Put Down the BlackBerry and Pay Attention
Are you a SuperBusy Mother who can’t put down your BlackBerry??
De-Stress Your Holidays
The following tips can help diminish the stress and avert accompanying low energy levels that may lead to greater susceptibility to illness, feeling blue, fatigue, irritability, and generally a negative holiday experience.
Ruthlessly plan ahead. With Thanksgiving already behind us, Hanukkah in full swing and Christmas and Kwanza just ahead, there’s less time for planning, but continue planning as much as possible. Set specific days on your calendar for activities such as baking, shopping, wrapping, and visiting friends or relatives. Also, be sure to schedule some relaxation time for yourself. The holidays will feel more manageable if you are well-rested.
Determine Your True Priorities. Manage your time rather than letting it manage you. Decide what your priorities are regarding holiday events such as parties, family functions, gift buying, cooking, and all other related activities. Put them in order of priority and give yourself ample time for each thing. DO NOT wait until the last minute unless absolutely necessary, or it will be hard for you to not feel pressure and stress.
Define Your Limits. Learn when & how to say “no” so that when you say it you mean it. You only have so many days and hours to squeeze in family, friends, business get togethers, gift buying, food preparation, gift wrapping, traveling, packing, etc. If you have extra time and the desire to help others, fine. However, make sure you have completed or scheduled what’s most important to you first. Others can cross your boundaries if you allow them. Remember that you don’t have to attend every party or event you’re invited to and if you’re not feeling up to it, you may politely cancel. There’s also no need to take on everything yourself, holidays are a time to enjoy, ask for help when you need it!
Let go of the need for Perfection. For many it is tough to accept your own limitations. Think about what you really have to do, and really want to do. Then, think about what you realistically have adequate time and energy to do. Give up unrealistic expectations. Follow those guidelines and you will perhaps do less and not see as many people, write as many holiday cards, or cook as many cookies or pies, but you will be much less stressed and enjoy the holidays considerably more. Simple concept. Put it on paper and stick to it. Cut yourself some slack!
Pace Yourself. Prepare for events in stages. Save and re-use your recipes and shopping lists from year-to-year because traditional holiday dinners vary little. If you are going to be cooking for a large group on one or more occasions, shop early, and prepare what you can in advance, whether it is the day before or the night before. Many types of casseroles, baked goods and snacks can be made 1-2 days prior and kept fresh in a freezer or refrigerator in sealed containers or their own cooking dish. If you have 100 cards to be addressed and mailed, block off 15-30 minutes every day to work on them starting 2-3 weeks before they need to be mailed. Or, better yet, create a mailing list with labels you use annually. Look for possible gift ideas throughout the year, purchase items on sale and put them away until the holiday comes! This alone can save much time (and money)! Also, you avoid the holiday crowds in the stores and malls. Accomplishing a few tasks at a time rather than doing it all at once can cut your stress level by a large amount. Stay organized and focused!
Use Your Computer To Shop And Send Greetings. Take advantage of the technology sitting on your desk or resting in the palm of your hand. One way to save time and energy is to do some of your shopping for gifts online! Most of the major gift and department stores have a web site, and most also have their catalog or many items in many categories online (with photos often) from which to choose. You can use credit cards using a secure server to protect your card number, or in many cases, you can pay by check, phone order or fax. Just about everything from CD’s and videos to toys, jewelry, clothing, computers and computer accessories, and personal items, are available to order online. Use any of the major search engines to find the store address if you don’t know it. Virtual malls are also available through multiple sources. Additionally, you can use your computer to send virtual holiday cards, pictures, holiday newsletters, etc. to friends, business associates, and family online.
Help Others/Volunteer. This is especially good for the person who lives alone or is all alone as far as family and friends. There are many opportunities for you to create your own sense of “community” by being with people who are also alone and in most instances, far worse off than you physically and financially and perhaps emotionally, as well. You can volunteer your time to work at a food bank or soup kitchen where a holiday dinner is served and prepared; go to a local church or shelter to help feed the homeless and the poor; whatever, just be creative and look for opportunities you can contribute. The more you give, the more you will get back in blessings and good feelings yourself. It may not happen the same day or all at once, but it will happen. When you see that the best gift you can give is yourself, your spirits will rise and be reinforced with a warmth and strength which is better and longer lasting than any gift or holiday party.
Practice Patience & Good Deeds. Keep repeating to yourself when feeling rushed “I have plenty of time.” Hurrying is a struggle against time—that’s unhealthy. Adopt a more relaxed attitude. Let others in front of you in line (especially when they seem distressed), hold the door open for the person exiting with a handful of packages, give up the parking space, drop off something thoughtful to someone special to you just to show your appreciation & thankfulness, find the acts of kindness that make you feel good and do them repeatedly.
Sing, Hum, etc. (it doesn’t have to be out loud). Experience the joys of the holiday season by hearing the music. Let the music help ease your tensions. Some suggestions: ‘Tis the season to be jolly (perfect if you’ve lost your sense of humor); Dashing through the Snow (helps you remember that although not everybody can dash through the snow, movement is absolutely essential to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being); Making a list, checking it twice (Don’t expect your already overloaded mind to remember any more than your way home and the names of your immediate family members); you get the picture!
Exercise!! Yes, that’s right, even before the New Year’s resolutions! Having to park three miles away from any place peopled with shoppers gives you an excellent opportunity to squeeze in a little aerobic activity. Carrying your purchases back to that same location might be considered strength training. It’s amazing how many ways you can work in a workout. However, do more than the credit card wrist twist; the lugging of packages; the raising your arm to mouth and opening wide—do real cardiovascular exercises at least 3 times per week for 20 minutes or more. You’ll be amazed at all the extra energy you create!
Avoid Or Be Very Moderate With Alcohol, Sugary Foods, Caffeine. Most holiday gatherings include the sharing or offering of alcoholic beverages, coffee and cakes, cookies, etc. Since many people use alcohol, caffeine and sweets as a way to combat stress and even depression, it is wise to limit your intake if you wish to limit your stress. These items are only a temporary stress reducer. Keep in mind, the best stress reducers are laughter, listening to and/or singing music, helping others, being loved and sharing love, and for many, association with their church or faith through private or public ceremonies and events.
What you put into it is what you get out of it!
Read an inspirational message about my daughter’s cheer squad and how they came from way behind to win the National Championships. Look for the lessons of what you can apply in your own life to be the BEST!
Click here to read more: Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate: Put in What Matters!
I wasn’t going to go to this competition because I was already booked to speak on both Wednesday and Thursday last week when they attended. However, when we thought on the previous Sunday that my daughter broke her fingers at a friend’s house and I had the anxiety ridden week of Doctor’s visits, Radiologist and the Pediatric Orthopedist to find that she had injured them very badly but they weren’t fractured, I began re-thinking my original decision. The doctor would release her to allow her to perform but practice had to be minimized and her fingers needed to remain taped until the competition.
On top of that, the arrangements I made for her to travel with one of the coaches we’ve known for years had to be altered because the coach was traveling earlier and staying later. She was also bringing her entire family and would not be able to have her in their room. My husband encouraged me to go but I felt I couldn’t because I had to honor my commitments to my clients.
I contacted my clients to check their flexibility with the date and was disappointed to learn that there was no flexibility. So, I had to make a quick decision. I had to look inside and ask myself some very important questions. In the end, I chose to go and to honor my commitment to my daughter as one of my key priorities. I quickly booked a flight and ground transportation and arranged to spend the one night I’d be there in one of the rooms booked for the team. I arranged for an alternate presenter from CIGNA to cover my presentation scheduled for one of their clients. Unfortunately, I couldn’t go for the week though because I had to be back Thursday night to present one of my programs I had contracted to deliver. I traveled from NJ to FL for a quick overnight Tuesday-Wednesday. Being there gave me the opportunity of a lifetime to see my daughter and her team become National champions for the first time in the 44 years of the team’s history. What an experience!! I am so glad I went!!
Focusing on what matters most may not always be easy but it’s important to living a quality life with little or no regrets! If you want help creating the life you are meant to live, defining your key priorities, or achieving your goals, let me know – email natalie@theprioritypro.com.
Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate: Put Gratitude on Your Plate
Gratitude helps you focus on the positives in your life. Read this blog I recently posted at My Path to learn more about the power of gratitude and how to bring more of it into your life.
Set Better Boundaries
At a presentation I did this week for Novartis Consumer Products, I helped the participants recognize where their boundaries are weak or non-existent. Establishing boundaries empowers you to create more self-respect as well as respect from others.
Sometimes boundaries are hard to set with others because we want to be liked, be considered open and friendly, and we fear repercussions. However, people who fail to set and maintain boundaries in their life and work often find that it’s much harder to meet their own needs, and to prevent others from imposing their needs onto them.
Send for a free article: Establishing Boundaries that Honor You by sending an email to natalie@theprioritypro.com. Please indicate Boundaries in the subject line.
Leadership and Communication blunders
Here’s a great post from my colleague, Thomas Lee about worker engagement. He redefines the engagement of a workforce as a culture with a high and ever-rising tide of focus, curiosity, passion and courage. Imagine the impact that it could have on productivity and achievement of goals!!
span style=”color: lightsalmon;”Minding Gaps/span
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The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom
Also found this article at the Glass Hammer site in the Work/Life Balance area. The tips are interesting and insightful so I thought that New and Expectant Moms visiting my Blog might also enjoy the content.
Here’s the link:
The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom
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Too much on Your Plate?
I just finished a 3 part series of my Lunch-and-Learn programs for Daiichi Sankyo. The first program was about Mastering Work-Life Challenges. The second program was about Taming Stress in your Life and the final program, which was yesterday, was my signature program, “There’s too much on my Plate”. The feedback was great and individuals really gained a lot of skills and strategies they can use in their own life.
What stood out for participants was my energy and enthusiasm throughout these programs. I truly enjoy what I do and am thrilled to have the opportunity to make a significant difference in people’s lives.
Participants found the A.I.M. process to be very important and useful. They enoyed having a framework to help them recognize their priorities. They liked my real life practical examples.
This program has been adapted to meet the needs of various types of audiences as well as different lengths of time. If your company or an organization your involved with could benefit from tips to help manage all this busyness, contact me!
Make Conscientious Decisions
We all have both big and small decisions to make on a daily basis. Decision-making is a key role for any manager or leader. However fear of failure and lack of clarity may prohibit some from making timely decisions.
After helping so many coaching clients and audiences focus on their priorities, it was time for me to practice what I preach! After playing a key role on the Board of my professional association, I enthusiastically agreed to continue in the role. However, as the work was concluding for the current year, I was feeling myself slightly burning out, frustrated and resentful. This is a sure indication that my boundaries weren’t being respected. Problem is, it was me who wasn’t respecting my own limits and boundaries! I enjoyed contributing to the organization, gaining recognition and acknowledgement and was so caught up in that that I nearly missed the signs! And, I had an important decision to make.
When you feel yourself feeling burned out, frustrated or resentful, chances are you are experiencing the same signs. It’s important to recognize these symptoms and assess the situation. In this case, I had to make a quick decision because the ballot was set to go out in just a few days. If I had mixed feelings about continuing, I needed to explore this and see what it meant.
I’ve shared the process I used with a couple of my colleagues and they encouraged me to share it with you! So, this is my process…
1. Get absolutely clear about the problem at its root cause. To do this I created some quiet time and space for myself for clear introspection. What I discovered is that I had over-committed to the organization at the expense of my business, family and myself.
2. Evaluate and assess the implications. I explored the implications of continuing as well as the possible consequences of not. Again, I got more clarity and increased my focus about what is most important to me. I did a bit of a cost-benefit analysis using time and energy as my highest cost factors and opportunity missed cost to assess time spent on volunteer work rather than on revenue producing business activities.
3. Test my decision. I wrote out my resignation letter on a notebook page and just left it overnight. In the morning, I checked in with myself and asked: Am I feeling a sense of relief or a sense of remorse?
4. Explore different perspectives. I looked at the problem through a couple of different perspectives. I weighed the pros and cons to me, the organization, and my family.
5. Re-test my decision. Still feeling a bit ambivalent about making the right decision for me and the organization, I typed my resignation letter and just left it again. And, again, I asked myself: Am I feeling a sense of relief or a sense of remorse? I was still feeling an incredible sense of relief at the impending decision to leave the Board and shift my energy to my top priorities in my work, personal and family life.
6. Commit to my choice. As difficult as it was, I knew that it was the right decision for me! With some reluctance, I hit the send button in my email that I typed out earlier. My note was brief. I did not choose to elaborate on the rationale of my decision because I know that it’s important to be succinct and to the point. In situations like this, when one chooses to say “no”, I’ve seen people coaxed into changing their mind because they’ve shared too much information and I’ve also seen people burn bridges with accusations, blame and finger-pointing. Being clear and concise will help you stand by your decision,as it helped me!
There is not just one way of making decisions but understanding and knowing what is most important to you will help guide your approach. For me, being professional, respectful, sensitive and firm were important criterion.
The one big lesson: It’s far better to communicate either in-person or by phone so that there’s a two-way dialogue. Sending an email created some confusion and disconnect that could have easily been avoided.
My mantra…stop me before I volunteer again!
Entrepreneurial Focus
One important thing I have learned that separates successful entrepreneurs from others is their ability to focus while ignoring distractions. If you read the archives in my Blog, you know that this concept is not really new to me.
Entrepreneurs have many traits that bring value to their lifestyle and work style, including the ability to thrive independently, discipline in managing personal freedom, and self-made competitiveness. They are savvy and driven. Yet, by nature, many have a hard time staying focused because they get many new ideas.
This is a never-ending struggle for many entrepreneurs—too many ideas, too little resources! What is a SuperBusy entrepreneur to do??
In an increasingly competitive environment, business growth comes from being great at just one thing at a time. Succeeding really well at one thing you know your customers need will help separate you from even the toughest competition.
Focus on your customer and potential customer and on what you choose to do better than anyone else. Use your business vision as a filter when evaluating and aligning with your core; this minimizes distractions and helps create better results. If an activity is not aligned with your big goals, even if it is a really good idea, table it and move on.
You can table your ideas by giving them a life of their own through:
1. a file or folder on your computer where the idea is stored and built.
2. an idea binder you can carry with you wherever you go and jot ideas as they occur.
3. a record on your BlackBerry.
4. a website or BLOG you create that allow others to comment on it.
5. social networking sites like Twitter, Linked In, Facebook, etc.
