Managing Transitions
Transitions happen throughout our life! It’s important to plan for them whenever possible by anticipating changes and preparing.
This week was a BIG transition for not only me, but for my entire family, including the dog! After running my International Coaching & Training company from my home-based office for nearly 15 years, I went back to work FULL-TIME in the corporate world. Although I will continue to serve my current clients I will selectively decide which future clients I will work with both as a speaker and a coach.
There were lots of ups and downs this week and key lessons both applied from my work and learned as a result of this huge transition! Here’s some of the key highlights. Let me know what you learned from my personal experience…
- previous Wednesday: got formal offer and request to start on Monday
- weekend: stocked up on groceries, caught up on wash, cleaned and straightened the house, planned meals, purchased train ticket, researched parking, gased up car, went clothes shopping, met a friend pre-made kids’ lunches and refrigerated part of it overnight, took dog for an evening walk, prepared singles for parking meter, showered
- Monday: ESTABLISHED NEW ROUTINE!! got up extra early, took dog for half the regular walk, fed him and ate my breakfast then finished kids’ lunches, got dressed while listening in to the news, applied makeup and fixed hair, got kids up, dropped off daughter at bus, trusted son would get to school on time (MISTAKE #1), went to work and met many new people and attended new hire orientation with about 8 others, panicked when I received a call from the school that my son was truant at 10:50, connected with husband and he handled it, ran to catch the 5:17 train home and battled with traffic from the train station to get home to a lovely dinner prepared by my husband, took dog for second half of walk, finished emails I didn’t finish on the train ride, showered, prepared sandwiches for next day, read through materials from work, was in bed by 9!!
- TUESDAY: pretty much same routine but my daughter asked to walk up to the bus stop and I made sure my son was out of bed before I left the house and not just awake. Got to work a little early again! Grabbed a cup of cocoa at DD, met with team members and contributed my ideas at a meeting (which were well received!). Had sessions with scheduled coaching clients and did evening prep again
- WEDNESDAY: same am routine and every seemed to work smoothly till I got to the train stop just a few minutes behind schedule. Did a load of wash before work! Brought my own lunch with me to save from having to go down to the cafeteria again. Through in a load of towels before walking the dog and put them in dryer when I returned. Nearly missed train as I folded bills to get them into the meter. (NOTE TO SELF: HAVE BILLS PRE-FOLDED AND READY TO GO!). Worked on learning new systems and getting acclimated at my new job. Hurried home to attend Grandma’s birthday celebration with the family.
- THURSDAY: had a little trouble waking up because I got to sleep a little later last night. Brought my lunch with me again. Ended up getting the next train (which wasn’t an express) and got to work just 20 minutes later. (NOTE TO SELF: DON’T PANIC, THERE’S ANOTHER TRAIN EVERY 15 MINUTES OR SO; LEAVING EXTRA TIME HAS BEEN A BENEFIT BECAUSE I AM STILL THERE BEFORE 8:30). Hubby had to work late and daughter arranged a ride home from cheer practice beings son was working. Held scheduled coaching sessions in the evening, then completed evening routine.
- FRIDAY: good morning, everything flowed smoothly! Got a lot of things accomplished at work and am running fairly smoothly. Enjoyed some lunch on the company and goodies left over from a training so I didn’t have to buy lunch. Took one train earlier and left a little more time to get down the elevator because I’ve been rushing to the train every day. Got home in time to meet husband and a friend to travel an hour to our daughter’s HS cheering at the FB game. Fortunately, lunch held me over and I wasn’t hungry for dinner. I’ve been stocking up on healthy snacks and water to keep in my office so I had plenty choices. Hit a deer on the way home from the game. Are you kidding….what a way to end my first week back on the corporate job! We’re ok but the car and the deer didn’t quite make it!
- SATURDAY: Got to the gym for a good solid workout! Brought my daughter to cheer practice. Started cleaning and straightening. Did more wash. (WHERE DOES IT ALL COME FROM??)
So, I’m proud to say that I got through my week! Without my husband stepping up to prepare dinners and pick up what he saw I wasn’t able to get done, it would have been much more difficult. So, thank Goodness I have such a wonderful husband. I miss dinners with the family all together and miss communicating with each other more than anything.
Preparing, planning, organizing, communicating and staying calm were the big winners this week!!
Redesign the Job you Hate
Being unhappy at work can be very de-motivating and depressing, but with our current economy, where good jobs can be hard to find, quitting is often not an option. Rather than throwing in the towel, you can change the way you think about your work to make it more meaningful. Even subtle change can lead to significant workplace transformations. Use these remedies for job dissatisfaction to make the situation more pleasant. If you want more detailed explanations, follow this link to my full blog at Experis/Manpower Group.
1. Take on a positive outlook.
2. Rethink your current job.
3. Plan your day differently.
4. Alter your work environment.
5. Build relationships.
6. Reward yourself.
7. Take a lunch break.
8. Know your motivation for staying.
9. Have goals, dreams and aspirations.
10. Tap into company resources.
11. Seek professional help.
12. Look into transferring departments or locations.
Consider the alternatives before you make a decision to leave. Finding a new job isn’t always easy. If you can find ways to improve your current situations, it’s usually worth pursuing it. When all else fails, prepare for other employment by setting goals, gaining clarity around what you want and don’t want in your next position, updating your resume, reviving and building your network, and polishing your skills. By setting goals you identify a finish line, and by meeting the goals on a daily, weekly and monthly basis you give yourself something to feel good about.
Rejuvenate and Relax!
There is an art to taking vacation and getting the rest and rejuvenation you need. Here are some important tips posted in my blog at MyPath that will help you prevent work from spilling over into your personal time.
Tips for Working from a Home-Based Office
The current issue of Treasure Coast Parenting features an article I wrote about the “Top 10 Tips for Working from a Home-Based Office” . Read this article on page 36-37 of the magazine to learn how you can be productive and effective when working at home.
http://www.tcparenting.com/0611%20-%20June%20Webzine/index.html
10 Tips for Balancing Work & Family Life
Read this article in the May issue of Treasure Coast Parenting to learn tips you can use in your own life to gain more balance.
http://www.tcparenting.com/0511%20-%20May%20Webzine/index.html
Prevent Burnout
Got Guilt?
It’s amazing how quickly we can feel guilty, even for the most meaningless things in our lives. Many of my clients struggle with guilt but its purpose it simply to let us know when we’ve done something wrong, to help us develop a better sense of our behavior and how it affects ourselves and others. Guilt prompts us to re-examine our behavior so that we don’t end up making the same mistake twice. This article in Treasure Coast Parenting magazine offers 10 tips for busting the guilt. Hope it helps!
http://www.tcparenting.com/0411%20-%20April%20Webzine/index.html
see page 48-49
Invisible Mom
Here’s an excerpt from an email I received from a friend. When I researched to find the original source, I came upon Nicole Johnson .
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way
one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be
taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping
the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see
me at all. I’m invisible.. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of
hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock
to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is
the Disney Channel ?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’Some days I’m a crystal ball; ‘Where’s my other sock?, Where’s my phone?,
What’s for dinner?’I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes
that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared
into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going,
she’s gone!?One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a
friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she
was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there,
looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to
compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she
turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you
this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn’t exactly
sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: ‘With admiration
for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’In the days ahead I would read – no, devoured – the book. And I would
discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I
could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we
have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for
a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and
expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their
faith that the eyes of God saw everything.A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird
on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you
spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by
the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, ‘Because God
sees.’I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost
as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you. I see the sacrifices you
make every day, even when no one around you does.No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve
baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to
notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see
right now what it will become.I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of
the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work
on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went
so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime
because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s
bringing home from college for Thanksgiving , ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the
morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3
hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a
monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there
is anything more to say to his friend, he’d say, ‘You’re gonna love it
there…’As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re
doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel,
not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the
world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.
Here’s the YOU TUBE Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YU0aNAHXP0
Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know… I just did.
Re-Orient your Life Around Values
I am currently working with a successful entrepreneur on establishing Core Values for his Corporation. In doing so, I am reminded of the importance of recognizing your most important values and living your life each and every day based on these ‘rules’. Whether for your business, or for your life, clearly identifying your core values will help you achieve what’s most meaningful with the highest degree of integrity, pride and satisfaction.
Your life can be deeply enhanced when you intertwine your values into your overall framework for life. Aligning your work and life around your personal values will help you achieve the greatest levels of success. Your values help you establish more congruency in your life and increase your capacity for having an abundance of joy and happiness.
Your values are:
- what you are naturally inclined or drawn toward;
- what you are eager to do;
- what brings you fulfillment;
- what you do with little effort;
- your strongest beliefs;
- your internal motivator;
- the only sustainable basis for goal-setting;
- and, your heart and soul
Values are the core of who you are—not who you would like to be or who you think you should be. You are your values—they make up who you are, what you want and how you live. Like you mature, change and grow your values may also change over time. By gaining a better understanding of your values today you can begin incorporating your values into your life and creating a strong foundation which will be able to support you in every other way—including how you bring yourself to your work.
Your values represent your unique and individual essence. When you are engaged in activities aligned with your values, you feel most like yourself—well, connected, excited, glowing and effortless. However, when what you are doing conflicts with what is truly important to you, feelings of unhappiness, dissatisfaction, frustration and stress occur most often because your values are conflicting with your lifestyle and choices.
Values are linked very closely with your integrity. Integrity is when your external behaviors are closely aligned with your inner values; when your actions match your inner belief system, you are operating in integrity and using your values to drive your choices in life.
Your values run deep within you and are often disguised when danger is sensed. Danger in this case is anything that may interfere with or intrude on your values such as: needs, obligations, roles, problems, should’s , tolerations, stress, money, guilt, addictions or adrenaline.
The process of clarifying values is often difficult to do on your own. You can extract your core values based on what is most important to you, your actions, and the things you choose to do and not do in your life. The activities you engage in are usually an observable demonstration of your values; sometimes, though, your values are neglected so it’s harder to identify them. Working with the services of a professional coach, can help you with the process.
For more information, and some tips to help you identify your values, read the ”Live by Your Values” article on my website or contact me to arrange an introductory coaching session. http://www.theprioritypro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/Article-Live-by-your-Values-MBM-7-03.pdf
Greeting Card Saga
Years ago when I became a mom for the first time it seemed everyone wanted to hear about the newest addition to our family and see pictures of him (so I thought!!!). So, I began writing and sending an annual holiday newsletter with pictures, letters and photos that evolved over the years to include separate columns for every member of the family (with my kids eventually writing their own with much coaxing!).
Sending out these newsletters was on the top of the list of priorities for a dozen years that I could remember. The planning would begin months in advance. The list of recipients grew to include not only close friends and family but business colleagues, associates and clients. Most people expressed joy in receiving it and looked forward to getting their annual update and greetings from us. Several joked about how I must have had too much free time or that I falesly believed that people really cared about what my kids were doing, how they were doing at school and what my husband and I were doing in our careers and personal lives.
But after carefully crafting the newsletter for over a decade, I finally came to the difficult conclusion that it wasn’t a priority anymore. That year, I reluctantly sent out one of those picture cards of the family. The next year, another photo greeting card. The following year, a store-bought card with a hand-written note and a separate family photo. Then, last year, a card with no photo…just a signature!
This year, I wasn’t even going to send out cards! I reflected on how important cards (and newsletters) were to me over the years and how they lost their importance in the busyness of life. I chose a reactive method of sending out holiday greetings in response to those I received and didn’t send any out in addition.
So, as the saga continues, next year as my eldest finishes high school and my youngest begins, I will again revisit the holiday greeting card ritual to evalutate the importance of the tradition, possible alternatives, and then decide what 2012 brings.
What holiday traditions are most important to you?
Have these holiday traditions held the same level of importance over the years? If not, how have they changed?
What new traditions have you put in place in recent years?
What traditions have you eliminated?
I’d love to hear your thoughts!! Share your thoughts and answers to these questions in the comments section below. And…don’t be checking your mailbox for a holiday greeting card from me this year, unless you sent me one first!
Happy Holidays to all and to all a healthy and successful New Year!
