Reality Hits the Road
You may have had some sort of training along the way that helped lead you to your success, organizing, time management, goal-setting, right?
This isn’t about the basic time management skills or stress management 101. Take those principles you’ve learned like, (Covey’s) four quadrants, (Morgenstern’s) categorizing using the A, B, C’s for your task priorities, (Allen’s) integrated system of stress-free productivity and put them to the reality test.
What happens?
Unfortunately, many of these outstanding systems don’t work. Not because they’re not effective systems, but because people don’t fully implement them. Then, they give us and resort to their old ways, sometimes thinking that their situation is hopeless.
For instance, you start your day with a list or framework of what you are going to accomplish. You know what’s most important, you know what decisions need to be made but then, unfortunately, reality hits the road—
…the phone rings endlessly, the system goes down, your boss has a crisis that needs your immediate attention, you have some irate customers, a colleague plants themselves in the corner chair in your office to talk about her personal issues, you get an urgent message from the school that one of your kids has gotten hurt, etc.
The problem isn’t about managing time; it’s about managing all these interruptions. These distract you from accomplishing what you set out to do each day and if you don’t re-prioritize on a dime, ask questions to clarify importance and timeline, focus on what’s most important, delegate, be flexible (to a point), block out distractions, and say “no” when appropriate you may increase your stress, decrease your productivity and feel dissatisfied in what you’re able to accomplish on any given day.
Stay Active
I conducted a workshop yesterday about Staying Active for employees of IEEE. It reminded me of the importance to your health, well-being and positive energy.
Physical activity is so important that it has been added to the US Department of Agriculture’s Food Pyramid. Exercise not only helps you lose weight but it’s key to maintaining a healthy weight and minimizing risks of heart disease, controlling cholesterol levels, preventing bone loss, increasing strength and endurance, and supporting and strengthening your immune system.
If you’re one that either hates to exercise or doesn’t seem to have time, select any types of physical activities that you enjoy doing. Try combining activities into what you’re already doing…park your car in the parking lot at the store? Then, park further away and walk briskly (be sure you’re safe!). Work on the 10th floor in your building?….Take the stairs instead of the elevator!
For those who still say they don’t have time, read my article on “Fitting Fitness into Your Too Busy Schedule”.
Overcome those barriers to staying active by setting small reachable goals and brainstorming ways to better manage your time. If you still need help, contact me!! If you exercise regularly, share your tips in the comments section so that others may learn and adapt what works for you!
National Stress Awareness Day: April 16
Each year on April 16 (the day after tax day here in the US!) National Stress Awareness Day is celebrated as part of honoring April as National Stress Awareness month. Now, realize please, I don’t believe that this is only a national issue but a worldwide chronic problem as people continually suffer from illnesses and issues related to stress. And, I know that stress is an issue that affects most people on a daily basis.
As you celebrate National Stress Awareness Day, pause (at least briefly!) to take a look at your stressful life and deal with it in a much healthier manner. Here are just a few relevant, practical and (hopefully) timely tips to help you handle your stress today:
1. Prioritize
Do what matters most to you before you run out of time and energy. Instead of jamming your day full with things to do, consciously assess which of these tasks needs to be done by you, which can be done by someone else, and which, quite frankly really don’t need to be done at all. Target what matters most and you’ll feel a bigger sense of accomplishment! Stop worrying about trying to do everything and be everything to everyone and instead—FOCUS!
2. Set Realistic Expectations
Practice establishing more realistic standards for yourself and expectations of yourself and others. Avoid setting unrealistic goals for yourself. Be sure to allow sufficient time to achieve your goals and realize occasional setbacks may occur. Stop expecting anything—expectations and reality are often two entirely different things.
3. Keep things in Perspective
Make a conscious choice not to become angry, frustrated or upset about trivial and unimportant things. Stop allowing yourself to waste your thoughts and energy where it isn’t deserved. Separate what you can and can’t control so that you can focus on that which you can control. Instead of just worrying, determine which actions you can take and begin step-by-step to think things through and move toward your more desired outcome.
4. Eliminate Artificial Stress Relievers
Cut out artificial stress reducers such as alcohol and drugs, which can mask symptoms and often make symptoms worse. Eat a well-balanced diet which includes plenty of fruits and vegetables, as well as foods which are high in complex carbohydrates, moderate amounts of protein, and low in fat. Avoid excessive amounts of caffeine which has been shown to increase anxiety.
5. Practice Self-Care
Today is a Friday and it’s a beautiful sunny day so why not go outdoors to enjoy a little sunshine?!? A little activity and some good self-care can have amazing ramifications on your stress level and will likely enhance your entire outlook towards life. Your improved attitude can have a positive effect on not only yourself, but everyone within your life. Nearly any form of self-care will help contribute to your well-being. It doesn’t necessarily have to cost anything or take a lot of time. Some people enjoy gardening, reading or even a vigorous walk or bike ride. Others relish in simply things like good dental hygiene, a nap, giggling with the kids, stroking a pet or eating healthy and drinking plenty of water throughout the day. No matter what you choose, begin caring for yourself as well as you care for others!
Although we know the importance of healthy eating, exercising to help reduce stress, and ways to avoid stressful situations before they even happen, we often work too much, sleep too little, skimp on exercise, and eat the wrong foods. Start today by making more conscious choices to help you control your stress.
I’d love to help you handle your stress–let me know how I can do that!
DEFEATED!
I woke up this morning feeling absolutely defeated! After spending quite some time clearing a path through the snow yesterday and having just about every bone in my body aching, we got more snow! This morning our 450 foot long driveway that my 15 year old cleared down to the blacktop at around 2 pm yesterday was now covered in another 6-8 inches of heavy snow. My husband was stuck in NYC and had been there through the entire storm.
Although I got very little work accomplished yesterday because of the time spent clearing the sidewalk, driveway and cars, today was already shaping up to be the same! I really thought my life was already SuperBusy, this snow just added a whole other dimension that I certainly didn’t need.
So, I’m curious, how many of you had to clear your plate to handle snow yesterday or today? How did you take care of what you weren’t able to accomplish in other parts of your life?
Today I had a new appreciation for the people in Washington DC and that area who were dealt two big snow storms in less than a week and a definite yearning for those in sunny warm places. Hawaii here I come!!
Coping with a Job you Hate
Read my recent post at MyPath, powered by Manpower:
Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate: Coping with a Job you Hate
Are YOU a Workaholic?
Read the full article:
Are You a Workaholic? 7 Signs that Point to Yes, and 7 steps Toward your Recovery
Work (DIS)Satisfaction in the US
Did you read or hear about the new statistics on Work (DIS)Satisfaction in the US released this week? Check it out!
I am a colleague of Laura Berman Fortgang and authorized program facilitator for her Now What? program. Today I received Laura’s latest newsletter and asked if I could share this information about growing job dissatisfaction in America.
Anyone who lived through the depression might have a good belly laugh at these statistics because earlier generations did not always have the luxury of being happy in their jobs–they did what they had to do because they had to. Happiness was not part of the equation.
HOWEVER, for the past few decades, job satisfaction has mattered but never more than during the 90′s when the economy was good and people had choices as to where to work and how much to get paid. In the 90′s you had to keep employees happy to keep them!
NOW, and in the last 9 years since 9/11, we have seen a progressive dip in satisfaction.
People are making more and more concessions to stay employed knowing the economy is not good and the job market is tough. More of their wages are going to pay for their health insurance and other benefits. They are seeing flat or no pay raises. Furthermore, something that the news reports did not account for was how many people are working harder and carrying more responsibility as more and more of their co-workers were being laid off.
At the core, however, as someone who works with people looking for the next horizon in their career, I find that there are other core reasons why work is not working.
In the recent movie, “Up In the Air”, George Clooney’s character, an HR rep who fires folks, said it so well when he said to someone who was losing his job: “How much did they first pay you to give up on your dream?”
In America, we are known for people having the freedom to pursue their dreams and think big, but often, people give up on their dream. Granted, sometimes it’s for very practical reasons but our culture doesn’t really support people’s dreams in most workplaces. The bottom line rules, not the growth or satisfaction of the employee. We tell our kids and students to ‘follow their dreams’ and then, when they do, we ask them: “Well, how are you going to make a living at that?”
People also don’t take responsibility for their own growth.Work satisfaction doesn’t come from what you do but WHO you get to be when you are doing your job. IF you don’t like who you get to be at your job, it is your responsibility to find ways to change that EVEN if your actual job dscription does not change.
People start coasting. Their life works well enough and they don’t want to ‘mess with what’s working’. But is it really working? Dissatisfaction can set in so easily when we allow ourself to go unchallenged.
People allow their work drudgery to follow them home. It is possible to improve your life even if you can’t improve your work. Instead of letting our work drudgery follow us home, we can invest in our private life and create a happiness that can make work palatable. Invest in creating family memories, indulge in a hobby, ‘date’ your spouse or partner, take classes, enrich your life!
People can find other opportunities, even in a tough economy. HEY! Then the obvious—gain the courage to look for other work! Invest in your worth as an employee with training or another degree or try your own biz if you can stomach it and bank roll it.
No one promised us we’d be happy at work, but you deserve to be. In other words, it’s exactly what to aim for and yet no one is going to hand it to you. CREATE IT!
Reprinted with permission from Laura Berman Fortgang. Originally published in The Now What?® Newsletter,Volume Three Issue Bonus #1, January 7, 2010
Managing Change and Uncertainty
Change is inevitable – after all, nothing really stays the same. But in today’s challenging times, it seems like we’re on “uncertainty” overload, never knowing what will happen from one moment to the next. Here today, gone tomorrow – or, at the least, very different tomorrow.
Uncertainty bring stress and confusion, and while most of us would be quick to say that we want less stress and more certainty in our lives, what we really want is less of a stress reaction to what life is throwing our way.
We can’t choose what happens to us – but we can choose our responses to the situations we encounter. Let’s take a look at five different responses that people have to stressful situations. As you read through these five responses, you may want to think of a recent stressful event or news that you may have received, and see what your reaction to that event can teach you about how you habitually respond. You may have one type of response at work, and another at home, or you may react differently depending on who else is involved.
The first, and unfortunately all too common response to stressful events is to suffer and be a victim to it. People who respond this way don’t take action. Things happen TO them – and though they may complain and be generally miserable about it, they don’t take any steps to do anything. They allow life to control them, instead of the other way around. This way of responding is certainly not recommended, and eventually, it will take its toll on one’s physical and mental health.
The second type of response is to accept it the situation, and to get some perspective on it. Someone with this response may say “so what,” or perhaps get some perspective on the situation by asking if it will it matter in a year – or a week – or even in a day.
The third way to respond is to actually take steps to change the situation – taking action to bring it to resolution (or at least move toward resolution). This is a very powerful response, and one that many effective leaders employ.
The fourth way to respond is to avoid the situation. People responding this way make a decision not to get involved in a situation that they don’t see as concerning them, or upon which they can’t make an impact. For example, someone may choose not to get involved in a dispute going on within their office if it doesn’t directly involve them.
The fifth and final way that people generally respond to stress is to alter the experience of the situation. When we look at a situation differently, the experience itself changes. Changing perceptions is probably the most challenging of the responses, because we tend to be stuck in our own interpretations and assumptions about what’s happening, but it is also perhaps the most powerful of all.
It’s your world, and you can create it as you wish. Remember, what one person sees as stressful, another person barely notices, or sees as exciting and full of opportunity. How are you going to choose today?
(This was excerpted with permission from the E Factor Newsletter January 2009 – “Handling what life throws your way” © 2009 iPEC Coaching)
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Un-Turbo Charge from Your Super Busy Life
August is the number one month for vacations, but I haven’t vacationed in August because I prefer to avoid crowds! This year our kids had the first week of November off from school and we took advantage of it. We spent a week at the beautiful islands of Turks and Caicos at the Beaches Family Resort. We had a ‘real’ vacation and as a result we came back relaxed and rejuvenated.
In this day in age, it’s nearly impossible to fully escape. I’d say that over 70% of your day is spent with your phone or computer. Whether or not your are using it, its there. You are thinking about it. Thinking about who might call you or text message you. And because you are thinking about it, you happen to break it out and read the news, send someone a message because your bored or worried about something, check Facebook, or surf the Net.
If you are planning a vacation, do yourself a favor and leave the work at home. You need to separate yourself from work if you are going to benefit from relaxing. Spending a week away from the office without my cell phone or laptop has truly given me the break I needed. Beings my husband couldn’t totally unplug, he brought along his laptop and checked in briefly just a couple of times a day. Having the laptop nearby gave me the opportunity to keep clearing out the junk in my inbox so that I could concentrate on the important items left in my email once I returned.
I had the opportunity to spend quality time with my husband although my kids ditched us to hang out with some new friends they met at the resort. 
Everyone needs a little R&R from time-to-time. Whether you plan just a few hours away or a couple of days, weeks or more, taking a break will help you re-focus while reconnecting with yourself and your loved ones.
Vacations are also good for a number of other reasons, too:
•Encourage Creativity: A good vacation can help you to reconnect with yourself and promote your creativity.
•Help Prevent Burnout: Workers who take time to relax away from the office are less prone to experience burnout, making you more productive than your overworked, under-rested counterparts. Vacations increase your quality of work and life.
•Can Help keep you Healthy: A relaxing vacation decreases stress and increases your health and well-being.
•Can Strengthen Relationships: Spending time enjoying life with loved ones can keep relationships strong, helping you enjoy the good times more and helping you through the stress of the hard times. Likewise, spending time vacationing apart may also help strengthen relationships, too!
Enjoy life and your vacation on the beach or ski slopes, visiting museums, sightseeing, or simply relaxing in your own home or somewhere else, whatever you desire. Simply free your mind from the boundaries and pressure of your work while you can, and take advantage of what this world has to offer, before you realize its too late. In the long run it may prove to be a very advantageous way to spend your time.
The bottom line is that taking a some time away from the stresses of every day daily life can give you the break you need and deserve so that we can return to your regular life refreshed and better equipped to handle whatever comes your way.
Giving and Receiving in Spirit of the Holiday
During the holiday season there’s much ado about giving and receiving. We spend a lot of money buying gifts and valuable time shopping and wrapping these gifts. What often is forgotten in this hustle and bustle is the simplicity of the holiday spirit.
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What can you give that’s not costly or time intensive?
What gifts have you received that haven’t been fully appreciated?
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We had more than a foot of snow last week and several social engagements were canceled. I saw this as a gift of time! With the commitment removed, I now had several hours to prepare at home. I wrapped, decorated and baked. Now, I feel ahead of schedule and I’m actually looking forward to the parties being re-scheduled.
When I’m out and about shopping I consciously greet everyone with a smile. I allow drivers to take my parking space. I invite people with just a few items in front of me in line. I walk around humming Christmas carols and occasionally burst into song.
No, I’m not crazy…I’m simply enjoying the simplicity of giving and receiving. Look for the joy, spread it widely and you’ll undoubtedly have a more joyous and happy holiday!
Wishing you peace, joy and happiness!!
