Hardest Working Mom
Did you hear the news??
….MADONNA has been named the hardest working mother in showbusiness!!!
She topped a new poll in Forbes Magazine ahead of REESE WITHERSPOON and GWYNETH PALTROW. With take-home of $110 million (£75 million) in 2008, she’s in the forefront of high-earning women with children.
Madonna, who is the mother to adopted 3 year old toddler David Banda, 8 year old Rocco, and twelve year old Lourdes, took most of her money from her world tour as well as record sales and a string of endorsement deals. She and hubby Guy Ritchie divorced in 2008.
Also topping the hardest working mom chart (based on earnings) was divorced mother-of-two Reese Witherspoon who took home $24 million (£16.5 million) in 2008. The actress has two kids, Ava, nine, and son Deacon, five, with ex-husband Ryan Phillippe Paltrow, who also has two children, with husband Chris Martin, came in third with earnings of $20 million (£13.8 million). Mother of three Julia Roberts captured the fourth spot, while actress Sarah Jessica Parker, who has a son with husband Matthew Broderick, rounded out the top five.
If you ask me, hard working moms abound everywhere and it’s certainly not only a measure of what we earn. Many hard working moms earn little or no salary for their efforts.
Defraying Stress
The Top
By Natalie Gahrmann, The Priority Pro
Between work demands, caring for your children, and seeing to everyday matters and responsibilities there is little time left to take care of yourself. So, many working parents put off time for their own needs and desires. However, you are a key influence on your child’s development, so the amount of stress you are experiencing in your work, family and personal life has a direct impact on them. Here’s some tips to help defray the stress and help you consciously take better care of yourself.
1. Breathe deeply
Bring in the air through your nose, deep down into your belly and out through your mouth in a slow relaxed fashion at least two-three times to help re-focus, re-center and relax.
2. Take in Relaxing Smells
Aromatherapy oils, herbal teas or scented candles are all relaxing to the olfactory system.
3. DAYDREAM, MEDITATE AND CONNECT WITH NATURE
Visit places and experience them newly. Or, give your mind a mental break by simply imagining you are somewhere else and creating a visual image and experience in your mind of being there. Either way, fully connect with your surroundings by noticing sounds, smells and textures. Relax your spirit and body using soothing music and warm lights.
4. Avoid Overextending Yourself
Stop saying “yes” too often to requests of your time, money, energy or other resources. Say “no” to things and people as a way of honoring you. Allow yourself a chance to think about the request before acepting the invitation. Bow out later if the commitment is contributing too greatly to your stress.
5. Eat Healthy Foods
Eat foods and drink beverages that nourish your body and soul.
6. Participate in a hobby or sport
Create an outlet for relaxation that you truly enjoy doing. Use your creativity to write, sculpt, knit, paint, etc. Use physical activities or daily exercise rituals to help “blow off” steam both physically and mentally.
7. lighten up
Smile, laugh and just be friendly to others. Friendliness goes far and helps you feel good about yourself. Humor lightens up tension. Notice how laughter is contagious, too. People are more naturally attracted to people who seem happy, positive, enthusiastic, and excited about life. Stop taking things so seriously all the time and lighten up a bit.
8. Enlist help from others
Learn to ask for and accept help (even when things are not done to your high standard level!) You will gain by delegating and allowing others to help, even when things don’t turn out exactly as they would have if you completed the task yourself. Allow yourself to be nurtured by your friends and family.
9. Spend Quality Time with Your Children
Have fun and interact with your children. Be fully present with them. Truly listen to what they have to say and connect on a deeper level.
10. Get Romantic
Stimulate your body’s release of endorphins by reading a romance novel, or better yet, curl up with your spouse/significant other or make love.
Making Time for What Matters Most
Unexpected emergencies are normally crises that can happen at any time. They arise often seemingly from out of nowhere. Once they are there, you are more or less forced to take time for something or someone that you had not planned.
Quite unconsciously, or perhaps even consciously, you decide that the emergency takes precedence over everything else at the moment, because the person or thing that emerged is more important to you than anything else on your plate at this moment.
Emergencies, such as this, can serve to help you put everything in your life back in perspective rather quickly. When a health emergency arises, either yours or someone else’s, you immediately realize the importance of good health, wellness visits, and preventative care. Your perspective may shift to the importance of health, knowing that if you do not have your health, you may not have a productive or long life. Then, health becomes one of your top priorities.
When the emergency pertains to a relationship that is important to you, you recognize that the people you love and connections in your life, make your life worthwhile, so you take time out to take care of and nurture your relationships.
Making time for what matters most need not be relegated to emergencies. Imagine making time for your health, relationships and everything else that is vitally important to you, before an emergency strikes. Imagine taking excellent care of your physical body, your soul and those you love without being “forced” into it. Imagine sharing time, having real conversations, and being committed to understanding your loved ones or co-workers now – not just when emotions run high and things get a bit hairy or out of control.
Do yourself and your loved ones a huge favor and avoid an emergency by making time out of thin air today for what, and who, matters most to you. I am quite sure you will not regret this decision!
Re-Group when things are Chaotic
Lately I have felt like I’ve had more on my plate than usual. Working on a presentation for an entrepreneurial group, editing my audio book, revising my website, re-branding my company, serving present clients, contacting potential clients, writing my e-newsletter, writing some new articles, taking training for my own professional development and getting certified in a new tool I can administer for my clients, and so much more. Whew! No wonder why I feel so busy!
Several indicators tell me when it is time to re-group. First, I began feeling overwhelmed. Second, I was losing or mis-placing things. Third, I felt this incredible sense of not accomplishing anything. And, fourth, and likely the most important, my family noticed.
My husband recognized that I was always busy going to meetings, on the phone, on the computer but not connecting with him in our usual way. My daughter told me that she thought my work was more important than she was (ouch!) and my son got into some trouble. My exercise fell halfway off the schedule. Fortunately, I was working out 7 days a week doing running or walking for 10-15 miles weekly and a strength training video 2-3 days. Cutting out some of my exercise tended to make me de-energized and I ate more unhealthy foods.
When things start feeling chaotic, they probably are. So, before they get even further out of control. Take a break! Re-group and realign with what is most important to you, to your professional goals, and to your family. Make conscious choices and postpone, defer, delegate or remove some of the activities keeping you busy. Decide if you really need to be as busy as you are because if you’re busy doing the wrong things it really will not drive the results you are after.
Begin working smarter! It is not enough to get things done and check them off your list; you really need to be getting the right things done for that sense of accomplishment and improved results.
Are You Hungry?
Often when I am working with a client 1-1, we work on identifying their needs. Sometimes because of the nature of needs being something we crave deeply, especially when they are not being met, I refer to them as (emotional) hungers.
A number of years ago when I was teaching at the Coach Certification Institute (an organization which unfortunately no longer exists!), we helped others learn about the importance of hungers and the impact they have on our lives. They were referred to as hungers because they are propelled by a very strong instinctual drive; they operate with an almost primitive intensity and compel us to feed them at all costs, even if what we feed them is not the best nourishment for us. For example, a person who has an unmet need for attention, will do almost anything in order to feed that emotional hunger, similarly to when you come home after working all day but not eating a thing and reaching for whatever is handy to immediately meet that need.
Unmet hungers are dangerous because when they are not recognized and nourished appropriately, they can easily direct all of your available energy and attention towards getting the hunger fed, even if you do not realize it is happening! Hungers can totally distract you from the things you value and the life you truly want to lead. When someones actions are not aligned with what they say they want, there is a huge chance that there is an unfed or mis-fed hunger is operating in their life.
It is important to realize that you may need an outside observer to help you identify which hungers drive you. As a professional coach, I have a variety of tools and resources at my disposal to help my clients first identify and then work to resolve existing hungers. Once hungers are identified, the next important step is to find consistent and nourishing ways to feed them. When your hungers are well fed, you are released from their compulsion.
Stay tuned for more about needs and hungers in the weeks ahead in this Blog and in my free weekly e-newsletter. You can subscribe at http://www.nrgcoaching.com/ or by clicking here.
Create Systems to Simplify Overload
- frequently doing things at the last minute;
- wasting time looking for things;
- forgetting how things were previously done;
- ever feeling overwhelmed or disorganized.
Then, creating systems will help you increase your personal and professional success. Systems provide a foundation that helps you have a regular method or order of doing things. This alone can save an incredible about of time and energy!
An example of a system is your bill paying system. I write the due date on the outside of the envelope of each bill as it arrives and then put them in a organizer in sequential order by my kitchen phone. Twice per month, I go through these and process bill payment. To be sure I don’t forget to record bills set-up on an auto-pay cycle, I write them in my checkbook at the beginning of each month. Others use similar systems that are automated but I’ve found this system works well for me! Design and follow a system that works for you for each process you have, especially those that recur monthly.
To ease the burden of losing things, have a place for everything and consistently return items to their rightful place.
To save yourself from forgetting things, write them down. Keep organized lists of the things you want to be sure to remember and easily recall. Getting things out of your mind helps to keep your mind clear. The key here is to be diligent and consistent rather than writing things on scrap papers, back of the napkin, or other quick places to jot things down. If you have a smart phone, you can leave yourself notes here. If not, carrying a small notebook where all of your reminders are placed, might also prove helpful.
The good news is that anything you do on a regular basis can be turned into a system that will save loads of time!! Begin by just writing down the areas where you can systematize. Next, pick one area to start with and then implement more as time allows. You will be amazed at how much more flow and focus you will have in your day.
Get Into Focus
To help stay more focused, have clearly defined (written) goals and align your work with your goals.
- Start with a clear vision.
- Write your goals in actionable statements.
- Align your daily actions/behaviors specifically to your goals.
- Execute based on your priorities.
Make Romance a Priority
Romance, in these superbusy(tm) times may need to be a planned event rather than a spontaneous happening. Either planned or spontaneous, here are some simple romantic ideas for little or no money:
1. Write a love note by email, on the mirror, on the kitchen table, etc.
2. Send a greeting card (email or regular mail).
3. Give a warm embracing hug.
4. Give a passionate affectionate kiss.
5. Meet for lunch.
6. Picnic on your living room floor.
7. Kiss hello, kiss goodbye.
8. Take a bubble bath or shower together.
9. Make focused time for each other.
10. And, talk to each other…communicate regularly!
Self-Discovery Questions
Yesterday in my e-newsletter and Blog I provided some practical principles and strategies for self renewal. Here are some questions to help you get started. Working with a professional coach will also help you create the structure and accountability to transform yourself and align with your top priorities. Contact Coach Natalie to discuss how coaching can help you.
Life Renewal strategies
Today in my bi-weekly e-newsletter I provided 6 tips and some additional resources for helping you renew your life. Here are some additional principles and strategies that may guide you in your quest to effectively transform your life.
1. Live a balanced life while you pursue your transformational goals. Allow time out for other interests and pleasures. Insure your personal foundation is strong and can persevere.
2. Avoid energy draining people who do not support your transformational goals. These people will convey their doubt and lack of support almost every chance they get. They will cause you to doubt yourself. Instead, surround yourself with like-minded people and people who support you wholeheartedly.
3. Investigate other’s successes. Explore how others have done what you’d like to do. Interview 3-5 very successful people who have achieved a similar transformation in their life. Discover how they did it, what was critical for their success and what suggestions they are willing to offer you. List the qualities that contributed to their success. Select a quality you know you need to develop and look for practical ways to develop that quality every day.
4. Practice daily habits that support your transformation. Determine your top priorities and specific actions you need to take. Eliminate distractions that may cause you to get off track. Create mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being practices you can do regularly that support your desired being. For instance, it you say you want to lose weight, eat sensibly and do physical exercise as part of your regular lifestyle. Take some actions every day toward your desired outcome.
5. Detach from the outcome. Although your personal transformation may be important to you, want it but don’t need it. Find other ways to get your needs met. Realize that regardless of the outcome, you will still be in a different place for having gone through the process. There are valuable learning opportunities inherent in the process of transformation. Transformation is a spiritual experience that cannot often be intellectualized. It is a feeling that cannot be forgotten or captured in words but is with you for the rest of your life.
6. Stay in the present. Enjoy your life today and don’t wait for the transformation to finish before you are happy. No one can predict the future, so, delaying your happiness and personal fulfillment to a future state will not be effective. Bring joy and gratitude into each day. If you aren’t happy with where you are today, you’ll need to learn the lessons involved before you will be able to move on. Acknowledge and reward yourself along the path of your transformation. Celebrate who you are becoming.
Stay tuned tomorrow for some empowering self-discovery questions! Come back often for more tips and strategies!
