things through the head. I come at most things through the heart or my gut instincts. So, when dealing with my son the other day, I realized that my son was taking some of my husbands joking comments to heart. I didn’t really say much at the time but later when we were lying in bed, I requested permission to share my opinion and observation. Knowing this could be sensitive, I wanted to demonstrate my respect for his strengths, so I did so lovingly and without accusation or offending. He heard me, took a while and thanked me for my input. Together we realized in that moment how we could compliment each other’s opposite strengths. I felt so in love with him in that moment and still the next morning.
A client of mine remarked at how she saw her husband in a totally different light when she quietly stood in the background and watched as he interfaced with the children at a baseball game. Although he wasn’t interested in sports, he volunteered to be an assistant coach for his son’s team. He knew very little about sports. He brought something very unique and inspirational to the team through his commitment, patience, leadership, and understanding. He motivated the kids in such a wonderful way. When my client saw her husband in this new and different role, she smiled from the inside and outside and fell in love with him all over again.
Too often, we look for the big moments to keep our love alive with our partners but it’s in the little moments of noticing who they are and how absolutely wonderful they are in even a small thing that makes such a big difference and helps you fall in love again.
What keeps your love alive? Email me with your stories, and if you’d like me to share, just say so. I won’t share your story and/or your name without your permission.
Warmly,
Coach Natalie
