Utilizing Time More Efficiently
This article about “Time Management” has been reprinted several times over the years. It is currently available in Treasure Coast Parenting. Find it at http://www.tcparenting.com/0211_February/index.html or online in the resource section of my website, http://www.theprioritypro.com/resources/blog/. Post your comments here about how you do and don’t use time efficiently. You could win a FREE coaching session!
Restore Balance
With an added flurry of activities to complete in preparation for the holiday season, it’s vitally important that you continually and consciously restore your sense of balance.
Here are a few places to start:
- Set Realistic Goals – Establish goals for yourself based on your key priorities. For example, if being physically fit is highly important to you, then create an exercise plan and schedule time daily to honor it. Be sure your goals are positively-based (e.g., to be strong and healthy) vs. negatively-based (e.g., to lose 30 pounts). Avoid being all things to all people!
- Minimize the Clutter – Unfortunately, most of us have clutter some where in our lives, either in our office, our car, at home, or in our head! Manage that clutter so that it doesn’t accumulate. Filter what comes in to your spaces. Being in a clean, clutter-free zone will provide you with a sense of peace and the feeling of having some control over at least part of your environment.
- Detach regularly – Allow yourself some time to disconnect from the demands of work. Avoid checking email, texts, instant messages at least every once in a while to give yourself a break and to differentiate the important from the urgent.
- Set stronger boundaries – One of the most important things you can do to preserve your health and well-being while minimizing stress and overwhelm is to say “no” to demands placed upon you. Realize that you don’t need to accept every invitiation, assignment, project, etc. offered to you.
- Ask for help – Rather than suffering in silence, anger or frustration speak up and ask for help. Very often, famiy members, friends, neighbors or co-workers would be thrilled to help if they only knew you needed it. Anticipate whenever possible, so that you have help readily available before you have a meltdown!
Happy Summer!
Today is officially the first day of summer. For some, it may have felt that summer started weeks ago when your kids ended their school year or when the days were longer and hotter. With temperatures peaking in the 90’s today and bright sunshine, it will definitely feel like summer here in NJ, although the kids don’t finish their school year until Wednesday!
As each new season comes and goes, many of my clients use it as a time for self-reflection and renewal. They check-in with their goals to see if they are on track. They commit to achieving new goals for the second half of the year.
- Are you on track with your goals?
- What are your priorities this summer?
- How will you be sure to stay focused on achieving what’s most important?
- What obstacles may prevent you from achieving what you what you want to?
- How can you plan on avoiding them?
- What will you do to gain some enjoyment from this more relaxed time of the year?
As a professionally trained and internationally certified coach, I work with business leaders to help insure their personal and professional success. I offer training, keynote presentations, and seminars to support each individual and the organization as a whole to achieve your goals. Contact me to discuss your needs!
Reality Hits the Road
You may have had some sort of training along the way that helped lead you to your success, organizing, time management, goal-setting, right?
This isn’t about the basic time management skills or stress management 101. Take those principles you’ve learned like, (Covey’s) four quadrants, (Morgenstern’s) categorizing using the A, B, C’s for your task priorities, (Allen’s) integrated system of stress-free productivity and put them to the reality test.
What happens?
Unfortunately, many of these outstanding systems don’t work. Not because they’re not effective systems, but because people don’t fully implement them. Then, they give us and resort to their old ways, sometimes thinking that their situation is hopeless.
For instance, you start your day with a list or framework of what you are going to accomplish. You know what’s most important, you know what decisions need to be made but then, unfortunately, reality hits the road—
…the phone rings endlessly, the system goes down, your boss has a crisis that needs your immediate attention, you have some irate customers, a colleague plants themselves in the corner chair in your office to talk about her personal issues, you get an urgent message from the school that one of your kids has gotten hurt, etc.
The problem isn’t about managing time; it’s about managing all these interruptions. These distract you from accomplishing what you set out to do each day and if you don’t re-prioritize on a dime, ask questions to clarify importance and timeline, focus on what’s most important, delegate, be flexible (to a point), block out distractions, and say “no” when appropriate you may increase your stress, decrease your productivity and feel dissatisfied in what you’re able to accomplish on any given day.
Flip your BUT
Most of us encounter obstacles on the road to achieving our goals. Through several experiences of working with my coaching clients and continuous learning opportunities, I have learned to turn these obstacles into stepping stones. If you’d like to learn how to turn problems and challenges into progress too, read on!
The first and probably most important point is that examining the problem in-depth rarely works because instead of focusing on solutions, you’re caught analyzing or dissecting the problem. Once you clearly identify the problem, increase your ability to make wise decisions by flipping over that obstacle to see what opportunities are available beyond it. If you remain caught up in looking at the problem, it will expand in your reality and you won’t be able to reach your goals. You’ll become either a victim who complains about the problem but doesn’t take any concrete steps to change the situation, or a quitter who gives up on the original goal and chooses a different path to pursue.
So, as you come across obstacles along the path to your goals, reflect on the hidden meaning of what it may be trying to tell you. Often, hidden within the pain of your problem are the seeds of what you really want. Clearly define what you’re hoping to achieve; redefine your goal. Be aware of the “buts” and flip them into “ands”.
Several years ago I had the fortuitous experience to work with some masterful coaches at a coach training school. I learned the technique of “flipping” my but and I’ve used it successfully myself, with audiences and with individual coaching clients. For example, if your goal is to get a new car BUT you can’t afford it, and you flip the “but” to an “AND” you’d be saying something like, “I want a new care AND I want to be able to easily afford the payments”. The sentence started with your goal to get a new car but ended abruptly at the BUT. It’s set up a conflict that cannot be resolved as long as the two things are seen as mutually exclusive.
Here’s another example…”I want to make more money, BUT I don’t want to work 60-80 hours a week”. If you flip the second half of this statement and combine it with the goal in the first part, you’ll end up with a powerful new goal such as, “I want to make more money AND work just 40 hours a week”. When you do this, you stop negating your goals, and start creating exactly what you want.
Do this exercise with one of your current goals. Fill in the blanks as indicated:
I want _____________________________________ BUT _______________________.
(your goal) (the obstacle)
Then, turn the “but” into an “and” below:
I want ______________________________________ AND ______________________.
(your goal) (your goal)
Once you’ve stated your new more powerful goal, start asking yourself questions like, “How can I get a great new car with payments I can afford?” or “How can I increase my salary while working while working less and earning more?” Keep asking these questions and other empowering questions so that you can engage both your conscious and your subconscious minds working towards finding solutions for you. This simple process of flipping the but works similarly when you have conflicting priorities. For example, “I want to attend the professional association meeting this evening but I promised my son that I’d attend his track meet”. When flipping the “but” to an “and”, I searched for an alternative or a solution that would allow me to do both and as a result I planned on dialing into the meeting and listening to the speaker while I watched my son run track.
Often when clients get this far in the process of achieving their goals, they let fear immobilize them. However, now that you’ve developed some empowering questions to move you toward your goal, the key is to get into action. Action is the perfect antidote for fear. As you take steps towards your goal, you can keep using this process as the evil “BUT” monster shows up. The fear of change, even positive change, can keep you stuck or push you back into victim or quitter mode. Feeling like you are stuck, or have no alternatives, dis-empowers you to achieve your goals.
Determine your goal and what’s stopping you so that you can flip that “BUT” to an “AND” and move yourself through empowering questions into deliberate action toward achieving your goals. If you feel you can’t do it alone, contact me at natalie@theprioritypro.com or call 908-281-7098 and I’ll be happy to explore how working with me as your coach can help you achieve your desired goals. With over a decade of experience and tangible results, let me help you attain your goals!
Overcome Guilt
Is guilt getting the best of you???
Guilt…it’s all around us! Wherever I go, I hear someone complaining about “feeling guilty”. For some reason though, this seems to be more widespread with women than with men. Women are guilty for not spending enough time with their children, their girlfriends, their spouse or their extended families, neighbors, and community; their guilty for not providing healthy meals; their guilty for how they look, what they eat, what they do or don’t do; they’re guilty for not exercising; they’re guilty for spending too much; and so much more!
What are we doing to ourselves??
Why are we trying to be everything to everyone…setting unrealistic expectations…and then beating ourselves up for not meeting these standards?
Interestingly, in an article in the June/July issue of Working Mother magazine, they reveal results of a poll they conducted. They found that 57% of respondents feel guilty every day, while 31% feel guilty at least once a week. That’s a lot of guilt!
I used to carry a lot of guilt with me. Fortunately, throughout the years of working with others to help them be more focused and aligned with their top priorities, making a lot of my own mistakes, and maturing enough to be confident about who I am, I’ve been able to make more conscious decisions and feel less guilty. I’ve also learned more healthy strategies such as working out, keeping things in perspective, and simply getting over it. Sometimes, journaling, talking with my coach or a friend I can confide in will also help me through those negative feelings.
If you get caught up in the negative cycle of thoughts commonly associated with guilt, it can be very destructive.
So, I’m really curious, how do you cope with guilt? What causes you guilt? And, to help all of us realize that we’re not alone, what’s your guilt confession? (Tell me yours…and I’ll tell you mine!)
Please comment below! And, if you want to learn more techniques for handling your guilt, visit my site for a free article about the Top Guilt Busters or contact me at natalie@theprioritypro.com to arrange an introductory coaching session. I’ll also be blogging about guilt
8 Days a Week…
As I was walking the dog yesterday in the cold rain, one of my old favorite songs came on my headset, “8 Days a Week”. As I reflected on the lyrics, I thought about preseverence, dedication and commitment.
Although Paul McCartney attributed the inspiration of this song to two different sources, Ringo Starr and later his chaufer, the song and it’s title recognized the feeling of overwork.
So, I began wondering even further. I wonder how many people ever really experienced unwavering dedication, commitment, persistence, or perseverence “8 days a week”. I wonder what it looks like when someone is at that 110%? I wonder if it’s healthy? I wonder if it’s something to strive for?
Then, I refocus on walking the dog and think, gee, “I’m walking the dog ’8 days a week’!” Through rain, snow, frigid temperatures and the heat of summer, I get out there at least once a day and walk my dog for at least 20 minutes, usually more. If I were to bring this same level of dedication to other tasks, other goals, even my clients, what would be different?!?!
I arrived home with a renewed sense of energy. Please share your comments on this post, especially, what you are committed to ’8 days a week’ and read more at my blog post at MyPath, too.
Stay Active
I conducted a workshop yesterday about Staying Active for employees of IEEE. It reminded me of the importance to your health, well-being and positive energy.
Physical activity is so important that it has been added to the US Department of Agriculture’s Food Pyramid. Exercise not only helps you lose weight but it’s key to maintaining a healthy weight and minimizing risks of heart disease, controlling cholesterol levels, preventing bone loss, increasing strength and endurance, and supporting and strengthening your immune system.
If you’re one that either hates to exercise or doesn’t seem to have time, select any types of physical activities that you enjoy doing. Try combining activities into what you’re already doing…park your car in the parking lot at the store? Then, park further away and walk briskly (be sure you’re safe!). Work on the 10th floor in your building?….Take the stairs instead of the elevator!
For those who still say they don’t have time, read my article on “Fitting Fitness into Your Too Busy Schedule”.
Overcome those barriers to staying active by setting small reachable goals and brainstorming ways to better manage your time. If you still need help, contact me!! If you exercise regularly, share your tips in the comments section so that others may learn and adapt what works for you!
Set Value-Based Goals
When working with successful clients, I’ve observed that those who experience the greatest levels of fulfillment and personal satisfaction as they achieve their goals, have aligned their goals with their personal values. If you follow good goal-setting practices in addition to aligning your goals with your values by writing specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and trackable (S-M-A-R-T Goals) action plans, you have a better chance of success and knowing what your true priorities are. You spend the majority of your time on what matters most to you!
The first step in the values-based goal-setting process has to start with making an inventory of your values. Goal-setting is important but unproductive unless it is set on a foundation of your values.
Your values are the intangible aspects of life that make you feel in alignment, complete, on track, and functioning at a high level. Values are the essence of who you are. They are at your core. Although they may change over time, a life that aligns with one’s core values will feel more satisfying, even in the most difficult and challenging times. Values are the things you do that you find very attractive, an emotional state that you feel is very important. As life changes, it is important to re-examine your values. What was important to you at 20 may not be the same thing as when you’re 43.
Some examples of values include adventure, fun, service, creativity, connection, etc. When we consciously design our life to align with our values, life gets immeasurably richer — and easier! Gaining clarity of your values and designing your life around them is a process.
To discover your values, ask yourself:
- What is most important to you in your life?
- Then ask, what is important to you about that? What does this give you?
For example, if you answered that family is most important to you. Dig further to discover the core underlying value by asking what does family provide for you; you may find that family gives you a sense of connection, belonging or community. As you see in this example, the underlying value extends beyond family. Focus on what the value gives you to be sure you’re uncovering the core value because this will help you set your goals around your values.
Once you identify you values, choose activities or goals that are aligned with them. When you set goals to experience more of what you value most, life gets immensely richer – and easier!
Put Down the BlackBerry and Pay Attention
Are you a SuperBusy Mother who can’t put down your BlackBerry??
