On HIGH Alert

When we’re in new situations, most of us either consciously or subconsciously go into a high alert status. We’re more aware of our surroundings and cautious to protect ourselves.

As I walked my dog this morning, I chose a different path than ordinarily because I had a little more time and wanted to explore a bit further.  When I noticed a loose totally unsupervised German Shepherd dog just ahead several houses from where I was, I immediately took precaution and ducked down a nearby street before either dog saw each other.

Surprisingly, I found a paved path behind the homes with a nice wooded area to my left. Most of the homes had fenced in yards so this looked like a safe alternative. As I walked down that path, I was startled to see a group of seven white-tailed deer bedded down under a large tree. You’d think they would be on high-alert and run away but instead they watched me and my dog gracefully stroll by. Wow, what a beautiful sight! (Wish I had my cell phone or camera with me!)

I started becoming more alert to my surroundings, both to enjoy nature and to insure our safety. I noticed several other loose dogs, a large man walking towards us (I crossed the street to walk on the other side of the road!), a friend pass by in his car and wave, and I heard an approaching motorcycle and a speeding car coming towards us. It’s amazing how much more alert I was, when I was conscious of this action!

I wonder, how often any of us get so caught up in what we’re doing, go through the motions with routine tasks, or use music or conversations to enhance what we’re doing. What do we miss when we’re not alert to our surroundings?

Especially when you’re in a new situation—a new job, new work/project team, a new route, a networking event—you can raise your awareness and be more observant. Use your eyes to see what’s happening around you (and what’s not!); use your ears to listen to conversations, sounds, and the silence; watch body language and notice the aromas in the air. Use all of your senses to zone in to everything happening around you! Listen and observe at least twice as much as you talk!  Use your senses to monitor the situations around you so that you can more consciously choose the best way to respond.

How Confident are You?

Many ambitious high achieving professionals fear that they are not really as bright and capable as others tend to think they are. As they climb the career ladder they have apprehension and self-doubt.  Although they have accomplishments, they tend to attribute these achievements to luck.  All this weighs heavily on an already full plate.

Seemingly very successful business leaders at every level of the organization, entrepreneurs, rising stars worry that they’re not as great as others think they are. Although they’ve faced every challenge, received recognition and promotions, their customers’ think they’re a super star they fear that they will be found out!

The imposter syndrome can hold you back from pursuing dreams and goals. It prohibits you from feeling pride and a sense of accomplishment. It can cause you to work harder than anyone else to convince yourself that if you were really as smart and capable as everyone else believes, you wouldn’t have to work so hard.  The fear can be paralyzing and terrifying, if you allow it!

Don’t allow it!  Contact The Priority Pro for help stepping into your greatness!  Be as bright and capable as others already believe you are!

How Confident are YOU?

Many ambitious high achieving professionals fear that they are not really as bright and capable as others tend to think they are. As they climb the career ladder they have apprehension and self-doubt.  Although they have accomplishments, they tend to attribute these achievements to luck.  All this weighs heavily on an already full plate.

Seemingly very successful business leaders at every level of the organization, entrepreneurs, rising stars worry that they’re not as great as others think they are. Although they’ve faced every challenge, received recognition and promotions, their customers’ think they’re a super star they fear that they will be found out!

The imposter syndrome can hold you back from pursuing dreams and goals. It prohibits you from feeling pride and a sense of accomplishment. It can cause you to work harder than anyone else to convince yourself that if you were really as smart and capable as everyone else believes, you wouldn’t have to work so hard.  The fear can be paralyzing and terrifying, if you allow it!

If you’re one of the many, here are some more effective strategies:

  • Be aware of the phenomenon.
  • Make a list of the situations in which the feelings are likely to strike.
  • Take an objective inventory of your accomplishments and skills.
  • Stop being such a perfectionist! Allow yourself to make some mistakes and learn from them.
  • Keep track of praise and compliments you receive; accept it the external validation!
  • Disown your failures and stop blaming yourself for setbacks that are out of your control.
  • Talk to others you admire about their worries about their own achievements.
  • Set a modest goal for confronting this fear and think up a couple of steps you can take in the next month toward reaching it.
  • Break frightening tasks into several parts. If possible, start with the easiest part.
  • Separate feelings from reality.
  • Gain experience, education, and training.
  • Develop relationships with mentors.
  • Be selective about the drive to prove yourself.  Do a great job when it matters most. Don’t persevere over routine tasks.
  • Ask for and allow help from others
  • Recognize that everyone who does something new, takes risks, or stretches outside their comfort zone feels off-base at the beginning
  • Stop expecting to know everything

For more information about the Imposter Syndrome, visit:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200907/the-imposter-syndrome

http://www.forbes.com/2010/02/22/imposter-syndrome-professional-fraud-forbes-woman-leadership-psychology.html

http://www.inc.com/marla-tabaka/the-impostor-syndrome-when-fear-blocks-success.html

To take the quiz to see if you’re suffering from the Imposter Syndrome, click herehttp://impostorsyndrome.com/quiz.htm

Overcome Guilt

Is guilt getting the best of you???

Guilt…it’s all around us! Wherever I go, I hear someone complaining about “feeling guilty”.   For some reason though, this seems to be more widespread with women than with men. Women are guilty for not spending enough time with their children, their girlfriends, their spouse or their extended families, neighbors, and community; their guilty for not providing healthy meals; their guilty for how they look, what they eat, what they do or don’t do; they’re guilty for not exercising; they’re guilty for spending too much; and so much more!

What are we doing to ourselves??

Why are we trying to be everything to everyone…setting unrealistic expectations…and then beating ourselves up for not meeting these standards?

 

Interestingly, in an article in the June/July issue of Working Mother magazine, they reveal results of a poll they conducted. They found that 57% of respondents feel guilty every day, while 31% feel guilty at least once a week.  That’s a lot of guilt!

I used to carry a lot of guilt with me. Fortunately, throughout the years of working with others to help them be more focused and aligned with their top priorities, making a lot of my own mistakes, and maturing enough to be confident about who I am, I’ve been able to make more conscious decisions and feel less guilty. I’ve also learned more healthy strategies such as working out, keeping things in perspective, and simply getting over it. Sometimes, journaling, talking with my coach or a friend I can confide in will also help me through those negative feelings.

If you get caught up in the negative cycle of thoughts commonly associated with guilt, it can be very destructive.

So, I’m really curious, how do you cope with guilt? What causes you guilt? And, to help all of us realize that we’re not alone, what’s your guilt confession? (Tell me yours…and I’ll tell you mine!)

Please comment below! And, if you want to learn more techniques for handling your guilt, visit my site for a free article about the Top Guilt Busters or contact me at natalie@theprioritypro.com to arrange an introductory coaching session. I’ll also be blogging about guilt

Maintain for Best Performance

Ongoing maintenance is key to keeping everything running at peak performance.

I took one of my cars in today for an oil change and some general maintenance work. Have my other car scheduled next week once the four new tires I ordered come in.

This reminded me about the importance of not only tending to our cars, but to other equipment, vehicles and appliances we rely on every day. In order to get a full life from our investments, we must properly care for them!

This is true, too, for our bodies and our families. Wellness visits and quick response to warning signs will help keep you running at tip-top shape.  Although in our car, warning lights ignite on the dashboard when something needs our immediate attention, many ignore similar warning signs in their own body. If you’re suddenly feeling tired all the time, coughing, have difficulty breathing, are experiencing aches and pains, or just realize theat something is off, don’t ignore these signs. Similar to the dashboard lights, these are a warning that something needs your attention.

For those responsible for others, whether they be young children or aging parents, the same warning signs are indications of possible illness or other health issues. Pay attention…don’t be too busy to perform regular check-ins and maintenance. You’ll be glad you did because it could save you from long hospital stays, extended bed rest, and a possible financial burden.

How to Manage Your Inner Critic

Many of my clients and several audience members often remark that they feel somewhat like an imposter because they’re not as bright, capable or successful as others perceive them to be. They’re often afraid someone may find out. If you share this issue, this article interestingly helps you manage your inner critic. If you need more help, 1-1 coaching may be the solution to help you break through your blocks and be more confident and successful in your own eyes. Call or email me to discuss your needs. And, don’t worry, our conversations are strictly confidential!

View the Harvard Business Review article: How to Manage Your Inner Critic

DEFEATED!

I woke up this morning feeling absolutely defeated! After spending quite some time clearing a path through the snow yesterday and having just about every bone in my body aching, we got more snow! This morning our 450 foot long driveway that my 15 year old cleared down to the blacktop at around 2 pm yesterday was now covered in another 6-8 inches of heavy snow. My husband was stuck in NYC and had been there through the entire storm.

Although I got very little work accomplished yesterday because of the time spent clearing the sidewalk, driveway and cars, today was already shaping up to be the same! I really thought my life was already SuperBusy, this snow just added a whole other dimension that I certainly didn’t need.

So, I’m curious, how many of you had to clear your plate to handle snow yesterday or today? How did you take care of what you weren’t able to accomplish in other parts of your life?

Today I had a new appreciation for the people in Washington DC and that area who were dealt two big snow storms in less than a week and a definite yearning for those in sunny warm places. Hawaii here I come!!

Put Down the BlackBerry and Pay Attention

Are you a SuperBusy Mother who can’t put down your BlackBerry??

I’m learning to put down the BlackBerry and pay attention – Busy Mama – The Olympian – Olympia, Washington

Un-Turbo Charge from Your Super Busy Life


August is the number one month for vacations, but I haven’t vacationed in August because I prefer to avoid crowds! This year our kids had the first week of November off from school and we took advantage of it. We spent a week at the beautiful islands of Turks and Caicos at the Beaches Family Resort. We had a ‘real’ vacation and as a result we came back relaxed and rejuvenated.

In this day in age, it’s nearly impossible to fully escape. I’d say that over 70% of your day is spent with your phone or computer. Whether or not your are using it, its there. You are thinking about it. Thinking about who might call you or text message you. And because you are thinking about it, you happen to break it out and read the news, send someone a message because your bored or worried about something, check Facebook, or surf the Net.

If you are planning a vacation, do yourself a favor and leave the work at home. You need to separate yourself from work if you are going to benefit from relaxing. Spending a week away from the office without my cell phone or laptop has truly given me the break I needed. Beings my husband couldn’t totally unplug, he brought along his laptop and checked in briefly just a couple of times a day. Having the laptop nearby gave me the opportunity to keep clearing out the junk in my inbox so that I could concentrate on the important items left in my email once I returned.

I had the opportunity to spend quality time with my husband although my kids ditched us to hang out with some new friends they met at the resort.
Everyone needs a little R&R from time-to-time. Whether you plan just a few hours away or a couple of days, weeks or more, taking a break will help you re-focus while reconnecting with yourself and your loved ones.

Vacations are also good for a number of other reasons, too:

•Encourage Creativity: A good vacation can help you to reconnect with yourself and promote your creativity.

•Help Prevent Burnout: Workers who take time to relax away from the office are less prone to experience burnout, making you more productive than your overworked, under-rested counterparts. Vacations increase your quality of work and life.

•Can Help keep you Healthy: A relaxing vacation decreases stress and increases your health and well-being.

•Can Strengthen Relationships: Spending time enjoying life with loved ones can keep relationships strong, helping you enjoy the good times more and helping you through the stress of the hard times. Likewise, spending time vacationing apart may also help strengthen relationships, too!

Enjoy life and your vacation on the beach or ski slopes, visiting museums, sightseeing, or simply relaxing in your own home or somewhere else, whatever you desire. Simply free your mind from the boundaries and pressure of your work while you can, and take advantage of what this world has to offer, before you realize its too late. In the long run it may prove to be a very advantageous way to spend your time.

The bottom line is that taking a some time away from the stresses of every day daily life can give you the break you need and deserve so that we can return to your regular life refreshed and better equipped to handle whatever comes your way.

Giving and Receiving in Spirit of the Holiday

During the holiday season there’s much ado about giving and receiving. We spend a lot of money buying gifts and valuable time shopping and wrapping these gifts. What often is forgotten in this hustle and bustle is the simplicity of the holiday spirit.

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What can you give that’s not costly or time intensive?

What gifts have you received that haven’t been fully appreciated?

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We had more than a foot of snow last week and several social engagements were canceled. I saw this as a gift of time! With the commitment removed, I now had several hours to prepare at home. I wrapped, decorated and baked. Now, I feel ahead of schedule and I’m actually looking forward to the parties being re-scheduled.

When I’m out and about shopping I consciously greet everyone with a smile. I allow drivers to take my parking space. I invite people with just a few items in front of me in line. I walk around humming Christmas carols and occasionally burst into song.

No, I’m not crazy…I’m simply enjoying the simplicity of giving and receiving. Look for the joy, spread it widely and you’ll undoubtedly have a more joyous and happy holiday!

Wishing you peace, joy and happiness!!

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