Women in Leadership
I read an article in the Star Ledger last week (Thursday, Feb. 22) titled “Ms.-Fortune for women in leadership: Slip from long-term trend; state’s top ranks suffer loss”.
The trend I read about in the article regarding the decreasing number of women at top leadership positions is disappointing. Although this wasn’t something that I ever wanted, I know many powerful and bright corporate women who could fill corporate officer and board director positions. Fact is, we even have our first women (a mother!!) running for the Presidency and a somewhat slow growing number of women in government leadership positions at the local, state, and national levels.
However, in the Fortune 500 companies the numbers of women in officer positions shrank from 16.4 % in 2005 to 15.6 % in 2006. And, where I live (NJ), we can no longer claim a single one of the 23 women CEOs in the Fortune 1000 since Lucent’s Patricia Russo transferred to Paris to retain her job with France’s Alcatel when the companies merged.
My experience working with women in the highest leadership positions reveals the ambivalence these women sometimes face between wanting to climb the corporate ladder and wanting to be with their kids more. The demands of higher level positions are usually heavy and difficult for those with a family. Many of the women in the highest leadership positions have partners who stay home with the kids and/or full-time live-in nannies who handle much of the childcare and household responsibilities.
Women are the ones who have the kids and are genetically set to do most of the nurturing. Women leaders tend to make many sacrifices. “Work/life balance is a big challenge; we are the ones who have the kids, and that’s not going to change. Corporate careers are complex and women have a lot of choices, and that’s a good thing; if we want more women to stay
More and more women are opting out of corporate America and starting their own business where they can set their own path and achieve more of what they want when they want it!
I’m curious, what are your thoughts about the decline in top leadership positions by women? Would this be something you’d want? Email me to share your views.
Yours,
Coach Natalie Gahrmann
natalie@nrgcoaching.com
Reclaiming Energy
I’ve mentioned the other two things you can do to create more life balance in my past BLOGs. I wrote about gaining self awareness and making choices based on knowing who you are and what you want. This third thing is just as simple. It doesn’t require you to trek off into a distant land, search for some big guru somewhere, or take any more time out of your already Super Busy life!
The more you become aware and the more you make choices based on your awareness of your self, the more energy and power you naturally create and experience in your life. It’s that simple!
You can reclaim your energy when you start making decisions based on what’s really most important to you in your life. I said it was simple, but I didn’t say it was easy. Making choices often requires sacrifice or commitment. It also requires dedication to making things work.
When I left my career in the corporate world 10 years ago I made a very tough choice. I knew at that time that I really wanted to be the primary person raising my two kids. I chose to leave a job with high earnings and some potential. I chose to take a risk. My husband and I chose to simplify our life, especially our spending, so that we could make things work. It wasn’t easy. Fact is, it was very scary, especially at first when I signed the paper for my voluntary package. I didn’t have a plan, I just knew in my heart that the opportunity to leave happened for a reason and I felt compelled to make the choice to take in and see where the road would leave me.
I’m glad I made that choice back then. It created the change that energized me to use my strengths and passions to start my business. I don’t think I would have otherwise chosen to be a coach, a speaker, or a writer but I am so glad I did!
Making the right choices for you and for your life can energize you, too! Coaching can help and I’d love to be your coach to help you discover your self, make choices, and bring new energy and power into your life. Let me know when you’re ready!
Best regards,
Coach Natalie
The Power of Choice
So many people limit their choices because they feel they have none. They are stuck by “golden handcuffs” (high salary, benefits, stock options, etc.) that keep them in a position they are very unsatisfied with. I believe people always have choices but that every choice comes with consequences, both good and bad. Sometimes it’s the consequences that we fear that keep us stuck, but we do have choices!
One of my former clients, Barbara, felt slightly dissatisfied with her career opportunities at her job. At about the same time, she was getting calls from headhunters about other possibilities. She didn’t consider any of them because she had a number of years vested in her current company. As we talked about her situation, she decided that there was no harm in exploring her options. So, she spoke with a potential employer and decided to interview with them. She flew from North Carolina to Dallas to meet with the other company. She found that they were willing to offer her more money and career growth than what she had. As she reviewed the offer and evaluated it, we discussed her options and concerns. We found that although it seemed like a lucrative offer, relocating her family and starting over wasn’t something she really wanted to do….not even for the large sum of money they were offering to her.
Barbara chose to stay with her employer, but after the experience and gaining more self awareness about what was really important to her, she chose to meet with her management to propose changes in her job. They accepted her proposal and she was glad she chose to stay…even 7 years later when I touched base with her to see how she was doing!
We all have the power of choice in our own lives. When we don’t make choices, we’re not really in control of our own life.
We can choose to release what drains us and embrace what nourishes us. Realizing your life is the consequences of your choices becomes very empowering. If what you’re doing isn’t working for you, choose to change it!
Coach Natalie can help you make choices by being a sounding board and helping you explore your possiblities, brainstorming options, and empowering you to take control of your life.
Want to explore your options….take this assessment and see if you’re ready for coaching!
Here’s to you and the choices you make in your life!!
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie
Gaining Self Awareness
Gaining awareness is an important key to living a full and balanced life.
Self awareness includes knowing what’s important to you, what brings you stress, and what you enjoy. Knowing your values, needs, preferences, strengths, limitations, beliefs, habits, and priorities will help you make better decisions, communicate more effectively, and boost your satisfaction, performance and effectiveness. Self awareness is the first step toward maximizing your skills, leveraging your strengths, and boosting your performance so that you can really “have it all”.
You can deepen your self awareness through deeper listening. Begin noticing what throws you off balance and what brings you calm and fulfillment. Awareness is about being mindful, present in your life. Listen to your inner voice, to the people around you who care about you, and listen to your environment. When many things ‘break down’ around you, something probably isn’t working right. Notice what you’re attracting in your life.
I had a client, I’ll call her Dawn. She was attractive, intelligent, and a successful business sales executive at 46 years old. She was the mother of 3. When I asked her how long she’s felt out of balance, she replied, “just recently, maybe a month or so”. After we talked a bit longer, I found that 3 years earlier she divorced her husband after he abused her. The situation was so bad, that he ended up in jail. She immersed herself in her work, had few friends, drank diet soda for lunch, didn’t exercise, rarely slept.
Dawn had stopped listening to her life that was whirling out-of-control because it seemed easier to micro-focus on her work. She didn’t deal with her emotions because it was too hard. When work began failing, she called me. Once Dawn started listening to her life, she redefined success on her own terms, began trusting more, and delegating at work and home. She was reclaiming a sense of balance, energy and fulfillment.
Once Dawn began listening to her inner voice she made changes to her life and began living from the inside out. Self awareness is essential to living a balanced and fulfilling life! Both my workbook, and my coaching can help you gain self awareness. Althoug this is something you can certainly do on your own, have a partner who is unbiased objective and can hold things confidential, can help accelerate the process or bring it deeper.
I love being a resource for people who are exploring who they are and getting to know themselves newly. Let me know how I can help you!
Best regards,
Coach Natalie
Defining “Having it all”
Ok, I posted a message about “having it all’ and it prompted a question, what does that really mean?
Having it all may mean different things to different people. If you want to “have it all”, begin by defining what that really means to you and not what you think it should mean. Once you know what you want, you can take steps to consciously create it by adapting, adjusting and recalibrating similarly to what I’ve done in my life and helped many of my clients do, too.
I feel I have everything I want in my life–not in equal quantities but in satisfactory levels. This helps me live a rewarding and balanced life. I have meaningful work through my business; warm and rich relationships with my husband, children and our families; strong friendships and professional relationships; a great home and community; regular exercise routine; a connection with God; a spiritual community; comfortable financial situation; personal growth and development opportunities and more…so much more! I have a sense that I make a difference and that’s really important to me. I know my priorities and my values and I live my life based on them.
When I suddenly begin feeling overstressed, can’t find things, get short with my loved ones, then I know it’s time to take a break and recalibrate. It’s also time to communicate more so that the people around me who love me most, can help me be at my best. When my environment tells me that something isn’t working, I listen.
For instance, when I am pushing very hard to finish a project, sometimes my high expectations and perfectionism get in the way and cause me to spend every possible minute working on it and perfecting it. I might neglect my need to eat a well balanced meal, might sacrifice sleep, or like I mentioned above, I might lose my patience easily with those around me. I might feel a tenseness in my neck, a knot in my stomach, a headache or an anxiety that doesn’t want to go away. Whereas, I used to push even harder, now I take a break. Perhaps, I might call a friend, send an email, go for a walk, or play with the dog. I might even invite the kids to do something fun with me or snuggle with my husband.
I choose the organizations I want to participate in and don’t volunteer for everything that comes my way. I was invited to be on the Board for the newest organization I joined but respectfully turned it down because I knew I had enough on my plate. Saying “no” even to those real tempting offers makes a big difference. Realize that if you say “Yes” to something, you may have to say “no” to something else because there’s only so much time in a day. When you take on too much, quality suffers and things begin slipping through the cracks, or worse, your health or relationships suffer.
If you really want to have it all, there are 3 simple things you can do:
1. Gain more awareness
2. Make more powerful choices
3. Add more energy
I’ll Blog about each one separately so I can keep these brief.
Yours,
Coach Natalie
Having it “all”
This past week I’ve been interviewed for a newspaper article, a magazine article and contacted by someone from Oprah’s office who called to ‘pick my brain’ for a show they’re preparing. Many of the questions were similar although their objectives and prospective audiences were different.
What this says to me is that people are interested in finding out how I’ve created my own life balance and if it’s possible to really “have it all”. I feel that I do have it all. Through trial and error, listening to my body and my environment, and giving my decisions in my life thought, adjustments, and recalibrating when necessary, I’ve been able to create a dynamic life balance. My clients and research have also been instrumental in helping me maintain a balanced life and a positive perspective.
My clients come to me for help minimizing stress, managing their time, building skills and confidence, strengthening relationships, setting goals and achieving them. These issues are often symptoms of an unbalanced life. As my clients work with me they get more clarity and are better able to make decisions in their life to help them “have it all”, too. Clients who create a more balanced life also create more personal and professional effectiveness, productivity and efficiency
Want more balance in your life….call Coach Natalie for a complimentary coaching session to explore if coaching can help you get it.
To you…with balance and success!
Yours,
Coach Natalie
Incredibly Super Busy
This month I’ve taken on many more commitments than usual. With it being the holiday season and my daughter acting in her first play, I sometimes wonder why I’ve taken on so much.
Like many people, I enjoy being wanted and needed. I like feeling important. Although this may be difficult to admit, it’s in fact very common. We often take on more than perhaps we should because of the primary need of being accepted. Being a coach and knowing how quickly things can spiral when we take on too much, I’ve learned to pace myself and to stay focused on the present. With many in my family worrying about holiday parties that are still weeks away, my aunt’s surprise 95th birthday out in Long Island, and tending to all the holiday decorations, I’ve taken a much different approach….and I find it’s working!
I have 8 speaking presentations planned for December and a really big one scheduled in Las Vegas in January. All different topics, of course! I’m also working on a free 7 week e-course that will be announced soon. But in order to offer the course, I needed to select a shopping cart solution that met my needs. This took some time, research, and advising. When I finally selected the WAHM-Cart solution (I’ll keep you posted about this one because if I like it, I’ll set-up an affiliate program with them!), I realized that I’m right in the heart of my busiest period and really don’t have time to set it up (I’ve lost some of my technical astuteness when I left the Corporate world and no longer had the latest technology with all the bells and whistles available at my fingertips.) So, I tapped into my virtual assistant (well, he’s actually my web designer, and a great all around helper, Adam Hommey at Assess Communicate) to bail me out and keep things going even though I’m spending time somewhere else.
I’ve also decided to eliminate my annual holiday newsletter, have delegated the decorating to my husband and kids, have arranged for help from my mother-in-law, and have given up wasting time worrying about things and instead use the time to plan and prevent. What I’ve learned is that it’s ok to refocus and reprioritize, even if it’s just for this one year. We could revisit traditions next year and decide which ones we want to continue or replace. I’ve also learned to trust that everything will work out exactly how it’s supposed to. I get to where I need to go on time…miraculously, the lights are all green and traffic opens up when I need it (well, most of the time but definitely not always!). My copies are ready on time. Meals are prepared. And, everyone, including me gets to where they have to go. My family has become a team this holiday season with everyone taking on different roles and tasks and everything important getting done!
Hope this helps you re-think your holidays and busy times!
Warm regards,
Keep things in Perspective
Brian Dyson, the CEO, of Coca Cola was quoted as saying…”.
“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some 5 balls…you name them: work, family, health, friends and spirit; and you are juggling these five balls in the air. You will realise that work is a rubber ball and that if you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other balls: family health, friends and spirit, are made of glass. If you drop these then they will be irrevocably nicked, scuffed, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand this as you strive for balance in your life”
Keep the Big Picture view and keep things in your super busy life in a healthier perspective.
Reverse Negative Self-Talk
Who has time in their super busy life to get in their own way?!?!
Well, what you say to yourself radically effects the quality of your life, and your ability to do things effectively. This self-talk is your internal dialog—the words and phrases you use when you talk to yourself and think about things. Your self-talk reflects and creates your emotional states. It can cause you to feel calm or worried, depending on what you tell yourself. When you use words like “impossible”, “never”, “always”, “more problems,” and “I can’t” it de-motivates you and influences your self-esteem, outlook, energy level, performance, and relationships with yourself and others. It can adversely affect your health.
Fortunately, I’ve experienced how changing the patterns of self-talk can provide more positive alternatives. In one example, I was working with a group of moms during a coaching program we called, “Maximizing Motherhood”. I noticed that many of them quite frequently put themselves down. When I shared this observation, the moms chose to commit to alleviating this habit. So, over the course of the program they put a dollar in the jar to represent each time they used negative self-talk. This helped create an awareness of it and provided a forum to discuss it and practice more positive alternatives. They became very good at observing themselves and catching themselves in this negative pattern.
Below are some of the things that positive and negative people say. Look at the difference, and start talking to yourself in constructive ways, if you don’t already.
Negative Self Talk
When negative people explain bad things, they internalize them (“I’m so stupid/clumsy/fogetful.”), consider them permanent (“It’ll never happen.”), and generalize (“Life sucks…it’s too super busy.”). When they explain good things, they externalize them (“I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.”), consider them temporary (“That went well TODAY.”), and see them only in a specific context (“At least THIS went right.”).
Positive Self Talk
When positive people explain bad things, they externalize them (“The weather caused it.”), consider them temporary (“That was a rough couple hours.”), and see them as isolated (“THAT part of the plan didn’t work, but…”). When they explain good things, they internalize them (“Life is great!”), consider them to be more or less permanent changes (“Now I know how to do this.”), and generalize from them (“Things are working out well.”).
Become more aware of your thoughts and what you say to yourself. Catch yourself when you say negative comments and reverse that negative self-talk. Break the pattern and you’ll feel so much better about yourself!
Try this…it really works.
Best regards,
Coach Natalie
Stretching Outside Your Comfort Zone
My nine year old daughter gave me the confidence to participate in a speech contest the other day. It was through her attitude and her behavior that I welcomed the opportunity to experience the contest. I had a bunch of excuses initially….”I’m too busy”, “it’s not a good use of my time”, “I’m not good enough”, “it really doesn’t matter”. Then, remarkably it was something about her determination and courage to audition for a play that motivated me to just give it a shot.
I have experienced this same type of self-doubt from clients, as well. They hide behind their super busy life as an excuse to avoid risks or make changes. This experience brought me more self-confidence in exchange for a small investment of time. It provided an opportunity to experience participating in a contest against other skilled speakers. It provided a positive affirmation that I am an excellent speaker. Ironically, after I had my turn to speak and felt satisfied with my results, how I was evaluated by the judges didn’t matter. The fact that I had come to the event with a strong intention to do my best and to enjoy the experience was gratifying enough because I followed through on my commitment and stepped out of my comfort zone. I am pursuing my dream to become an excellent professional speaker. Winning first place in the contest and getting excellent feedback from the audience was the icing on the cake!
So, when you are faced with a situation that stretches you outside of your comfort zone to help you pursue your dreams and goals….remember, it is worth your time and attention even though you are a super busy parent!
Sincerely yours,
Coach Natalie
