How Hungry are YOU?
After posting about needs and hungers last week, a number of people contacted me asking for more information. The important thing to note is that there are both healthy and unhealthy ways to feed your hungers; hungers are not necessarily BAD. Hungers may often masquerade as one of your highest ideals, values or desires. Some of your hungers may be very easily satisfied while others may return routinely, thus, creating a constant theme in your life.
Hungers operate at different intensities. Knowing the level a particular hunger is driving you, will be helpful in finding the most healthful ways of feeding it.
For example, if you are starving/famished you are likely deprived of a key component necessary for life. If your hunger is at this high level of intensity, chances are that you may need professional therapy to intervene because at this level there is a sense of desperation. You must have and will do anything to feed the need.
The next level of intensity, craving, exhibits a high demand and/or begging. At this level, there is still some level of danger that may benefit by professional therapy because one may do many things to get this hunger met, including (but not limited to) sacrificing your own integrity. If you do not feel at a level of choice, seek professional help!
The next three levels are less intense and may be able to be resolved with the help of a trained coach or perhaps on your own through your personal support network. At the Hungry level you must have it, if not immediately than relatively soon; the hunger is somewhat under control but on the verge of taking over your life. The Longing For level is an experience of regular and continual absence of the need because you have grown so accustomed to it not being fed. The danger here is that it is still there, in the background, and can easily intensify once allowed the presence of that need. Lastly, Having an Appetite For, is a healthier place of preference and some choice. It is the beginning of noticing that there is a deficiency. If you were to notice it at this low level and take some immediate action to take care of the feeding the need, then the other, more intense levels are short-circuited.
At the lowest level, a hunger is a mere whisper. You can usually avoid the compulsive, out of control feelings of the more intense levels just by simply recognizing the need and giving it a nugget or morsel to feed on.
Think about the emotional hungers you long for…do you have the need to feel safe, feel valuable?; to be right, to be appreciated?; to receive respect or love? If so, these are just some of the hungers I have worked on with my clients to help them find healthful ways to resolve in their life.
Are You Hungry?
Often when I am working with a client 1-1, we work on identifying their needs. Sometimes because of the nature of needs being something we crave deeply, especially when they are not being met, I refer to them as (emotional) hungers.
A number of years ago when I was teaching at the Coach Certification Institute (an organization which unfortunately no longer exists!), we helped others learn about the importance of hungers and the impact they have on our lives. They were referred to as hungers because they are propelled by a very strong instinctual drive; they operate with an almost primitive intensity and compel us to feed them at all costs, even if what we feed them is not the best nourishment for us. For example, a person who has an unmet need for attention, will do almost anything in order to feed that emotional hunger, similarly to when you come home after working all day but not eating a thing and reaching for whatever is handy to immediately meet that need.
Unmet hungers are dangerous because when they are not recognized and nourished appropriately, they can easily direct all of your available energy and attention towards getting the hunger fed, even if you do not realize it is happening! Hungers can totally distract you from the things you value and the life you truly want to lead. When someones actions are not aligned with what they say they want, there is a huge chance that there is an unfed or mis-fed hunger is operating in their life.
It is important to realize that you may need an outside observer to help you identify which hungers drive you. As a professional coach, I have a variety of tools and resources at my disposal to help my clients first identify and then work to resolve existing hungers. Once hungers are identified, the next important step is to find consistent and nourishing ways to feed them. When your hungers are well fed, you are released from their compulsion.
Stay tuned for more about needs and hungers in the weeks ahead in this Blog and in my free weekly e-newsletter. You can subscribe at http://www.nrgcoaching.com/ or by clicking here.
If You’re So Smart, Why Can’t You….
Elizabeth shares a poignant inspiration that helps recognize how other’s fears and your internalized fears stand in the way of your highest goal achievements. I’ve enjoyed helping my coaching clients and audiences live life to their fullest potential by identifying their limited beliefs, identifying their goals, and creating an action plan to take it one step at a time.
Click here to follow the link to Steve’s Blog and scroll down about half way for the video. It’s a little long but definitely worth listening too!
Create Systems to Simplify Overload
- frequently doing things at the last minute;
- wasting time looking for things;
- forgetting how things were previously done;
- ever feeling overwhelmed or disorganized.
Then, creating systems will help you increase your personal and professional success. Systems provide a foundation that helps you have a regular method or order of doing things. This alone can save an incredible about of time and energy!
An example of a system is your bill paying system. I write the due date on the outside of the envelope of each bill as it arrives and then put them in a organizer in sequential order by my kitchen phone. Twice per month, I go through these and process bill payment. To be sure I don’t forget to record bills set-up on an auto-pay cycle, I write them in my checkbook at the beginning of each month. Others use similar systems that are automated but I’ve found this system works well for me! Design and follow a system that works for you for each process you have, especially those that recur monthly.
To ease the burden of losing things, have a place for everything and consistently return items to their rightful place.
To save yourself from forgetting things, write them down. Keep organized lists of the things you want to be sure to remember and easily recall. Getting things out of your mind helps to keep your mind clear. The key here is to be diligent and consistent rather than writing things on scrap papers, back of the napkin, or other quick places to jot things down. If you have a smart phone, you can leave yourself notes here. If not, carrying a small notebook where all of your reminders are placed, might also prove helpful.
The good news is that anything you do on a regular basis can be turned into a system that will save loads of time!! Begin by just writing down the areas where you can systematize. Next, pick one area to start with and then implement more as time allows. You will be amazed at how much more flow and focus you will have in your day.
Employee Stress
A lot of work-related traps and hazards exist for employees today in addition to the personal stresses outside the office related to family, home, pets, health, finances, or a myriad of other possible areas. There’s no wonder that many employees are highly stressed!
As a leader, it is best if you can help employees know how to make stress work better for them; to transform stress to become a motivator to boost productivity and morale rather than succumb to it and have it effect job performance in negative ways.
When I work with leaders, I help them use positive energy in their leadership. I like to use an approach outlined in Energy Leadership (by Bruce Schneider). I help leaders observe the positive side of their encounters at work and the energy emitted by them and their employees in the work environment.
I believe that a good employee can easily adjust to any given situation and adapt well to the surroundings. Good employees have the ability to establish effective mechanisms that guide them so that work does not pile up. They are able to get everything done smoothly with ease and excellent output.
When employees are ready to shift away from productivity-inhibiting stress and be a valued employee, here are 5 top tips to help develop better focus:
1. Be More Disciplined: Impose your own personal working policy and implement it. Develop a working plan and set deadlines for each task or project given to you by your business leader(s). Be sure you follow the plan and deadlines you set. Learn the right pacing that will work best for you. You are the only one who can realistically control how fast, in which order and how well each task is completed. Focus on one task at a time to avoid mind clutter.
2. Develop routines: There are always other parts of your job or other projects/tasks that you also need to work on. Develop structure or systems that will help you create patterns and routines to get your work done. Set aside time for following phone calls, email, text messages and visitors so that they do not interfere with the task-at-hand. (Try out different patterns until you see what works best for you.)
3. Establish boundaries. Included in your working policy must be the boundaries you set for your co-workers and even loved ones. If co-workers need a little of your time to help them carry out some tasks, its okay to say “no” in a very nice way if you have priority things to do. For family members, set time when they can call you unless it is a life-and-death emergency.
4. Take a break when necessary. Tune in to your body signals and get to know when you need to take a break. When your body is stiffening, your impatience is growing, your concentration in diminishing or your creativity has run out, grab some fruit, a glass of water, take a walk, or do some basic exercises while at your desk to ease the tension from your body and re-energize yourself.
5. Create conducive workspace. Be sure that your workspace is comfortable and provides ease for your work. Have the necessary supplies near your reach and keep your space clutter-free. Learn to ignore the background noises from machines and chatty co-workers that can be disturbing.
Get Into Focus
To help stay more focused, have clearly defined (written) goals and align your work with your goals.
- Start with a clear vision.
- Write your goals in actionable statements.
- Align your daily actions/behaviors specifically to your goals.
- Execute based on your priorities.
Self-Discovery Questions
Yesterday in my e-newsletter and Blog I provided some practical principles and strategies for self renewal. Here are some questions to help you get started. Working with a professional coach will also help you create the structure and accountability to transform yourself and align with your top priorities. Contact Coach Natalie to discuss how coaching can help you.
Life Renewal strategies
Today in my bi-weekly e-newsletter I provided 6 tips and some additional resources for helping you renew your life. Here are some additional principles and strategies that may guide you in your quest to effectively transform your life.
1. Live a balanced life while you pursue your transformational goals. Allow time out for other interests and pleasures. Insure your personal foundation is strong and can persevere.
2. Avoid energy draining people who do not support your transformational goals. These people will convey their doubt and lack of support almost every chance they get. They will cause you to doubt yourself. Instead, surround yourself with like-minded people and people who support you wholeheartedly.
3. Investigate other’s successes. Explore how others have done what you’d like to do. Interview 3-5 very successful people who have achieved a similar transformation in their life. Discover how they did it, what was critical for their success and what suggestions they are willing to offer you. List the qualities that contributed to their success. Select a quality you know you need to develop and look for practical ways to develop that quality every day.
4. Practice daily habits that support your transformation. Determine your top priorities and specific actions you need to take. Eliminate distractions that may cause you to get off track. Create mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being practices you can do regularly that support your desired being. For instance, it you say you want to lose weight, eat sensibly and do physical exercise as part of your regular lifestyle. Take some actions every day toward your desired outcome.
5. Detach from the outcome. Although your personal transformation may be important to you, want it but don’t need it. Find other ways to get your needs met. Realize that regardless of the outcome, you will still be in a different place for having gone through the process. There are valuable learning opportunities inherent in the process of transformation. Transformation is a spiritual experience that cannot often be intellectualized. It is a feeling that cannot be forgotten or captured in words but is with you for the rest of your life.
6. Stay in the present. Enjoy your life today and don’t wait for the transformation to finish before you are happy. No one can predict the future, so, delaying your happiness and personal fulfillment to a future state will not be effective. Bring joy and gratitude into each day. If you aren’t happy with where you are today, you’ll need to learn the lessons involved before you will be able to move on. Acknowledge and reward yourself along the path of your transformation. Celebrate who you are becoming.
Stay tuned tomorrow for some empowering self-discovery questions! Come back often for more tips and strategies!
A New Year
Wow, time has flown since my last blog entry!! I can’t believe that it has been over two months. So, you may be wondering what I have been doing during that time.
Like you, I have been SuperBusy. In an effort to align my skills, talents and interests where I can make a tremendous difference, I have been researching new markets. What I have found is that small business leaders, owners, entrepreneurs have a lot on their plate. Too often, even when they have staff, they have a hard time of letting go of some of their tasks. Sometimes, although they have specific goals each day, they are pulled off task by urgency’s or other important matters that draw their attention.
Therefore, I will continue my research and I will continue working with my current clients to help them focus on their priorities both at work and home. One of my clients recently told me the power of living without the sense of chaos and stress as a result of working with me on a regular basis every other week. Another client had me help her through an important career decision so that she made the decision for the right reasons for her rather than putting others first yet again.
I am poising for growth by working on the infrastructure of my business: the systems and processes while preparing some new programs to meet the growing needs that I have learned about. With so many people focused on the economy, the crises, and the job situation, I intend to focus on the hope and the positives that will bring each individual and this country forward. Negative energy is contagious; what positive thoughts will help you achieve what you want today?
As always, I love to hear from you! Let me know your thoughts, challenges, needs, and opportunities. I am hear to support you growing to your fullest potential!
Yours truly,
Natalie Gahrmann
The Priority Pro
Workforce Reductions
The work place is changing rapidly! Reductions in the workforce are dangerously leading to increased work overload. Fear is permeating the work environment as survivors are concerned about being axed next. Businesses are in danger of failing if leaders are not able to successfully quell employee anxieties, stress, disengagement and burnout.
One of my coaching clients shared with me that it is rumored that her employer will be undergoing major cutbacks in the upcoming months. Although nothing has formally been announced, employees are communicating informally, through the grapevine. They have been told that they will no longer be able to telecommute, as well. The assumption is that they want them all to be at the office location so that it’s easier to lay people off and escort them out.
How organizational change is managed and communicated is essential to operating the ongoing business. The most successful businesses engage employees in the process and keep them informed about the status of things.
Employees naturally fear the unknown and react heavily to speculation and negative rumors. When employees feel threatened, their daily working lives are effected as energy is expended on fear and worry rather than achieving business results. Employees may quickly become paranoid and distrusting. If communication is not done in a timely fashion, by the time employees hear the news, productivity has already taken a downturn.
In contrast, necessary layoffs are understood if clear, honest, compassionate information is conveyed, adequate notice is given, outplacement assistance is provided, and fair severance packages are offered, and if those who are to be retained are assured of the security of their jobs and given assistance in adapting to change.
