Best Companies for Super Busy Parents
I received the latest issue of Working Mother magazine this morning. I haven’t had the chance to open it but I noticed that this issue features the Top 100 best companies for working moms. Each year Working Mother magazine surveys and assesses thousands of companies using five main criteria as the basis for its judgments: flexibility, leave time for new parents, child care, elder care, and the number of women occupying top jobs. Companies like J&J and IBM have been on the list consistently each year since the annual list came out 21 years ago.
I remember how AT&T made the list every year when I was employed there. However, availability of benefits really came down to your direct management. My last manager, when I had my second child, was adamantly opposed to anything other than a full nine hour day in the office. She felt that she raised her daughter and got through it so anybody else could do it, too. This, and being offered an enhanced voluntary package, ultimately became my reasons for leaving the corporate world.
Even those who work in companies recognized for their outstanding work environment for working moms, are often faced with issues and challenges because their supervision doesn’t support work/life balance; their job doesn’t lend itself well to flexibility or alternative work arrangements; the perceptions of those around you who frown upon you leaving promptly at 5:00 pm, coming in at 9:00 am, or leaving during the day to pick up a sick child from school; or, your own unwillingness to ask for what you need. I also have clients in the opposite situation–they work for family un-friendly companies. Some have managed to negotiate for what they need to be most efficient and effective at their job. While others feel stuck in an impossible situation that causes them extreme amounts of stress.
I personally believe in taking things into my own hands, whenever possible. I’ve helped many of my clients design and communicate their requests for flexibility so that they can excel their effectiveness at work and home. It’s not impossible unless you really believe it to be so! If your company doesn’t support your needs as a super busy parent, why not look into employment at one of the Top 100 companies?!?!
I’m curious how you’d rate your employer in their ability to meet your work, life and parenting needs. Please email me at natalie@superbusyparent.com to confidentially share your personal experiences.
Thanks!
Best regards,
Coach Natalie
Caring for the Grandparents in your Super Busy life
As if your life isn’t busy enough working, caring for your children, husband and home, when your parents become ill it requires yet another balancing act. I’ve recently read about the rising statistics of the adult population requiring care for a disability, an illness, aging, and chronic conditions. So, in recognition of Grandparent’s Day, which was yesterday in the US, I’d like to share some of what was in the article I read about how to accommodate work, caregiving for your parents, and all your other responsibilities.
I apparently live in one of the counties in NJ with not only one of the fastest growing county, but also that its over-85 population is the fastest growing age segment in the state. More than 60% of the caregivers work full- or part-time. And, although it used to be primarily the role of women (daughters), there is now an increasing number of men who make up the caregiver population…in fact, it’s almost 50%!
Caregivers experience a number of stresses, including navigating the health care system, processing insurance claims, researching available community resources, juggling finances, raising a family, and meeting the physical and emotional needs of a loved one who wants to maintain his/her independence–all while simultaneously still remaining a star employee–is no easy feat.
According to this article, the impact is felt not only by caregivers and their families, but also by employers due to an increase in absenteeism, replacement, productivity loss, and more. So, employers have a vested interest in designing responsive and effective programs to support their employees. Sensitivity, flexibility, empathy, and understanding can go along way! Employees with elder care concerns could be handled similarly to those with childcare issues.
Fortunately, I am not a caregiver yet. However, my parents and in-laws are aging and are developing more health-related issues. Seeing how caregiving has affected many of my clients, friends, and neighbors, I know that it can take a toll on the caregiver themselves. Therefore, it’s really important for caregivers to take care of themselves, to stay healthy, and have some downtime for themselves so they don’t burn out or have their own health issues. So, if you are a caregiver, look towards your employer, your community, and other resources. Consider programs like adult day care, respite care or home health aides to help balance you balance your life with their needs and to provide them with some opportunities for social interaction and care.
Take care of yourself as you take care of Grandma and Grandpa!
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
Balance demands in Your Super Busy Lives
With the school year resuming and many fall activities starting back up, a question I am frequently asked by my clients is how to help children balance the demands of school and extracurricular activities.
What I’ve learned over the years is that it’s important to teach kids how to set priorities. Help them realize that they can’t do everything; at least, not all at once (and, by the way, neither can you!). This is crucial as they move up the grades: Elementary school kids can do many things, but as they get older and each activity requires more time and attention, they have to learn to prioritize. So start early: “We can go to the park and play, or we can go for a swim, but we can’t do both. You choose.” That’s the key: Get them used to making decisions.
If you see the signs of overload, such as inadequate sleep, inability to concentrate, or moodiness recognize that they may be feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. Just like adults, children, can experience these same things when their life is too hectic.
Be alert and watch for signs of stress in your kids. Do something about it as soon as possible to avoid other possible disasters from occuring!
Good luck!
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
Help Kids Organize for the School Year
Even if you’re one of those parents who think you don’t have good organization skills, fact is, just to keep things flowing on a daily basis, you have some degree of organization skills. Help your kids learn to organize, too!
Motivate your children to get organized and, more importantly, make it a habit by creating rituals at home like:
1. Put the backpack in the same place at the end of the school day.
2. Do homework in the same place and at the same time each day.
3. For younger kids, sit nearby as they work, if possible. And for all kids, make sure they have adequate supplies, from notebooks to pencils. Review their notebooks. Check their homework. Review their papers, quizzes and tests from school.
Kids, just like adults, like the feeling of being organized. Before the school year begins, ask the teachers what they think are essential organizational skills. This prepares you and enables you to get a head start.
See if this helps!
Best regards,
Coach Natalie
Help your Kids Prepare
Remember the 5 P’s: Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.
Talk about routine shifts from summer to school year: Bedtime, curfew and the like, but get beyond this, too as you prepare for the new school year.
Get your children to feel a bigger sense of responsibility for completing their homework and keeping track of assignments by taking things one step at a time. Be realistic in your expectations. If your child spent all summer losing their swim goggles, don’t expect them to be able to keep track of all their books, their sweatshirt, and their school supplies! Improve the odds of better responsibility by growing the skills from the inside, which means, unfortunately, that you often don’t necessarily see results right away. They develop the roots of responsibility long before the behaviors are evident on the outside.
Set clear expectations and hold your children to these expectations. Be interested in their work, the assignments, and what’s difficult and easy about them. Your interest helps.
When they complete homework make sure you acknowledge it, but not just with an “I’m proud of you.” Your feedback has to point to the internal growth of responsibility, so “How do you feel?” or “You must feel good about that” are better comments.
Be preparing your kids and shifting responsibility to them you have less stress in your super busy life!
Try it and see how it works for you….but remember to be patient!
Yours,
Coach Natalie
Partner with the School
Even though life might feel too busy, get to know your child’s teacher(s), principal and other school personnel. Although you may not be available during the school day for regular activities, look for opportunities to participate in the hours you can. For instance, you can bring a dish to the annual pot luck dinner, attend PTA meetings, visit the school with your child prior to the start of the year, help with photocopying, etc. If they have a website, log on often to see what’s going on. Be aware of school regulations and help your child abide by them. Also, be sure to read school notices regularly.
Yours,
Coach Natalie
Stay Involved with School-Aged Kids
Even though you are super busy at work and home, it’s vital that you are involved with your children’s education. The younger your children, the more parental involvement is necessary! However, even when you have teens in high school, it’s still important to be involved because parental involvement makes a positive difference (even though your children may not readily share that with you!).
Your kids start the school year with a clean slate and a new teacher. It’s a great opportunity for a fresh start.
If you demonstrate how you value education it is more important than if you just talk about it. So, model the importance and help get your children off to a good start this new school year.
With older kids, seek their input about your role in their education for this school year. It might take awhile for the response to unfold, but when it does, you’ll have some interesting conversations.
With younger kids, plan on spending time at the school during the first few weeks to get to know the teachers and other parents.
Finally, stay involved, but don’t try to run the show, either. Just stay involved and aware of what’s going on.
Stay tuned for more back-to-school tips in this BLOG!
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
Cherish Your Parents in your Super Busy Life
Last night at my daughter’s gymnastics class I overheard two moms talking about their annoying mothers. They complained about how often they called and how they were such a pain in the butt. They said that they really didn’t have time for such nonsense in their super busy lives.
A third mom came over and joined the conversation. As she listened her face changed suddenly. She looked the other two moms directly in the eyes and shared how she recently lost her mom. She regretted similar complaints and only now wished she’d have the opportunity to hear her mom’s voice even just one more time. She wished she’d appreciate her mom more when she were alive. She wished she’d taken more time out of her super busy life to visit more often or to at least listen more deeply when her mom called.
It’s so easy to complain about those pesky relatives when they’re alive and vying for our time and attention. What can you do today so that you have no regrets tomorrow?
Just think about it and do what feels right for you!
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
A Waste of Time in your Super Busy Life!
Ok, it’s time for me to vent about an all too familiar problem faced by many super busy parents. That problem is poor customer service. Who has time to chase after people; sit around for people who don’t show-up as scheduled; and, fix other people’s careless errors (you know what I mean….wrong codes used to process an insurance claim that is therefore denied and other human errors)?
All this infuriates me and totally wastes my time. I know I’m not alone, because most of my clients bring this up at one time or another and parents I speak to casually usually complain about missed time at work because someone didn’t show up or they didn’t do the job right the first time, thus causing a second and sometimes a third trip out.
I had a friend last night that told me about a situation when a repairman came to his house and didn’t fix something right the first time because he didn’t have the right tools with him. When my friend complained, the company said they’d send someone out again the next day between 9-5. He refused! He told them that he wasn’t going to take off another day of work to sit around and wait because of their screw up. Then, he told them that they would have to have someone out between 5-8 pm the next evening. After some back and forth, they agreed to his terms. Afterall, it really was there screw up!
Over the last three days I’ve left a message every day requesting a call back with two different companies for totally different reasons. I’ve requested another company to confirm receipt of a fax they requested me to send. I haven’t received any response from any of these companies. This is a sign of poor customer service! In my business I make a point of responding within 2 business days to phone, fax and email messages. This must be very unique because I’ve received many projects simply because I was the one to respond in a timely and respectful fashion.
I wonder how often we succumb to this poor customer service and inconvenience. We don’t have time to waste in our super busy lives! Honor your time and other’s time! Time is a valuable asset!
Best regards,
Coach Natalie
Cut Back
Those of you who have children and work part-time or full-time may have experienced a negative reaction to my last post about the magical summertime because it’s not practical or reasonable for you. Well, I understand! Afterall, I’ve been a super busy parent for most of my parenting life and I know how challenging it can be!
Being realistic about how much you can really do each weekend will help you gain more joy about what you plan for yourself and your family. Cutting back on some of your family’s extracurricular activities can help you create a more relaxed atmosphere. For example, arranging 3 or 4 outings over the course of a weekend may leave everyone cranky and exhausted, but plan just 1 and you might really be able to enjoy that more! Planning too much in the evening and on the weekends, cramming too much into family vacations, may leave everyone feeling rushed and frantic.
So, if at all possible, leave some unscheduled and unstructured time this summer so that you can take advantage of what occurs spontaneously. Leave some time to Each your children to do whatever they want—even if it appears that they are choosing to do nothing at all. It’s not really wasted time, although it may certainly appear that way! Children will be more resourceful, self-sufficient and independent if they have more opportunities to do so.
My 2 children have done so much more together when I forced them to turn off all screens in the house (the TV, computer, laptop, Playstation, and Nintendo DS). They played with the sprinkler, made some beautiful pictures, played some board games, and begged me to let them set-up a lemonade stand (although we live at the end of a super quiet culdesac!). They get so much more creative with how to spend their time when they need to entertain themselves.
Striking a balance between their unstructured time and planned activities may help everyone in the family be happier and more content. Time to relax, talk, read, have a catch, or go for a walk together is important, too! Take some quiet moments to reminisce about the simple summertime activities that brought you pleasure when you were a child. And, perhaps they can become family traditions that you share with your own children and one day, with your grandchildren.
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
