Reclaiming Energy
I’ve mentioned the other two things you can do to create more life balance in my past BLOGs. I wrote about gaining self awareness and making choices based on knowing who you are and what you want. This third thing is just as simple. It doesn’t require you to trek off into a distant land, search for some big guru somewhere, or take any more time out of your already Super Busy life!
The more you become aware and the more you make choices based on your awareness of your self, the more energy and power you naturally create and experience in your life. It’s that simple!
You can reclaim your energy when you start making decisions based on what’s really most important to you in your life. I said it was simple, but I didn’t say it was easy. Making choices often requires sacrifice or commitment. It also requires dedication to making things work.
When I left my career in the corporate world 10 years ago I made a very tough choice. I knew at that time that I really wanted to be the primary person raising my two kids. I chose to leave a job with high earnings and some potential. I chose to take a risk. My husband and I chose to simplify our life, especially our spending, so that we could make things work. It wasn’t easy. Fact is, it was very scary, especially at first when I signed the paper for my voluntary package. I didn’t have a plan, I just knew in my heart that the opportunity to leave happened for a reason and I felt compelled to make the choice to take in and see where the road would leave me.
I’m glad I made that choice back then. It created the change that energized me to use my strengths and passions to start my business. I don’t think I would have otherwise chosen to be a coach, a speaker, or a writer but I am so glad I did!
Making the right choices for you and for your life can energize you, too! Coaching can help and I’d love to be your coach to help you discover your self, make choices, and bring new energy and power into your life. Let me know when you’re ready!
Best regards,
Coach Natalie
The Power of Choice
So many people limit their choices because they feel they have none. They are stuck by “golden handcuffs” (high salary, benefits, stock options, etc.) that keep them in a position they are very unsatisfied with. I believe people always have choices but that every choice comes with consequences, both good and bad. Sometimes it’s the consequences that we fear that keep us stuck, but we do have choices!
One of my former clients, Barbara, felt slightly dissatisfied with her career opportunities at her job. At about the same time, she was getting calls from headhunters about other possibilities. She didn’t consider any of them because she had a number of years vested in her current company. As we talked about her situation, she decided that there was no harm in exploring her options. So, she spoke with a potential employer and decided to interview with them. She flew from North Carolina to Dallas to meet with the other company. She found that they were willing to offer her more money and career growth than what she had. As she reviewed the offer and evaluated it, we discussed her options and concerns. We found that although it seemed like a lucrative offer, relocating her family and starting over wasn’t something she really wanted to do….not even for the large sum of money they were offering to her.
Barbara chose to stay with her employer, but after the experience and gaining more self awareness about what was really important to her, she chose to meet with her management to propose changes in her job. They accepted her proposal and she was glad she chose to stay…even 7 years later when I touched base with her to see how she was doing!
We all have the power of choice in our own lives. When we don’t make choices, we’re not really in control of our own life.
We can choose to release what drains us and embrace what nourishes us. Realizing your life is the consequences of your choices becomes very empowering. If what you’re doing isn’t working for you, choose to change it!
Coach Natalie can help you make choices by being a sounding board and helping you explore your possiblities, brainstorming options, and empowering you to take control of your life.
Want to explore your options….take this assessment and see if you’re ready for coaching!
Here’s to you and the choices you make in your life!!
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
Defining “Having it all”
Ok, I posted a message about “having it all’ and it prompted a question, what does that really mean?
Having it all may mean different things to different people. If you want to “have it all”, begin by defining what that really means to you and not what you think it should mean. Once you know what you want, you can take steps to consciously create it by adapting, adjusting and recalibrating similarly to what I’ve done in my life and helped many of my clients do, too.
I feel I have everything I want in my life–not in equal quantities but in satisfactory levels. This helps me live a rewarding and balanced life. I have meaningful work through my business; warm and rich relationships with my husband, children and our families; strong friendships and professional relationships; a great home and community; regular exercise routine; a connection with God; a spiritual community; comfortable financial situation; personal growth and development opportunities and more…so much more! I have a sense that I make a difference and that’s really important to me. I know my priorities and my values and I live my life based on them.
When I suddenly begin feeling overstressed, can’t find things, get short with my loved ones, then I know it’s time to take a break and recalibrate. It’s also time to communicate more so that the people around me who love me most, can help me be at my best. When my environment tells me that something isn’t working, I listen.
For instance, when I am pushing very hard to finish a project, sometimes my high expectations and perfectionism get in the way and cause me to spend every possible minute working on it and perfecting it. I might neglect my need to eat a well balanced meal, might sacrifice sleep, or like I mentioned above, I might lose my patience easily with those around me. I might feel a tenseness in my neck, a knot in my stomach, a headache or an anxiety that doesn’t want to go away. Whereas, I used to push even harder, now I take a break. Perhaps, I might call a friend, send an email, go for a walk, or play with the dog. I might even invite the kids to do something fun with me or snuggle with my husband.
I choose the organizations I want to participate in and don’t volunteer for everything that comes my way. I was invited to be on the Board for the newest organization I joined but respectfully turned it down because I knew I had enough on my plate. Saying “no” even to those real tempting offers makes a big difference. Realize that if you say “Yes” to something, you may have to say “no” to something else because there’s only so much time in a day. When you take on too much, quality suffers and things begin slipping through the cracks, or worse, your health or relationships suffer.
If you really want to have it all, there are 3 simple things you can do:
1. Gain more awareness
2. Make more powerful choices
3. Add more energy
I’ll Blog about each one separately so I can keep these brief.
Yours,
Coach Natalie
Having it “all”
This past week I’ve been interviewed for a newspaper article, a magazine article and contacted by someone from Oprah’s office who called to ‘pick my brain’ for a show they’re preparing. Many of the questions were similar although their objectives and prospective audiences were different.
What this says to me is that people are interested in finding out how I’ve created my own life balance and if it’s possible to really “have it all”. I feel that I do have it all. Through trial and error, listening to my body and my environment, and giving my decisions in my life thought, adjustments, and recalibrating when necessary, I’ve been able to create a dynamic life balance. My clients and research have also been instrumental in helping me maintain a balanced life and a positive perspective.
My clients come to me for help minimizing stress, managing their time, building skills and confidence, strengthening relationships, setting goals and achieving them. These issues are often symptoms of an unbalanced life. As my clients work with me they get more clarity and are better able to make decisions in their life to help them “have it all”, too. Clients who create a more balanced life also create more personal and professional effectiveness, productivity and efficiency
Want more balance in your life….call Coach Natalie for a complimentary coaching session to explore if coaching can help you get it.
To you…with balance and success!
Yours,
Coach Natalie
Life Balance
Work-life balance has become the forefront issue confronting family and Corporate America, and the issues appear in other nations across the globe, as well.
Balance is about “consciously creating a life that reflects your personal values”.
People react to the idea of life balance. I find that people either get pensive and envious of the idea of a balanced life or they become argumentative and insist that they “have to live this way…they don’t have a choice”! Clearly there’s something important about balance or it wouldn’t be such an emotional trigger and so often sought after.
In thinking about balance, I realized that the majority of my clients come to me to create more balance in their lives, whether they’re a parent or not. Actually, they really come to me for a variety of reasons, including career advancement, time management, stress reduction, goal achievement, motivation, skill development, relationship building, etc. However, these issues are often symptoms of an unbalanced life, not the problem or gap itself. As people begin work with me and to better balance their lives, they become more effective at work and at home and these symptoms begin to fade away. Alternatively, as they become more effective, they begin to create more balance, which makes them even more productive and efficient, so it is a bit of the chicken or the egg.
Balance is a very foundational product of and catalyst for personal and professional effectiveness.
When we think of balance, we often think of it as “work-life balance”, but it’s probably more accurate to think of it as “life balance”. After all, while work is a time consuming part of your life, there are other parts as well: spouse/romance, family, personal growth, fun, spirituality, friends, fitness, finances, etc. “Work is only part of your life, it’s not YOU—it is just one thing you do.” When you live life the other way around, your life suffers, including your relationships, self-care, leisure pursuits, and personal growth. Live as though work is part of your life not as if your life is part of your work! Do you get what I mean???
The bottom line…Life balance is important for everyone, especially Super Busy Parents! It can be challenging to achieve life balance because it requires your attention, adjustment and recalibration due to the dynamic nature of life. But, balance is a process not an accomplishment!
Wishing you a new year with lots of success and balance!
Best regards,
Coach Natalie
P.S. Be sure to visit my website for some more tips and articles about life balance!
Last Minute
Well, Hanukkah is already here and Christmas is less than a week away. This is the final push to get everything done.
We celebrated Hanukkah with my family this past weekend. I had 20+ people over Sunday morning for breakfast at 9 am. Afterwards, I rushed off to bring my daughter to her final performance of “Miracle on 34th Street” at the community theatre. This was followed by a cast photo and cast party. I got home around 6:30 pm. It was a super busy day!
So, in reflecting back over the holiday I’ve created this year, I believe I jumped right into the frenzy with everyone else. I was initially peaceful and calm. I was keeping everything in perspective and focusing on our traditions and highest priorities. But somehow I got sucked into it. Society in general seems to push us to be over-achievers. When I was relaxed people responded quite negatively about how I must be missing something or that my life wasn’t busy enough.
So, here we are, less than a week to go. I have nearly all my presents bought & wrapped, (some are carefully tucked under the tree while others are hidden deeply) house cleaned and decorated, cards mailed out, and festivities planned and it feels good to be in the spirit and beyond the craziness. So, I’m picking up my kids after school and heading to the mall for the first round of exchanges.
Pacing things out, focusing on priorities, not succumbing to guilt or pressure, and singing holiday songs is my secret to having a happy holiday. I’d love to hear yours!
Happy Holidays!
Yours,
Coach Natalie
Effective Ways to Lessen Holiday Stress
Holidays are typically one of the most stressful times of the year for most people. Although it is a joyous and happy and spiritually-based day or time period for many, it is often comprised of frantic activities, shopping and feasting marathons, as well as, an increase in both stress and illness levels. For super busy parent, the holiday time is usually an increasingly busy time. The following tips can help diminish the stress and avert accompanying low energy levels that may lead to greater susceptibility to illness, feeling blue, fatigue, irritability, and generally a negative holiday experience.
1. Determine Your Priorities.
Manage your time rather than letting it manage you. Decide what your priorities are regarding holiday events such as parties, family functions, gift buying, cooking, and all other related activities. Put them in order of priority and give yourself ample time for each thing. DO NOT wait until the last minute unless absolutely necessary, or it will be hard for you to not feel pressure and stress.
2. Define Your Limits.
Learn when & how to say NO so that when you say it you mean it. You only have so many days and hours to squeeze in family, friends, business get-togethers, gift buying, food preparation, gift wrapping, traveling, packing, etc. If you have extra time and the desire to help others, fine. However, make sure you have completed or scheduled what is most important to you first. Others can cross your boundaries if you allow them. Remember that you do not have to attend every party or event you’re invited to and if you’re not feeling up to it, you may politely cancel. There is also no need to take on everything yourself, holidays are a time to enjoy, ask for help when you need it!
3. Accept Your Limitations.
For many, this is tough to do, since we often want to do all kinds of things on a holiday and don’t realize how much time and energy it will take from us in the end. Think about what you really have to do, and really want to do. Then, think about what you realistically have adequate time and energy to do. Give up unrealistic expectations. Follow those guidelines and you will perhaps do less and not see as many people, write as many holiday cards, or cook as many cookies or pies, but you will be much less stressed and enjoy the holidays considerably more. Simple concept. Put it on paper and stick to it.
4. Pace Yourself.
Prepare for events in stages. Save and re-use your recipes and shopping lists from year-to-year because traditional holiday dinners vary little. If you are going to be cooking for a large group on one or more occasions, shop early, and prepare what you can in advance, whether it is the day before or the night before. Many types of casseroles, baked goods and snacks can be made 1-2 days prior and kept fresh in a freezer or refrigerator in sealed containers or their own cooking dish. If you have 100 cards to be addressed and mailed, block off 15-30 minutes every day to work on them starting 2-3 weeks before they need to be mailed. Or, better yet, create a mailing list with labels you use annually. Look for possible gift ideas throughout the year, purchase items on sale and put them away until the holiday comes! This alone can save much time (and money)! Also, you avoid the holiday crowds in the stores and malls. Accomplishing a few tasks at a time rather than doing it all at once can cut your stress level by a large amount. Stay organized and focused!
5. Use Your Computer To Shop And Send Greetings.
Take advantage of the technology sitting on your desk if you have a computer and you are online. One way to save time and energy is to do some of your shopping for gifts online! Most of the major gift and department stores have a web site, and most also have their catalog or many items in many categories online (with photos often) from which to choose. You can use credit cards using a secure server to protect your card number, or in many cases, you can pay by check, phone order or fax. Just about everything from CD’s and videos to toys, jewelry, clothing, computers and computer accessories, and personal items, are available to order online. Use any of the major search engines to find the store address if you do not know it. Virtual malls are also available through multiple sources. Additionally, you can use your computer to send virtual holiday cards, pictures, holiday newsletters, etc. to friends, business associates, and family online.
6. Help Others/Volunteer.
This is especially good for the person who lives alone or is all alone as far as family and friends. There are many opportunities for you to create your own sense of “community” by being with people who are also alone and in most instances, far worse off than you physically and financially and perhaps emotionally, as well. You can volunteer your time to work at a food bank or soup kitchen where a holiday dinner is served and prepared; go to a local church or shelter to help feed the homeless and the poor; whatever, just be creative and look for opportunities you can contribute. The more you give, the more you will get back in blessings and good feelings yourself. It may not happen the same day or all at once, but it will happen. When you see that the best gift you can give is yourself, your spirits will rise and be reinforced with a warmth and strength which is better and longer lasting than any gift or holiday party.
7. Practice Patience & Good Deeds,
Keep repeating to yourself when feeling rushed “I have plenty of time.” Hurrying is a struggle against time—that’s unhealthy. Adopt a more relaxed attitude. Let others in front of you in line (especially when they seem distressed), hold the door open for the person exiting with a handful of packages, give up the parking space, drop off something thoughtful to someone special to you just to show your appreciation & thankfulness, find the acts of kindness that make you feel good and do them repeatedly.
8. Sing, Hum, etc. (it doesn’t have to be out loud)
Experience the joys of the holiday season by hearing the music. Let the music help ease your tensions. Some suggestions: ‘Tis the season to be jolly (perfect if you’ve lost your sense of humor); Dashing through the Snow (helps you remember that although not everybody can dash through the snow, movement is absolutely essential to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being); Making a list, checking it twice (Don’t expect your already overloaded mind to remember any more than your way home and the names of your immediate family members); you get the picture!
9. Exercise!!
Yes, that is right, even before the New Year’s resolutions! Having to park three miles away from any place peopled with shoppers gives you an excellent opportunity to squeeze in a little aerobic activity. Carrying your purchases back to that same location might be considered strength training. It’s amazing how many ways you can work in a workout. However, do more than the credit card wrist twist; the lugging of packages; the raising your arm to mouth and opening wide—do real cardiovascular exercises at least 3 times per week for 20 minutes or more. You’ll be amazed at all the extra energy you create!
10. Avoid Or Be Very Moderate With Alcohol, Sugary Foods, Caffeine
Most holiday gatherings include the sharing or offering of alcoholic beverages, coffee and cakes, cookies, etc. Since many people use alcohol, caffeine and sweets as a way to combat stress and even depression, it is wise to limit your intake if you wish to limit your stress. These items are only a temporary stress reducer. Keep in mind, the best stress reducers are laughter, listening to and/or singing music, helping others, being loved and sharing love, and for many, association with their church or faith through private or public ceremonies and events.
11. If Possible, Spend Holidays with Others (family, friends, neighbors, work colleagues, etc.).
The holiday season is a dreadful and lonely time for many. Spending the time alone will tend to add to the feelings of isolation and depression. If you have friends, relatives, etc. see if you can join them for a part of it. Whatever you can do to get the focus away from yourself and the past the better off you will be. While it is acceptable and healthy to remember events or lost loved ones on holidays, it need not be either a negative or the entire focus of the holiday for you.
12. And, most importantly…..Take Time for Yourself.
Unless your career responsibilities demand you return to work the day after a major holiday, take an extra day or two off to recoup your physical and emotional strength. Joyous times are every bit as stressful and draining as sad or unpleasant events. If you work for yourself and plan ahead to do it, take a day before and 2-3 days after a major holiday to catch up on sleep, clean up your house, and travel in a relaxed time frame.
We at N-R-G Coaching Associates wish you a wonderful holiday with Joy, Peace, Balance and Success in 2007!
Sincerely,
Coach Natalie
Unwrap Holiday Stress in Your Super Busy life
You know how committed I am to your leadership growth and expansion. It
brings me immense joy to bring you great information and talented people that can stimulate your thinking and creativity.
This time of year, as our thoughts turn to the holidays, it’s easy to get
distracted. One of the major distractions, for many folks, can be tension
and anxiety about their upcoming holiday get-together with family.
If you, or someone you know, is feeling stressed out about a family
get-together this holiday season, let me point you to a helpful resource
that can help you create inner peace and calm for this holiday’s
get-together.
It’s a 10-step e-book called: “Holiday Stress Unwrapped: Countdown to
Holiday Calm; How to Find & Live Your Own Personal Peace,” by the Dalai Momma. As background, my coaching colleague, Penni Wild, is the creator of the Dalai Momma and founder of Real Life Magic. You can click on her picture at the site to learn more about her.
Imagine if you could have more joy this holiday season for the price of a
good bottle of wine or a couple of grande lattes at your favorite coffee
shop?! How much more relaxed would you be if you had less stress, less
tension, less anxiety going into the holidays?
Get your practical, easy-to-do personal peace steps today. Learn more by
clicking this link: http://www.dalaimomma.com/?id=19 or visit
www.dalaimomma.com
Create a stress-free holiday season!!
Yours truly,
P.S. Be sure to let Penni know that you heard about her book through me!
Incredibly Super Busy
This month I’ve taken on many more commitments than usual. With it being the holiday season and my daughter acting in her first play, I sometimes wonder why I’ve taken on so much.
Like many people, I enjoy being wanted and needed. I like feeling important. Although this may be difficult to admit, it’s in fact very common. We often take on more than perhaps we should because of the primary need of being accepted. Being a coach and knowing how quickly things can spiral when we take on too much, I’ve learned to pace myself and to stay focused on the present. With many in my family worrying about holiday parties that are still weeks away, my aunt’s surprise 95th birthday out in Long Island, and tending to all the holiday decorations, I’ve taken a much different approach….and I find it’s working!
I have 8 speaking presentations planned for December and a really big one scheduled in Las Vegas in January. All different topics, of course! I’m also working on a free 7 week e-course that will be announced soon. But in order to offer the course, I needed to select a shopping cart solution that met my needs. This took some time, research, and advising. When I finally selected the WAHM-Cart solution (I’ll keep you posted about this one because if I like it, I’ll set-up an affiliate program with them!), I realized that I’m right in the heart of my busiest period and really don’t have time to set it up (I’ve lost some of my technical astuteness when I left the Corporate world and no longer had the latest technology with all the bells and whistles available at my fingertips.) So, I tapped into my virtual assistant (well, he’s actually my web designer, and a great all around helper, Adam Hommey at Assess Communicate) to bail me out and keep things going even though I’m spending time somewhere else.
I’ve also decided to eliminate my annual holiday newsletter, have delegated the decorating to my husband and kids, have arranged for help from my mother-in-law, and have given up wasting time worrying about things and instead use the time to plan and prevent. What I’ve learned is that it’s ok to refocus and reprioritize, even if it’s just for this one year. We could revisit traditions next year and decide which ones we want to continue or replace. I’ve also learned to trust that everything will work out exactly how it’s supposed to. I get to where I need to go on time…miraculously, the lights are all green and traffic opens up when I need it (well, most of the time but definitely not always!). My copies are ready on time. Meals are prepared. And, everyone, including me gets to where they have to go. My family has become a team this holiday season with everyone taking on different roles and tasks and everything important getting done!
Hope this helps you re-think your holidays and busy times!
Warm regards,
Create Healthy Habits
Habits are nothing more than thoughts you keep thinking or the words you use to speak about them. If you have habits that are no longer working for you, the first step is to identify the thoughts you have around that particular habit. Be aware of how that thought feels to you and then replace it with thoughts that feel better. If you’re not sure if your habits are working for you, look at how they make you feel physically, emotionally, mentally, and/or spiritually because that will help provide some indication.
In an e-course I received about this topic from my colleague, Eva Gregory (Leading EdgeCoaching.com), Wake Up to the Dream, an example she provided was, rather than holding a thought that you really ‘need to give up sugar’ or you really ‘want to give up sugar’, change your thoughts from those that sound obligatory or wishful to one of decision. ‘I have decided to give up sugar’. Can you feel the difference in those statements? ‘Needing’ or ‘wanting’ sounds wishy washy. ‘Deciding’ is much more powerful and grounded. Now take it a step further. Change the focus from what you don’t want – in this case, sugar – to what you DO want in its place… healthier eating habits, for example. So reach for another thought. For instance, “I have decided to eat healthily now” or “I am eating healthily now” or “I have decided to have healthy eating habits now.” Then ‘act as if’. Pretend you are now eating only healthy foods and loving your new eating habits and how you are feeling. How DOES it feel? Visualize what that’s like for 30 seconds. Now let it go. Everytime you think of sugar or reach for something sweet, go back to your new thought, “I have decided to eat healthily now.” Then notice what you are inspired to do in that moment. It may be to eat the sweets anyway; it may be to eat only a bite; it may be to bypass it altogether. The important thing is to NOT beat yourself up about it if you do choose to eat it. If you’re going to eat it, ENJOY IT!!! Then come back to the new habit of thought you are creating, “I have decided to eat healthily now”. Spend another 30 seconds visualizing how it FEELS to be eating healthily and let it go. Keep repeating this process, being gentle with yourself in the moments you eat less than healthily, acknowledging the times when you ARE eating more healthily, and over time you will gradually change your habit for good!
According to Eva, this process works for changing both physical habits and emotional habits. Changing your eating habits is a physical change you make in what you are eating. Changing an emotional habit is a matter of commiting to a change in perspective. For example, you can change a habit of thought such as “I rarely reach my goals in the timeframe I set, therefore I’m a failure” to “I know my goals are always reached in perfect timing, no matter what.” By being willing to change your perspective, you literally shift your energy from one of resistance to one of relaxation and allowing, and in that shift you become an open vortex for your goals to be realized much more easily, and truly in perfect timing!
You can discard unhealthy habits and create more healthy habits just by taking conscious effort and being consistent. It may not be easy, but it will definitely be worth it!
Special BONUS: Send an email to natalie@superbusyparent.com to request a free report, “Habits of Highly Successful Women”..
Best regards,
Coach Natalie
