De-Stress Your Holidays
The following tips can help diminish the stress and avert accompanying low energy levels that may lead to greater susceptibility to illness, feeling blue, fatigue, irritability, and generally a negative holiday experience.
Ruthlessly plan ahead. With Thanksgiving already behind us, Hanukkah in full swing and Christmas and Kwanza just ahead, there’s less time for planning, but continue planning as much as possible. Set specific days on your calendar for activities such as baking, shopping, wrapping, and visiting friends or relatives. Also, be sure to schedule some relaxation time for yourself. The holidays will feel more manageable if you are well-rested.
Determine Your True Priorities. Manage your time rather than letting it manage you. Decide what your priorities are regarding holiday events such as parties, family functions, gift buying, cooking, and all other related activities. Put them in order of priority and give yourself ample time for each thing. DO NOT wait until the last minute unless absolutely necessary, or it will be hard for you to not feel pressure and stress.
Define Your Limits. Learn when & how to say “no” so that when you say it you mean it. You only have so many days and hours to squeeze in family, friends, business get togethers, gift buying, food preparation, gift wrapping, traveling, packing, etc. If you have extra time and the desire to help others, fine. However, make sure you have completed or scheduled what’s most important to you first. Others can cross your boundaries if you allow them. Remember that you don’t have to attend every party or event you’re invited to and if you’re not feeling up to it, you may politely cancel. There’s also no need to take on everything yourself, holidays are a time to enjoy, ask for help when you need it!
Let go of the need for Perfection. For many it is tough to accept your own limitations. Think about what you really have to do, and really want to do. Then, think about what you realistically have adequate time and energy to do. Give up unrealistic expectations. Follow those guidelines and you will perhaps do less and not see as many people, write as many holiday cards, or cook as many cookies or pies, but you will be much less stressed and enjoy the holidays considerably more. Simple concept. Put it on paper and stick to it. Cut yourself some slack!
Pace Yourself. Prepare for events in stages. Save and re-use your recipes and shopping lists from year-to-year because traditional holiday dinners vary little. If you are going to be cooking for a large group on one or more occasions, shop early, and prepare what you can in advance, whether it is the day before or the night before. Many types of casseroles, baked goods and snacks can be made 1-2 days prior and kept fresh in a freezer or refrigerator in sealed containers or their own cooking dish. If you have 100 cards to be addressed and mailed, block off 15-30 minutes every day to work on them starting 2-3 weeks before they need to be mailed. Or, better yet, create a mailing list with labels you use annually. Look for possible gift ideas throughout the year, purchase items on sale and put them away until the holiday comes! This alone can save much time (and money)! Also, you avoid the holiday crowds in the stores and malls. Accomplishing a few tasks at a time rather than doing it all at once can cut your stress level by a large amount. Stay organized and focused!
Use Your Computer To Shop And Send Greetings. Take advantage of the technology sitting on your desk or resting in the palm of your hand. One way to save time and energy is to do some of your shopping for gifts online! Most of the major gift and department stores have a web site, and most also have their catalog or many items in many categories online (with photos often) from which to choose. You can use credit cards using a secure server to protect your card number, or in many cases, you can pay by check, phone order or fax. Just about everything from CD’s and videos to toys, jewelry, clothing, computers and computer accessories, and personal items, are available to order online. Use any of the major search engines to find the store address if you don’t know it. Virtual malls are also available through multiple sources. Additionally, you can use your computer to send virtual holiday cards, pictures, holiday newsletters, etc. to friends, business associates, and family online.
Help Others/Volunteer. This is especially good for the person who lives alone or is all alone as far as family and friends. There are many opportunities for you to create your own sense of “community” by being with people who are also alone and in most instances, far worse off than you physically and financially and perhaps emotionally, as well. You can volunteer your time to work at a food bank or soup kitchen where a holiday dinner is served and prepared; go to a local church or shelter to help feed the homeless and the poor; whatever, just be creative and look for opportunities you can contribute. The more you give, the more you will get back in blessings and good feelings yourself. It may not happen the same day or all at once, but it will happen. When you see that the best gift you can give is yourself, your spirits will rise and be reinforced with a warmth and strength which is better and longer lasting than any gift or holiday party.
Practice Patience & Good Deeds. Keep repeating to yourself when feeling rushed “I have plenty of time.” Hurrying is a struggle against time—that’s unhealthy. Adopt a more relaxed attitude. Let others in front of you in line (especially when they seem distressed), hold the door open for the person exiting with a handful of packages, give up the parking space, drop off something thoughtful to someone special to you just to show your appreciation & thankfulness, find the acts of kindness that make you feel good and do them repeatedly.
Sing, Hum, etc. (it doesn’t have to be out loud). Experience the joys of the holiday season by hearing the music. Let the music help ease your tensions. Some suggestions: ‘Tis the season to be jolly (perfect if you’ve lost your sense of humor); Dashing through the Snow (helps you remember that although not everybody can dash through the snow, movement is absolutely essential to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being); Making a list, checking it twice (Don’t expect your already overloaded mind to remember any more than your way home and the names of your immediate family members); you get the picture!
Exercise!! Yes, that’s right, even before the New Year’s resolutions! Having to park three miles away from any place peopled with shoppers gives you an excellent opportunity to squeeze in a little aerobic activity. Carrying your purchases back to that same location might be considered strength training. It’s amazing how many ways you can work in a workout. However, do more than the credit card wrist twist; the lugging of packages; the raising your arm to mouth and opening wide—do real cardiovascular exercises at least 3 times per week for 20 minutes or more. You’ll be amazed at all the extra energy you create!
Avoid Or Be Very Moderate With Alcohol, Sugary Foods, Caffeine. Most holiday gatherings include the sharing or offering of alcoholic beverages, coffee and cakes, cookies, etc. Since many people use alcohol, caffeine and sweets as a way to combat stress and even depression, it is wise to limit your intake if you wish to limit your stress. These items are only a temporary stress reducer. Keep in mind, the best stress reducers are laughter, listening to and/or singing music, helping others, being loved and sharing love, and for many, association with their church or faith through private or public ceremonies and events.
Too Much On Her Plate Week: Prepare to Celebrate!
I was very surprised to see another professional specializing in helping busy women manage everything on their plate! I came across Melissa McCreery’s site quite by accident. Melissa is a psychologist and an internationally certified life coach who is passionate about providing high quality solutions to smart, busy women who are tired of struggling with food and weight.
Melissa created “Too Much on Her Plate Week” (which aptly runs the week of her birthday!) from October 19-23 so that women can learn to get stuff off their plate, both literally and figuratively.
“Too Much on Her Plate Week calls attention to the more than 150 million professional women who are either employed by a business or as an independent professional in the United States. These women are often moms too, creating limited time and a lot of plate spinning (and juggling). The pressure to get it all done contributes further to many women’s struggles with weight and food.”
In celebration of Too Much on Her Plate Week, Melissa is encouraging women to:
1. Carve out some time for yourself. The biggest mistake busy women make is not taking some time for self-care. Most often, it’s not that a professional woman can’t have it. It’s that they aren’t choosing to take it. Prioritize yourself.
2. Have a plan for eating and exercise. We tend to be great planners for the most part. Apply those skills to yourself and plan your meals and time for exercise.
3. Pay attention. Emotional eating – especially stress eating, often sneaks up on women. Pay attention to those times when you want something to eat and ask why.
I plan on calling Melissa and introducing myself! I can’t imagine how many women we can help together!!
Women’s Health & Fitness
Today is national Women’s Health & Fitness Day! It’s the largest annual health promotion event for women of all ages. This unique national program — with participation by local organizations throughout the U.S. — focuses attention on the importance of regular physical activity and health awareness for women.
More than 1,000 groups across the country will host women’s health and fitness events at senior centers, hospitals, health clubs, park and recreation districts, local health and service organizations, schools, retirement communities, houses of worship, and other community locations today and also on the last Wednesday of every September to come. An estimated 40,000 to 50,000 women are expected to participate in these local activities.
Whether or not there’s a local event, do something for your health and fitness today! If life is too busy, click over to my website for a free article Top 10 Ways to Fit Fitness into Your ‘Too’-Busy Schedule.
Any activity, including walking, exercising, a health screening, 
or even attending a health information workshop counts today! The goal of this special day is to encourage women to take control of their health: to learn the facts they need to make smart health choices, and to make time for regular physical activity. Don’t hesitate…do something now!
Set Better Boundaries
At a presentation I did this week for Novartis Consumer Products, I helped the participants recognize where their boundaries are weak or non-existent. Establishing boundaries empowers you to create more self-respect as well as respect from others.
Sometimes boundaries are hard to set with others because we want to be liked, be considered open and friendly, and we fear repercussions. However, people who fail to set and maintain boundaries in their life and work often find that it’s much harder to meet their own needs, and to prevent others from imposing their needs onto them.
Send for a free article: Establishing Boundaries that Honor You by sending an email to natalie@theprioritypro.com. Please indicate Boundaries in the subject line.
Reduce Mental Draining Stress
Chances are that if you are reading this Blog, you have too much on your plate. Your ‘to-do’ list is likely several pages long and your plate is over-flowing with activities and responsibilities, many that you didn’t even put there yourself. Often, you may feel like your mind is going to explode because you have so many things stored in it that you must remember.
When I meet with clients who are feeling this way, they tell me that they feel like they can’t get anything done even though they’re trying their best. They express feelings of inadequacy, overwhelm, stress and frustration. They feel scattered!
Although these clients usually have a to-do list, they also keep a running list of all the things they have to do in their minds. This is the primary cause of mental stress! My clients expend a lot of energy worrying about these things, even though 87% of what we worry about either never happens or is totally out of our control anyway!
Studies indicate that when we pay attention to a piece of information, it enters our short-term memory. Typically we can only hold 5-9 pieces of simple information in our short-term memory. If this information is not acted on or encoded it goes away. Therefore, to keep information available we need to get it into our working memory. Working memory is like a vehicle that transports information from short-term into long-term memory. Working memory will transport something that fits into an existing memory, much like a filing cabinet storing data.
Once you get information into your long-term memory, you’ve made progress, but then you have to get it out. Working memory files information into long-term memory. These files are not easily accessed—-we often need reminders. And it’s easier and more efficient to recognize something than to try to recall it from scratch.
The important key to reducing the stress of forgetting things or not being able to recall them is to have a system for organizing material as it comes at you and then being able to take action. Neither system will operate effectively if left in your head though. You need to get this out of your head and into easily accessible files on your computer or in a series of reminders for action in your daily management system (e.g., MS Outlook). You can reduce mental draining stress by de-cluttering your mind.
School Involvement
This week’s e-newsletter, “Success Tips for SuperBusy Parents” is about getting involved in your child’s school. My children are now in 7th and 10th grade. I find that my opportunities for involvement have changed throughout their school years.
When my children were in elementary school, I could volunteer as class parent or for special projects or field trips (which I did). After jumping in with two feet, I pulled back from some of my initial involvement because I found it draining my energy and taking valuable time away from my family. Instead, I chose to limit my involvement to those activiites where I could have direct interaction rather than behind-the-scenes support. I got to know other parents, teachers and the Principal.
As my children got older, they wanted less of me at the school. So, I volunteered to help with publicity and fundraising (as long as it didn’t pull me away from family time!). Last year, when my daughter asked me to chaperone a trip, I changed my appointments at work so that I could take advantage of this limited opportunity. It was one of the best decisions I made! Besides spending time with my daughter, I enjoyed spending time with her friends and visiting the Philadelphia Zoo. I also appreciated the opportunity to meet the other chaperones, especially a dad who is the President of a mid-level company who was there at the request of his son.
You never know what joys you’ll get from your school involvement! Choose wisely and volunteer when you can. Don’t be too busy to enjoy some of the best pleasures life has to offer! I’m already hoping my daughter requests me to chaperone the overnight trip at the end of 8th grade!!
Improve your Sex Life!
With just about everyone having too much on their plate these days, we all have Obsessive Distraction Disorder (O.D.D.). Distractions pull us away from what we say is important to us.
As I was getting dressed on Saturday morning, I caught a short segment on the CBS Early Morning show featuring Dr. Jenn Berman, a well-known Psychotherapist. The piece was about putting sex back in your marriage (something many are too distracted to do!)
Dr. Jenn Berman shared 5 keys to “Getting Heat Back Between Those Sheets”. These tips closely align with the need to Assess what’s on your plate; Integrate with what matters most; and Maintain the Alignment going forward. One of the key problems is that we are exhausted and over-stressed because we over-schedule our lives. This effects our ability and desire to be intimate in the bedroom. To better balance, say “No” more often so that you have more time, energy and interest to say “Yes” to your relationship. Ultimately everytime you say “yes” to something you are indeed saying “no” to something else. Be aware of this so that you can pace yourself and avoid tapping out your energy before you get to your partner.
She also mentioned the importance of communicating without placing blame. Personally, I’ve found that something I learned when watching my wedding video 19 years ago and listening to a toast by our Uncle Steve…”Your marriage needs two important things to thrive and they can be summed up with the initials P U. You need patience and understanding.” I’ve lived by this and also treat my husband and our relationship with the utmost respect that it deserves.
For a marriage to succeed in these times when everyone seems to have too much on their plate, it takes conscious effort! Other tips from Dr. Jenn Berman may be viewed at the video online at: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/08/15/earlyshow/saturday/main5244010.shtml?tag=cbsnewsSectionsArea.9 .
Be a Super Hero!
I got to be a super hero on Friday and for those fleeting hours, I’ve got to admit, I really enjoyed it!
My son has been racing motocross for the past 7-8 years. I rarely go because I get so nervous and stressed out watching him ride. After his last racing accident (early spring)he had 4 broken bones in his right foot. My husband and I swore he’d never want to resume racing. However, he followed every key race and tracked the progress of his racing buddies and couldn’t wait to get back into it. He’s determined and tenacious!
So, I bravely offered to take him riding on the practice track all by myself on Friday. This meant that we had to load and unload the bikes ourselves, pack the gear, drive to the track, sign-up and unload the truck. Driving the truck used to be a challenge but now that we picked up a newer pick-up truck, it’s easier for me to drive it! Fortunately, my son is now 15, and although a bit small for his age, he was able to handle the most difficult tasks with just a bit of my assistance (getting the bikes in and out of the bed of the truck).
The day went well! He rode hard. He rode fast. He didn’t get hurt. Nothing happened to the bikes. He got in a full practice in just a few hours because it wasn’t very crowded at the track.
I was way out of my comfort zone the entire day but in my son’s eyes, I was his super-hero and the best mom in the world! We had a great time together! He’s already looking forward to the NEXT time (yikes!). I’m certainly more confident that I can handle this on my own and willing to do it again. (Heck, being super mom is clearly worth it, right!)
I never held myself capable of doing this on my own. But by shifting my belief and asking my husband how I could best do this on my own, I had the opportunity to shine big in my son’s eyes.
In your own life, is there a belief holding you back from experiencing something? Is there an opportunity right there in front of you for you to be a super-hero in your son or daughter’s eyes? If so, what are you waiting for…push through and be a super-hero! From one darn proud super-hero…”It is definitely worth it!!”
The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom
Also found this article at the Glass Hammer site in the Work/Life Balance area. The tips are interesting and insightful so I thought that New and Expectant Moms visiting my Blog might also enjoy the content.
Here’s the link:
The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom
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NAFE Names Top Companies for Executive Women
At “The Glass Hammer”, an online community designed for women executives in financial services, law and business I came across this article about the Top Ten Companies for Executive Women.
The Glass Hammer explores issues that matter to executive women and provides an opportunity to share experiences and network.
Here’s the article:
NAFE Names Top Companies for Executive Women
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