Be a Super Hero!
I got to be a super hero on Friday and for those fleeting hours, I’ve got to admit, I really enjoyed it!
My son has been racing motocross for the past 7-8 years. I rarely go because I get so nervous and stressed out watching him ride. After his last racing accident (early spring)he had 4 broken bones in his right foot. My husband and I swore he’d never want to resume racing. However, he followed every key race and tracked the progress of his racing buddies and couldn’t wait to get back into it. He’s determined and tenacious!
So, I bravely offered to take him riding on the practice track all by myself on Friday. This meant that we had to load and unload the bikes ourselves, pack the gear, drive to the track, sign-up and unload the truck. Driving the truck used to be a challenge but now that we picked up a newer pick-up truck, it’s easier for me to drive it! Fortunately, my son is now 15, and although a bit small for his age, he was able to handle the most difficult tasks with just a bit of my assistance (getting the bikes in and out of the bed of the truck).
The day went well! He rode hard. He rode fast. He didn’t get hurt. Nothing happened to the bikes. He got in a full practice in just a few hours because it wasn’t very crowded at the track.
I was way out of my comfort zone the entire day but in my son’s eyes, I was his super-hero and the best mom in the world! We had a great time together! He’s already looking forward to the NEXT time (yikes!). I’m certainly more confident that I can handle this on my own and willing to do it again. (Heck, being super mom is clearly worth it, right!)
I never held myself capable of doing this on my own. But by shifting my belief and asking my husband how I could best do this on my own, I had the opportunity to shine big in my son’s eyes.
In your own life, is there a belief holding you back from experiencing something? Is there an opportunity right there in front of you for you to be a super-hero in your son or daughter’s eyes? If so, what are you waiting for…push through and be a super-hero! From one darn proud super-hero…”It is definitely worth it!!”
The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom
Also found this article at the Glass Hammer site in the Work/Life Balance area. The tips are interesting and insightful so I thought that New and Expectant Moms visiting my Blog might also enjoy the content.
Here’s the link:
The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom
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NAFE Names Top Companies for Executive Women
At “The Glass Hammer”, an online community designed for women executives in financial services, law and business I came across this article about the Top Ten Companies for Executive Women.
The Glass Hammer explores issues that matter to executive women and provides an opportunity to share experiences and network.
Here’s the article:
NAFE Names Top Companies for Executive Women
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Too much on Your Plate?
I just finished a 3 part series of my Lunch-and-Learn programs for Daiichi Sankyo. The first program was about Mastering Work-Life Challenges. The second program was about Taming Stress in your Life and the final program, which was yesterday, was my signature program, “There’s too much on my Plate”. The feedback was great and individuals really gained a lot of skills and strategies they can use in their own life.
What stood out for participants was my energy and enthusiasm throughout these programs. I truly enjoy what I do and am thrilled to have the opportunity to make a significant difference in people’s lives.
Participants found the A.I.M. process to be very important and useful. They enoyed having a framework to help them recognize their priorities. They liked my real life practical examples.
This program has been adapted to meet the needs of various types of audiences as well as different lengths of time. If your company or an organization your involved with could benefit from tips to help manage all this busyness, contact me!
Minding the Gaps
Thomas Lee is an authority on leadership and communication for organizational change and engagement in the workplace. He is a member of my Mastermind group and a highly sought out expert in the field of leadership development. Check out his post about the importance of focusing on the strategic imperatives of the business! While there, become a subscriber and automatically receive his regular posts to help close the gap between your potential and the reality of your leadership.
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Procrastination Busters
Prune your to-do list of the non-essential items you know you’ll never do.
For that must-do task you’ve been putting off, just do it – ideally, the first thing in the morning. This frees your mental energy – often, not-doing something drains you more than doing it.
Identify a part of the disliked task that’s fairly pleasant – such as calling a colleague for information – and do that first, to get your feet wet. Or make a list of the various steps involved.
Schedule hunks of time to tackle work that requires concentration. Actually make an appointment with yourself. Let voice mail pick up your calls. You’ll make a lot of headway in a short time.
If the task is really objectionable, promise yourself you’ll tackle it just for 10 minutes, then if it’s killing you, you can stop. You may find it’s not so bad and can easily keep going until finished..
If you want to avoid being distracted by email or the internet, put your computer behind you. You’ll have to swivel around in your chair to check your email for the umpteenth time, or to Google something you’re only mildly curious about. Going to the computer will now be a conscious decision.
Avoid the temptation to shift from one half-finished task to another. This task-hopping is a form of stealth procrastination that many of us do without knowing it.
For digitally managing tasks with sub-tasks, watch for our upcoming article “Use Outlook to Keep Track of Multi-Part Tasks” in the next issue of this eLetter.
Some of the best procrastination advice is from Alan Lakein – pre-tech era, but still excellent.
Reprinted with permission from Jan Jasper. (c) Jan Jasper 2009. www.janjasper.com. Jan Jasper is author of Take Back Your Time: How to Regain Control of Work, Information, and Technology, published by St. Martin’s Press.
It’s not JUST ABOUT Work-Life Balance
I have studied work-life balance for well over a decade and conclude that the key reason why there’s still a gap for employers, business owners, and employees despite millions being spent in programs is because these opportunities are mostly all externally-focused. Thus, work-life balance as we’ve known for years has been primarily focused on programs, services, benefits, and the like while neglecting that true balance is internally-driven. The symptoms often associated with unbalance include overwhelm, burnout, stress and other mental, physiological and emotional issues. Yet the programs, although helpful, don’t fully address the problem.
Balance is derived from a sense of harmony, peace and alignment. One who works 90 hours a week could actually be more balanced than someone who doesn’t even work at all. Balance is about knowing what you’re doing and why you’re doing it and feeling that sense of control over your life. When you’ve usurped power of your life to someone or something, it’s that powerlessness that causes feeling of imbalance.
Some of the more popular programs including childcare, elder care, concierge services, health and wellness benefits, flextime, telecommuting, and job share help ease the burden of working long hours while managing a life outside work. They also allow for working longer hours. Yet true work-life balance is about being aligned, making the right choices for you.
My studies have revealed that it’s not just about work-life balance, time management, stress management, or increasing productivity but all these things combined to help each individual overcome what I call Obsessive Distraction Disorder (or O.D.D. for short!). Distractions increase when you’re not aligned with what’s most important to you! By targeting what matters most, decisions are based on top priorities—what’s most important to you!
The typical work-life program offerings help create more time and sanity. However, time spent unwisely is still time lost; time that can never be recaptured! Unlike other resources, time is not a renewable resource. Therefore, it’s highly important to recognize what’s most important in all aspects of your life and realign around those things. Be crystal clear about your values, integrity, needs, purpose and priorities.
Remember the old adage…it’s not about working harder, but working smarter. In this case, think more broadly, work is a part of your life that serves a specific purpose, so LIVE SMARTER, not harder! Make wise choices aligned with what matters most to you!
Make Conscientious Decisions
We all have both big and small decisions to make on a daily basis. Decision-making is a key role for any manager or leader. However fear of failure and lack of clarity may prohibit some from making timely decisions.
After helping so many coaching clients and audiences focus on their priorities, it was time for me to practice what I preach! After playing a key role on the Board of my professional association, I enthusiastically agreed to continue in the role. However, as the work was concluding for the current year, I was feeling myself slightly burning out, frustrated and resentful. This is a sure indication that my boundaries weren’t being respected. Problem is, it was me who wasn’t respecting my own limits and boundaries! I enjoyed contributing to the organization, gaining recognition and acknowledgement and was so caught up in that that I nearly missed the signs! And, I had an important decision to make.
When you feel yourself feeling burned out, frustrated or resentful, chances are you are experiencing the same signs. It’s important to recognize these symptoms and assess the situation. In this case, I had to make a quick decision because the ballot was set to go out in just a few days. If I had mixed feelings about continuing, I needed to explore this and see what it meant.
I’ve shared the process I used with a couple of my colleagues and they encouraged me to share it with you! So, this is my process…
1. Get absolutely clear about the problem at its root cause. To do this I created some quiet time and space for myself for clear introspection. What I discovered is that I had over-committed to the organization at the expense of my business, family and myself.
2. Evaluate and assess the implications. I explored the implications of continuing as well as the possible consequences of not. Again, I got more clarity and increased my focus about what is most important to me. I did a bit of a cost-benefit analysis using time and energy as my highest cost factors and opportunity missed cost to assess time spent on volunteer work rather than on revenue producing business activities.
3. Test my decision. I wrote out my resignation letter on a notebook page and just left it overnight. In the morning, I checked in with myself and asked: Am I feeling a sense of relief or a sense of remorse?
4. Explore different perspectives. I looked at the problem through a couple of different perspectives. I weighed the pros and cons to me, the organization, and my family.
5. Re-test my decision. Still feeling a bit ambivalent about making the right decision for me and the organization, I typed my resignation letter and just left it again. And, again, I asked myself: Am I feeling a sense of relief or a sense of remorse? I was still feeling an incredible sense of relief at the impending decision to leave the Board and shift my energy to my top priorities in my work, personal and family life.
6. Commit to my choice. As difficult as it was, I knew that it was the right decision for me! With some reluctance, I hit the send button in my email that I typed out earlier. My note was brief. I did not choose to elaborate on the rationale of my decision because I know that it’s important to be succinct and to the point. In situations like this, when one chooses to say “no”, I’ve seen people coaxed into changing their mind because they’ve shared too much information and I’ve also seen people burn bridges with accusations, blame and finger-pointing. Being clear and concise will help you stand by your decision,as it helped me!
There is not just one way of making decisions but understanding and knowing what is most important to you will help guide your approach. For me, being professional, respectful, sensitive and firm were important criterion.
The one big lesson: It’s far better to communicate either in-person or by phone so that there’s a two-way dialogue. Sending an email created some confusion and disconnect that could have easily been avoided.
My mantra…stop me before I volunteer again!
Endure Success despite Multiple Priorities
Researchers frequently study traits of successful people. I find that it’s important for each individual to first define what success means to him/her. When you know this criterion for yourself, you can track, measure and attain it. Every adult seems to have conflicting demands and multiple priorities these days. Those who endure success despite these ongoing challenges have a few key things in common, they:
* avoid regret by making sound decisions in their life and their work
* have positive energy that helps them focus on enjoying the present
* thrive on challenges by seizing opportunities as they present themselves
When success seems elusive for an individual it is usually due to a mismatch between your core values or moral compass and what you are doing. Your needs, integrity, goals, beliefs, and strengths comprise who you are. When you are congruent, you’re able to create higher levels of success; when who you are and what you are doing are not aligned, it creates undue stress, frustration, worry and overwhelm. Also, when you rely too heavily on one or two strengths rather than leveraging a variety of your strengths, you’re less likely to achieve your highest levels of success.
I referred back to a December 2006 issue of Entrepreneur magazine to explore this issue further and found several principles that helped one company beat the odds and endure success.
These are my notes on the Guiding Principles:
1. When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
When you feel stuck and things aren’t working anymore, rethink, analyze, and discover so that you can shift directions before you dig too deep!
2. Take action–you can’t afford to wait for all the facts.Avoid waiting for all the answers before proceeding. Make your best guess decision and go forth to seize opportunities as they present themselves!
3. Get comfortable with ambiguity.
The only thing truly certain in today’s economy is that things will continue to change.
4. Find your brilliance and leverage it relentlessly.
Your strengths uniquely set you apart; know your core strengths and use them to differentiate yourself in the marketplace and stand out!
5. Being all things to all people is the golden rule for failure.
Be a leader by doing what you do best within your niche or target market. Avoid straying from your core of what you do best.
6. Cut the fat. Leave the muscle. Get lean!
Eliminate anything that doesn’t add tremendous value to your customer and your bottom-line. Streamline and reconfigure to optimize your resources.
7. Embrace globalization.Outsource where it makes sense by reinforcing your business strategy.
8. Create a culture of trust.
Timely honest communication helps create trust.
9. Foster a sense of ownership.Engage your team by empowering them and allowing them to have a bit of an entrepreneurial mindset. Have a clear and consistent vision with a message conveying your vision, the supporting initiatives vital action steps.
10. Hire and retain the very best people.An entrepreneur I interviewed said “Hire slow, fire fast” to communicate the need to be selective when hiring your employees to insure you employ smart passionate people who fit your culture.
11. Reward people for a job well done.
In addition to financial rewards, when appropriate, provide timely positive feedback that recognizes contributions.
12. Innovate, innovate, innovate! Look outside the paradigm for new ideas.
Instill creativity and reward thinking outside the box.
13. Choose your customers (or those who influence your customers).
Identify your target market. Also align your vendors and suppliers as the most appropriate to help you serve your customer base.
14. Give customers what they really want.Understand your customer’s needs by frequently doing market research to best understand what they want. Customers buy based on the perceived benefit they will receive from your product/service.
15. Practice perpetual optimism.Manage your moods by instilling a positive sense of hope through your energy as the leader. Being ambiguous and fearful evokes the same in your employees.
16. Never, ever be a victim.Victims have a low level of energy often portrayed with guilt, self-doubt, worry, fear, embarrassment, hopelessness, anxiety, apathy, and lethargy. If you or your employees are stuck in this low level of energy, shift the perspective quickly and begin increasing self-worth. (I’ll say more about this in a future BLOG post because energy leadership is a vital ingredient to your success!)
Receive Love
Mothers Day is a day for recognizing and appreciating our moms. This year, I feel fortunate that one of my colleagues, Renee Trudeau, provided me with her book, “The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal” as a gift I could forward to the subscribers to my e-newsletter. I received a couple notes from readers expressing their gratitude.
The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal is written as a reminder to the importance of self-care. My testimonial, “…it is a powerful and life-shifting book for every mom who continuously falls to the bottom of her ‘to-do’ list and forgets about the things that make her happy and feel her best. This practical and life-affirming resource empowers moms to reflect, renew and rejuvenate.” Although the offer for the free download has expired, the book is still available through major bookstores and online.
This past weekend, I did celebrate Mother’s day and surrounded myself with a nurturing and loving environment. After taking my mom out to lunch on Saturday afternoon with my two children, I brought my daughter and two friends to her dance competition and enjoyed watching the performances and skillful dancers. I also enjoyed connecting with other moms! Unfortunately, it was a late night! We got home after midnight.
After a restless night sleep due to over-exhaustion, I awoke to the sounds of my son hobbling through the kitchen on his crutches as he prepared breakfast for me. As I listened, a smile filled my heart! My son set his alarm clock so that he could awaken before me to prepare my favorite breakfast. How wonderful!! It tasted so good!
My daughter and her friend awakened late in the morning and washed my car after they helped themselves to breakfast. Again, a wonderful moment to accept love and be ever so grateful! I relaxed all day,and even took a nap. What a superb way of nurturing myself while my children expressed their love to me.
My husband made me my favorite dinner and cleaned up the entire mess afterwards.
For my Mother’s Day, I slowed down, relaxed, and gave myself permission to absorb the love around me. Hope you did something special as well!
