Get Into Focus
To help stay more focused, have clearly defined (written) goals and align your work with your goals.
- Start with a clear vision.
- Write your goals in actionable statements.
- Align your daily actions/behaviors specifically to your goals.
- Execute based on your priorities.
Make Romance a Priority
Romance, in these superbusy(tm) times may need to be a planned event rather than a spontaneous happening. Either planned or spontaneous, here are some simple romantic ideas for little or no money:
1. Write a love note by email, on the mirror, on the kitchen table, etc.
2. Send a greeting card (email or regular mail).
3. Give a warm embracing hug.
4. Give a passionate affectionate kiss.
5. Meet for lunch.
6. Picnic on your living room floor.
7. Kiss hello, kiss goodbye.
8. Take a bubble bath or shower together.
9. Make focused time for each other.
10. And, talk to each other…communicate regularly!
Self-Discovery Questions
Yesterday in my e-newsletter and Blog I provided some practical principles and strategies for self renewal. Here are some questions to help you get started. Working with a professional coach will also help you create the structure and accountability to transform yourself and align with your top priorities. Contact Coach Natalie to discuss how coaching can help you.
Life Renewal strategies
Today in my bi-weekly e-newsletter I provided 6 tips and some additional resources for helping you renew your life. Here are some additional principles and strategies that may guide you in your quest to effectively transform your life.
1. Live a balanced life while you pursue your transformational goals. Allow time out for other interests and pleasures. Insure your personal foundation is strong and can persevere.
2. Avoid energy draining people who do not support your transformational goals. These people will convey their doubt and lack of support almost every chance they get. They will cause you to doubt yourself. Instead, surround yourself with like-minded people and people who support you wholeheartedly.
3. Investigate other’s successes. Explore how others have done what you’d like to do. Interview 3-5 very successful people who have achieved a similar transformation in their life. Discover how they did it, what was critical for their success and what suggestions they are willing to offer you. List the qualities that contributed to their success. Select a quality you know you need to develop and look for practical ways to develop that quality every day.
4. Practice daily habits that support your transformation. Determine your top priorities and specific actions you need to take. Eliminate distractions that may cause you to get off track. Create mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being practices you can do regularly that support your desired being. For instance, it you say you want to lose weight, eat sensibly and do physical exercise as part of your regular lifestyle. Take some actions every day toward your desired outcome.
5. Detach from the outcome. Although your personal transformation may be important to you, want it but don’t need it. Find other ways to get your needs met. Realize that regardless of the outcome, you will still be in a different place for having gone through the process. There are valuable learning opportunities inherent in the process of transformation. Transformation is a spiritual experience that cannot often be intellectualized. It is a feeling that cannot be forgotten or captured in words but is with you for the rest of your life.
6. Stay in the present. Enjoy your life today and don’t wait for the transformation to finish before you are happy. No one can predict the future, so, delaying your happiness and personal fulfillment to a future state will not be effective. Bring joy and gratitude into each day. If you aren’t happy with where you are today, you’ll need to learn the lessons involved before you will be able to move on. Acknowledge and reward yourself along the path of your transformation. Celebrate who you are becoming.
Stay tuned tomorrow for some empowering self-discovery questions! Come back often for more tips and strategies!
Meals in Minutes
In my latest e-newsletter, I shared a tip this week about planning quick and healthy meals. One of my readers who is a former client, shared anothe great idea with me.
“Last year, I was part of a moms group that prepared a frozen meal for each person in the group. It was good to get with them. Many of them had special needs kids. SO cooking is something they enjoyed. Plus they want health meals. I really miss the group. It was nice to have the meals already planned for the month. It was a really time saver too. There were 8 in the group . SO we met and decided what we were each will to cook. This took a whole day to prepare with shopping for the food. You need freeze. But you ended up with 8 meals for a serving of 8. I had them split my meals. So I ended up with 16 meals. Hope you understand this. But it was good for the season. Plus my cooking skills improved. Steve really enjoyed the variety. One lady loved to cook soups. Not something I did. Steve loved them. I have now learned how to cook a good soup.”
You can subscribe to my bi-monthly e-newsletter FREE!! Simply send a blank email to superbusyparent-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit my website and click the link there.
Have an idea to share, please add your comments or send your idea directly to me.
Is Sarah Palin ready to be the next VP?
Pretty much everywhere I go and in many of my phone conversations, women are talking about Sarah Palin’s nomination to the VP spot on the Republican ticket. Never before have I heard so many diverse people voice their opinions and concerns about an election. Her election has provoked many conversations and reactions not only in the US, but around the world!
I was interviewed on News Radio 740 KTRH located in Houston, TX in a show that aired this past Monday. They inquired about my opinion regarding working mothers. So, I wonder, is the controversy about her election into the VP candidate position really about her experience, her family responsibilities, her views on the issues, her ability to perform the job duties, or perhaps, something else or a combination of sorts?
The question I keep hearing is “What is a woman with five children, including an infant with Downs Syndrome, doing seeking the Vice Presidency of the United States?”
My initial reaction is that if this were a man (and many men have had families while holding high public office!) it would not be discussed as an issue. In an election year where Hillary Clinton nearly became the first Presidential candidate women have been more involved emotionally and mentally from the onset of this campaign.
I’ve heard this issue characterized as a gender bias issue and also sexist. I’ve heard people across the country question whether a mother of five would have a hard time fulfilling the duties of the second highest office in the country. I’ve also heard people question her commitment to her family and what’s in the best interest of her children.
The real issues should be about whether or not any candidate can fulfill the oath of their position. Do they have the experience, knowledge, resources to handle their job responsibilities? Will their be conflicting demands and priorities that might interfere with the duties of the position? If so, how will they be handled? What if she became pregnant again while in office?
Women have successfully worked for years in positions of varying responsibilites and visibility. Working mothers have led successful companies, states, towns, hospitals, and universities. Is the Vice Presidential position such a position that lends itself to the work-life balance needs of a working mother (and soon-to-be grandmother)?
Many career opportunities are available today for women who seek a career outside the home. With work-life balance being a top concern of employers and employees since the 60′s, much has been done to address the needs and provide a variety of approaches for helping people manage. Is the government ready to address ths at such a high level? If so, what will this do for working mothers across the Country?
One concern that’s come up for me is that although much of what I initially read and heard about Sarah Palin described her husband as a caretaker for their children and a stay-at-home dad, the more recent news describes him as an oil field production operator, a commercial fisherman, and professional snowmobile racer who spends extended periods away from the home. His work requires that he spend most of his time out at sea or traveling at high speeds over frozen tundra.
No mention has been made of extended family or a support network of friends who have helped in the past with child rearing (or other home-based responsibilities) or might be available in the future if Mrs. Palin becomes the Vice President of the United States of America. There is no dispute that young children do need the time and attention from their parent(s). In my opinion, how Sarah Palin cares for her children is really more of a personal decision but one which deserves attention from the point that, if elected, she would hold the highest office of any woman in the US. And, if the elected President, John McCain had any issues that prevented him from fulfilling his duties, Sarah Palin would become the first female President of the US. Is she ready? Is America ready? Is the world ready?
Is this discussion and the questions raised sexist or realist? What are your views??
The Glass Hammer exists
If you are a women executive in the financial services, law or business industry, you may be interested in a BLOG called “The Glass Hammer“. This site is an online community created specifically for women executives in financial services, law and business. It’s not only about work, but also about what to do after work, and it’s about having fun and being a fantastic human being.
The founder, Nicki Gilmour, publishes this BLOG to help you not only survive but to thrive at life and at work. The goal of The Glass Hammer site is to:
- Engage you with stories from the top and the trenches and share with you the good, bad and ugly of life in the business world.
- Answer your questions and address work/life issues via our on-call panel of industry experts.
- Become the ONE place you check for networking and employment opportunities.
- Give you the best training and support so both your career and your life can flourish.
Check it out and let us know what you think!
Workplace Distractions
Robin Fogel, a fellow Executive and Career Coach, recently published the following in her monthly newsletter and granted me permission to share it here. To learn more about Robin visit, http://www.coachrobinfogel.com/.
Whether it is the workplace or life in general, our modern existence seems to demand that we get more done. Yet while we are being asked to accomplish more, there are also greater distractions. Multitasking was originally praised as one solution, a way to accomplish more, a way that we could be more efficient. Recent scientific findings are now reaching the opposite conclusion; multitasking is not making us more productive, in fact it may be reducing productivity. Now, in a new book by Maggie Jackson, “Distracted: The Erosion of Attention and the Coming Dark Age“, the author writes that constant interruptions have hurt workers’ ability to focus. She says that, “roughly once every three minutes, typical cubicle dwellers set aside whatever they are doing and start something else”. She writes that these constant interruptions consume as much as “28% of the average US worker’s day, including recovery time, and sap productivity to the tune of $650 billion a year“.
While the costs to businesses are enormous there are personal costs as well. A recent study found that those workers who are regularly interrupted expressed greater frustration, and felt greater pressure and stress over their inability to get their work done.
Ms. Jackson wrote that if we “jump on every e-mail or ping; we’ll have trouble pursuing our long term goals”. So, as you read this article, if you are also checking your voicemail, talking to a
co-worker or toggling between websites, remember that it is the ability to focus and complete one task at a time that will increase your productivity and have you feeling less frustrated. And remember to close your office door, if you have one, for some uninterrupted work time. Turn off the email alert beeper on your computer, and make it clear that you are not to be disturbed unless there is a true emergency.
The late Peter Drucker, author of “The Effective Executive”, once wrote, “To be effective, every knowledgeable worker, and especially every executive needs to dispose of time in fairly large chunks…to have small dribs and drabs of time at his disposal will not be sufficient even if the total is an impressive number of hours.”
Conquer Challenges of Work & Family
As life continues to speed up around you and technology provides opportunities for you to do more, many people feel further away from living a balanced life. One of the central concerns of all working professionals is to live a balanced life. Your life, however, is fluid and in constant motion, therefore the challenges you face are continually shifting and evolving. You must find the formula that works for you and avoid the should’s, could’s, and have to’s because they reflect someone else’s standards rather than your own.
You must learn to look, not for a solution, but for a process, a way of addressing your challenges and issues that you can use over and over as each issue arises. Just as you weigh the pro’s and con’s of each course of action at work, you set goals and objectives, you organize your work, you delegate, and, you communicate, you must learn to bring this level of concentration, focus and discipline to your life at home. Interestingly, the same skills that contribute to your success on the job and make you a valued, productive employee, are the skills you also need to manage your home life and to achieve a healthy balance.
Some of the common challenges facing working professionals today include: time for self, relationships and family; being able to organize at home and work; sticking to priorities; professional development and career growth; societal standards; conflicting demands; and sheer exhaustion. You can combat some of these challenges by:
- keeping a healthy perspective
- rethinking the ‘should’s, ‘could’s, ‘have to’s, ‘ought’s and ‘if only’s in your life
- acknowledging and accepting your reality and current situation
- recognizing your limitations
- having a positive attitude
- aligning your actions and handling of every day tasks and demands with what’s truly most important to you (seek the joy in life and you’ll end up feeling balanced and happy)
- committing to making changes to simplify your life and eliminate habits that no longer serve you.
The stress of balancing work and personal life can make you feel out of control. It can negatively affect your health and self-esteem. Feeling in control increases your ability to cope and feel better about yourself. The end result is that you can be a more productive worker and a more loving parent and partner.
Use driving time
Lately I’ve been attending more meetings, events, conferences and tapings than normal so I’ve been spending more time on the road commuting to and from locations than I usually do. It is a good reminder for me that this time can feel totally wasted or effectively used, depending on how you spend it. You have numerous options how to use your commuting time. Here are a couple of things that come to mind:
- Relax. Do nothing and feel good about it!
- Practice deep breathing.
- Do Kegal exercises (or other exercises or stretches you can safely perform while driving).
- Catch up on phone calls (using a headset or speakerphone, of course!)
- Listen to music—your choice, highly energizing or soft and relaxing.
- Create a to-do list.
- Sing!
- Dictate into a tape recorder.
- Observe nature, people, cars, billboards, etc. Be really present in the moment.
- Change your clothes (not highly recommended! I used to do this on my commute from the office to the college when I was working on my masters).
- Eat (be careful though, some foods adapt better to eating on the go than others!)
- Drink—non-alcoholic, of course!. (I recommend keeping a bottle of water in your car at all times. If it’s there, you’re more likely to drink it)
- Plan your meals.
- Create your shopping list.
- Put on make-up (while the car is stopped at a light or in traffic, of course!)
Spend some quality time with your children (if they’re commuting with you. Children are more likely to talk and share information when you’re not able to look them right in the eye). - Find another route. Explore other roads less traveled.
- Carpool with a friend and really get to know him/her.
Rest your eyes (not while your car is moving but when you are stopped briefly). - Do errands along the way to avoid extra trips out.
- Play a game (even if no one else is in the car with you! I’ve stopped boredom a number of times by noting license plates from other states, counting convertibles, etc.).
- Practice a conversation or speech.
- Listen to an inspirational audio.
- Take an audio class for personal or professional growth.
- Flirt!
- Wave to someone in another car.
- Plan a date.
- Phone home. Find out if anything is needed. Get a feel for everyone else’s mood so that you can adjust yours accordingly.
- Read (only if someone else is driving!)
- Knit (only if someone else is driving!)
- Clip coupons (only if someone else is driving!)
- Just look out the window.
- Have a crisis (not highly recommended! Be sure you have enough gas, oil and other fluids, the right tire pressure, working lights and windshield wipers, etc. Have some extra cash and coins on-hand. Have a snack and drink readily available. Have a first-aid kit, emergency supplies, a map, a working phone, and anything else you can think of on-hand to avoid having a crisis to or from work. Either will totally ruin your day!)
- Unwind from a stressful morning on your commute in. Be thankful that you’re away from the craziness of home!
- Unwind from a stressful day at work. Be thankful to be reuniting with your family after a busy day on-the-job.
With a list this long, I’m sure you’ll find some things to do during your commute, so, consciously choose how you want to use your commuting time. Avoid letting circumstances rule your time. Try out some of the ideas above, create some new one (and share them with me, of course!)
