Make Romance a Priority
Romance, in these superbusy(tm) times may need to be a planned event rather than a spontaneous happening. Either planned or spontaneous, here are some simple romantic ideas for little or no money:
1. Write a love note by email, on the mirror, on the kitchen table, etc.
2. Send a greeting card (email or regular mail).
3. Give a warm embracing hug.
4. Give a passionate affectionate kiss.
5. Meet for lunch.
6. Picnic on your living room floor.
7. Kiss hello, kiss goodbye.
8. Take a bubble bath or shower together.
9. Make focused time for each other.
10. And, talk to each other…communicate regularly!
Self-Discovery Questions
Yesterday in my e-newsletter and Blog I provided some practical principles and strategies for self renewal. Here are some questions to help you get started. Working with a professional coach will also help you create the structure and accountability to transform yourself and align with your top priorities. Contact Coach Natalie to discuss how coaching can help you.
Life Renewal strategies
Today in my bi-weekly e-newsletter I provided 6 tips and some additional resources for helping you renew your life. Here are some additional principles and strategies that may guide you in your quest to effectively transform your life.
1. Live a balanced life while you pursue your transformational goals. Allow time out for other interests and pleasures. Insure your personal foundation is strong and can persevere.
2. Avoid energy draining people who do not support your transformational goals. These people will convey their doubt and lack of support almost every chance they get. They will cause you to doubt yourself. Instead, surround yourself with like-minded people and people who support you wholeheartedly.
3. Investigate other’s successes. Explore how others have done what you’d like to do. Interview 3-5 very successful people who have achieved a similar transformation in their life. Discover how they did it, what was critical for their success and what suggestions they are willing to offer you. List the qualities that contributed to their success. Select a quality you know you need to develop and look for practical ways to develop that quality every day.
4. Practice daily habits that support your transformation. Determine your top priorities and specific actions you need to take. Eliminate distractions that may cause you to get off track. Create mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being practices you can do regularly that support your desired being. For instance, it you say you want to lose weight, eat sensibly and do physical exercise as part of your regular lifestyle. Take some actions every day toward your desired outcome.
5. Detach from the outcome. Although your personal transformation may be important to you, want it but don’t need it. Find other ways to get your needs met. Realize that regardless of the outcome, you will still be in a different place for having gone through the process. There are valuable learning opportunities inherent in the process of transformation. Transformation is a spiritual experience that cannot often be intellectualized. It is a feeling that cannot be forgotten or captured in words but is with you for the rest of your life.
6. Stay in the present. Enjoy your life today and don’t wait for the transformation to finish before you are happy. No one can predict the future, so, delaying your happiness and personal fulfillment to a future state will not be effective. Bring joy and gratitude into each day. If you aren’t happy with where you are today, you’ll need to learn the lessons involved before you will be able to move on. Acknowledge and reward yourself along the path of your transformation. Celebrate who you are becoming.
Stay tuned tomorrow for some empowering self-discovery questions! Come back often for more tips and strategies!
Teens Multitasking
For years, scientists have said that multitasking is ineffective yet many in today’s workforce continue to use it as a technique for managing their burgeoning workloads. In the latest reports, the effects on teens are noted. Although their propensity for doing multiple tasks at any one time drives most parents and adults crazy, for them, this is a way of life!
I remember a friend of mine boasting to me how his daughter can sit at the computer researching for a paper or doing her homework while at the same time having multiple windows open, the music on, and talking on the phone. She would be doing her Calculus homework, texting about German, and making plans to hang out, while searching the Internet for her latest research project. She was carrying a full load of Advanced Placement classes, participating in girls basketball and active in her church youth group. If she wasn’t maintaining high honors, I would definitely question the effectiveness of her approach. A daughter of a scientist and an engineer either her intelligence was found in her genes or perhaps her unique approach to getting it all done and keeping it all together.
Personally, as a baby boomer, I shudder at the speed that teens are able to tackle tasks and also worried about the possible long-term side effects that have not yet been addressed in scientific or behavioral research.
According to the latest research, although doing several things simultaneously may feel productive, rapidly switching between tasks may actually slow you down as your brain loses connection to important information and significant time is lost re-focusing and getting back on-task. With multitasking it is almost impossible to gain a depth of knowledge of any of the simultaneous tasks. Yet today’s teens have tremendous skills to be able to be doing multiple things at the same time!
An ever-increasing number of teens are finding it difficult to concentrate and focus on just one task at a time. Although there’s not much data yet on teens, David Meyer at the University of Michigan has spent the past few decades studying multitasking — mostly in adults. He says,
“For tasks that are at all complicated, no matter how good you have become at multitasking, you’re still going to suffer hits against your performance. You will be worse compared to if you were actually concentrating from start to finish on the task,”. When you are interrupted, re-establishing focus may take seconds, minutes or even hours.
Yet, with teens who have pretty much grown up on technology and multitasking, Meyer and others believe that these youngsters are developing coping skills unlike what older generations have developed and may therefore be more equipped to perform better in future work environments where they are required to accomplish a lot. They have grown up always doing multiple things, so they are naturally more skilled at it than previous generations.
While multitasking gives a sense of doing more and being more efficient, research suggests that the performance results are higher when fully focusing on just one activity. There’s not much research on the addictive nature of multitasking yet or the possible long-term negative effects on the developing brain. Researchers are not sure what the long-term impact might be because studies have not yet probed this area. While some fear that the penchant for flitting from task-to-task could have serious consequences on young people’s ability to focus and develop analytical skills, others are more optimistic.
For teens, multitasking is really all they know; they are conditioned to do it based on the availability of technology tools, gadgets, and the ease of their use. Who knows, maybe this generation will be able to teach us a thing or two about more effectively multitasking while being productive??
Pets and Distractions
If you are a pet owner, you may understand another area of potential distraction that I personally discovered today. After I dropped my dog at the vet this morning for surgery to repair his torn ACL, I returned to my office and found it very difficult to focus on my work. I was on edge each and every time the phone rang because I was concerned that something might go wrong. Working from home, I also missed his company.
As I started researching this notion further, the first article I came across, “Four-Legged Distractions” , written by Lisa Belkin for the NY Times on March 28, 2001, acknowledged this problem. Lisa is a contributing writer and columnist with the NY Times since 1995, an author and radio talk show host who works from a home-based office. She shared the difficulty of working from home with her new puppy, Riley, frequently seeking her attention and affection. As an expert in balancing life, she recognizes the challenge of work vs. pet ownership.
Pets are an important part of the lives of many people. In fact, many pet owners report feeling guilty about leaving their animals at home when they go to work. In a study conducted by the American Animal Hospital Association, 75 percent of pet owners reported feeling guilty and 38 percent admitted to calling home to talk to their animals. Being a pet owner has added so much to my life including exercise, a loyal companion, and more! Now, as my dog “Nibbles” begins his aging process, I’ll undoubtedly experience many more distractions as he has more frequent health issues.
If you’re a pet owner, how do you handle the distractions?
Distracted by Injury
I spent over 5 hours in the emergency room and several hours prior between the doctor’s office and the radiology office yesterday. My son suffered from a displaced fracture in his hand. This distracted me from work most of yesterday and much of today as I follow-up to contact insurance, arrange an appointment with the specialist, calm my nerves, and help him address him pain.
When family emergencies strike we are pulled from our work to address the situation promptly. I accomplished only the absolutely necessary to prepare for a workshop I am presenting tomorrow, (ironically it’s on “Stress Management”) and respond to a few inquiries.
When disaster strikes, emergencies occur, or the like it is important to focus where it’s most important and communicate clearly to others about your need to concentrate elsewhere. Having a strong support network was and always has been very helpful in any crises.
On top of everything already occuring, I had tried most of the day yesterday to contact another mom from my Monday carpool for dance beings it was my week to pick up my daughter and 2 other girls from school, pick up a pizza for dinner, and drop them at dance class. Unfortunately, I was not able to connect with the another mom from the carpool. As it got later and it was clear that I couldn’t get from the Radiologist to the school on time, I realized that I needed another plan. I called a different mom from the dance school, explained my situation and requested her help. She was not able to pick up the girls either but she called up one of the dance teachers and got her to help us out. The dance teacher connected with one of the moms I had tried unsuccessfully to get all day and explained the situation. Once the girls were taken care of, I released a huge sigh of relief and was able to fully focus on my son again.
Sometimes we are challenged by multiple conflicting priorities and emotions. During these times, it helps to know what is most important to you, what your options are and who is available to help. Always have a few phone numbers on hand so that you have a variety of people to call! Don’t be afraid to ask for help!
Meals in Minutes
In my latest e-newsletter, I shared a tip this week about planning quick and healthy meals. One of my readers who is a former client, shared anothe great idea with me.
“Last year, I was part of a moms group that prepared a frozen meal for each person in the group. It was good to get with them. Many of them had special needs kids. SO cooking is something they enjoyed. Plus they want health meals. I really miss the group. It was nice to have the meals already planned for the month. It was a really time saver too. There were 8 in the group . SO we met and decided what we were each will to cook. This took a whole day to prepare with shopping for the food. You need freeze. But you ended up with 8 meals for a serving of 8. I had them split my meals. So I ended up with 16 meals. Hope you understand this. But it was good for the season. Plus my cooking skills improved. Steve really enjoyed the variety. One lady loved to cook soups. Not something I did. Steve loved them. I have now learned how to cook a good soup.”
You can subscribe to my bi-monthly e-newsletter FREE!! Simply send a blank email to superbusyparent-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit my website and click the link there.
Have an idea to share, please add your comments or send your idea directly to me.
Stay Focused During Extreme Times
In today’s volatile and uncertain economy fears abound across many industries and professions throughout the US and abroad. People fear losing their job, their home, their financial savings, and their health.
This fear has immobilized many people and caused a sharp decrease in workforce productivity. It is very difficult for people to concentrate on the task-at-hand when they have so many concerns. We are indeed living in challenging times. These are times of uncertainty but life will continue.
Now is the time to focus like never before, to determine what’s really most important to you, and how you can best proceed. It’s a time to take fate into your own hands and be in control of your life. Rather than feeling like a victim, create your paths, secure your future, do what you need to do to help overcome your fears.
Fear is an indication to do something. Doing nothing or ruminating about all the possible scenarios can keep you stuck. There are very few guarantees in life. You may need to take some risks to take control. Determine for yourself the degree of risk you can handle and make choices based on this. Find ways to keep your productivity high as well as the quality of your work so that your self-esteem doesn’t suffer unduly.
These are days of extreme and often irrational pessimism. The way to survive this crisis is to stay focused on the fundamentals. The benefit to you is less stress, more control. The benefit to the economy and to businesses is that productivity and standards don’t suffer.
What’s your fears telling you to do different or do differently??
Overscheduled Kids leads to Over-Stressed Families
Teachers handed out an article last week at back-to-school night without identifying where the story came from. However, the article, “Kids call for a Time Out” stated the problems over scheduled families face and gave a tried and true solution…”Just say no”.
My children are involved in activities. Early on, my husband and I set limits on how many and how much they can be involved with at any one time with the caveat the school always comes first and any drop in grades will result in changes in their extra-curricular schedule. Admittedly, there have been times along the years that we had the same conflicts in scheduling, transportation and other conflicts that other families also face. However, my children have learned to make choices!
My 11 year old daughter was a competitive gymnast up until last year. She took up dancing to help enhance her gymnastics presentation and skills. Ultimately, she liked dancing so much that she’s elected to drop from the gymnastics team and devote more time to dancing. She originally wanted to take 5 nights of classes but in re-thinking opted for 4 nights, with usually just 1 class a night. We are involved in carpools and the dance school is conveniently located about a mile from our home. Next year, she’d like to try out for cheerleading. She wanted to try out last year but due to an already pressed schedule, chose not to.
My son is also involved in extra-curricular. During the spring he participates in a non-travel baseball team and in the fall/winter he is in a youth basketball league. We chose these because his main interest is motocross, which is usually a weekend activity. He, too, has learned to make choices based on his primary interests. The basic rule of thumb is up to 2 activities at any one time if they don’t conflict. Prior to registering, we ask allot of questions about the schedule and commitment.
A growing number of parents are avoiding over-scheduling their kids because they think the hyper-scheduling has gone too far. Now a Minnesota group has set up a website www.FamilyLife1st.org to help parents curb their children’s‘ crazy schedules. This group receives new inquiries daily as an increasing number of parents are ready to refocus their lives and the lives of their children.
How about your children…are they over-scheduled?
Communication Technology Distractions
Text messages, instant messaging and online chat (which is frequently being used in some work environments as a communication tool) are often over-used; some are in the form of pop-up boxes that immediately open when the message arrives. The Internet and the ease to search for hours on end is a frequent offender both at home and at work. The best way to manage these is to prevent them in the first place. Managing expectations in an age of instant access is a challenge but possible with clear indications of when and how these will be handled.
Telephone calls are another big distraction in our lives. When focusing on the task-at-hand, most people feel the need to pick-up the ringing phone whether it’s the cell phone or standard office line. Calls can come from coworkers, customers, patients, your boss, and family, friends and personal service providers (e.g., doctor, lawyer, accountant, auto mechanic, real estate agent). It’s easy to say “just don’t answer the phone” or “turn the ringer off” during focus times, it’s another thing to put this into practice. As long as your caller has an opportunity to leave a voice message, they will do so and you can call back at a more convenient time.
How do you protect your time and the 24/7 availability?
