Set Value-Based Goals
When working with successful clients, I’ve observed that those who experience the greatest levels of fulfillment and personal satisfaction as they achieve their goals, have aligned their goals with their personal values. If you follow good goal-setting practices in addition to aligning your goals with your values by writing specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and trackable (S-M-A-R-T Goals) action plans, you have a better chance of success and knowing what your true priorities are. You spend the majority of your time on what matters most to you!
The first step in the values-based goal-setting process has to start with making an inventory of your values. Goal-setting is important but unproductive unless it is set on a foundation of your values.
Your values are the intangible aspects of life that make you feel in alignment, complete, on track, and functioning at a high level. Values are the essence of who you are. They are at your core. Although they may change over time, a life that aligns with one’s core values will feel more satisfying, even in the most difficult and challenging times. Values are the things you do that you find very attractive, an emotional state that you feel is very important. As life changes, it is important to re-examine your values. What was important to you at 20 may not be the same thing as when you’re 43.
Some examples of values include adventure, fun, service, creativity, connection, etc. When we consciously design our life to align with our values, life gets immeasurably richer — and easier! Gaining clarity of your values and designing your life around them is a process.
To discover your values, ask yourself:
- What is most important to you in your life?
- Then ask, what is important to you about that? What does this give you?
For example, if you answered that family is most important to you. Dig further to discover the core underlying value by asking what does family provide for you; you may find that family gives you a sense of connection, belonging or community. As you see in this example, the underlying value extends beyond family. Focus on what the value gives you to be sure you’re uncovering the core value because this will help you set your goals around your values.
Once you identify you values, choose activities or goals that are aligned with them. When you set goals to experience more of what you value most, life gets immensely richer – and easier!
Put Down the BlackBerry and Pay Attention
Are you a SuperBusy Mother who can’t put down your BlackBerry??
Be a Super Hero!
I got to be a super hero on Friday and for those fleeting hours, I’ve got to admit, I really enjoyed it!
My son has been racing motocross for the past 7-8 years. I rarely go because I get so nervous and stressed out watching him ride. After his last racing accident (early spring)he had 4 broken bones in his right foot. My husband and I swore he’d never want to resume racing. However, he followed every key race and tracked the progress of his racing buddies and couldn’t wait to get back into it. He’s determined and tenacious!
So, I bravely offered to take him riding on the practice track all by myself on Friday. This meant that we had to load and unload the bikes ourselves, pack the gear, drive to the track, sign-up and unload the truck. Driving the truck used to be a challenge but now that we picked up a newer pick-up truck, it’s easier for me to drive it! Fortunately, my son is now 15, and although a bit small for his age, he was able to handle the most difficult tasks with just a bit of my assistance (getting the bikes in and out of the bed of the truck).
The day went well! He rode hard. He rode fast. He didn’t get hurt. Nothing happened to the bikes. He got in a full practice in just a few hours because it wasn’t very crowded at the track.
I was way out of my comfort zone the entire day but in my son’s eyes, I was his super-hero and the best mom in the world! We had a great time together! He’s already looking forward to the NEXT time (yikes!). I’m certainly more confident that I can handle this on my own and willing to do it again. (Heck, being super mom is clearly worth it, right!)
I never held myself capable of doing this on my own. But by shifting my belief and asking my husband how I could best do this on my own, I had the opportunity to shine big in my son’s eyes.
In your own life, is there a belief holding you back from experiencing something? Is there an opportunity right there in front of you for you to be a super-hero in your son or daughter’s eyes? If so, what are you waiting for…push through and be a super-hero! From one darn proud super-hero…”It is definitely worth it!!”
Make Romance a Priority
Romance, in these superbusy(tm) times may need to be a planned event rather than a spontaneous happening. Either planned or spontaneous, here are some simple romantic ideas for little or no money:
1. Write a love note by email, on the mirror, on the kitchen table, etc.
2. Send a greeting card (email or regular mail).
3. Give a warm embracing hug.
4. Give a passionate affectionate kiss.
5. Meet for lunch.
6. Picnic on your living room floor.
7. Kiss hello, kiss goodbye.
8. Take a bubble bath or shower together.
9. Make focused time for each other.
10. And, talk to each other…communicate regularly!
Work? Life? Must we Choose?
Business Week ran an article on June 28, 2007 titled, “WORK? LIFE? MUST WE CHOOSE?”
In essence, this article was about a speech Mike Bloomberg made as he spoke to graduates of City University of the NY College of Staten Island. Mike told these graduates and their familes that…”If you’re the first one in in the morning and the last one to leave at night and you take fewer vacation days and never take a sick day, you will do better than the people who don’t do that. It is very simple.” And he joshingly admitted that the parenting thing wasn’t his bag. He said “I’ve managed to raise two daughters who have turned out very well, thanks to their mother, no thanks to me. …”
In my opinion, this success is geared toward financial gain and more about workaholism than work-life balance. Of course, I’m not earning anywhere near Bloomberg’s earnings, yet I can proudly say that both my husband and I are actively involved in raising our children and doing meaningful work that we mostly enjoy. We live a comfortable life and have a pretty solid marriage.
So, for people like Michael Bloomberg, their strong work ethics combined with innate abilities and passion, are really their idea of success. Even when many of them don’t have to work that hard anymore because they have more money than they and their great- great-grandchildren can spend, they continue working long hours because work gives them an incredible sense of balance and joy.
Bottom line, it’s all about using what you’ve got to leverage the success you define you want. Make choices based on what’s most important to you both today and in your future! Realize that many of the financially successful pay a big price of divorce and lonliness because they lack true meaningful relationships.
That’s my 2 cents worth….do I get change?
Sincerely yours,
Coach Natalie Gahrmann
natalie@nrgcoaching.com
End Sleep Deprivation in your Super Busy Life
Super Busy Parents too often sacrifice sleep due to their busy lifestyle. Over time, this can result in sleep disorders. According to the Institute of Medicine, up to 75% of people with certain sleep disorders go undiagnosed. Many more are misdiagnosed. Fact is, seven out of every ten American women say they frequently experience a sleep problem.
I’ve read that women are more likely than men to experience sleep problems. Why??
Women tend to be the nurturers of their family and have more family responsibilities. Plus biological factors like menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause contribute to the gap between men and women who experience sleep disorders.
Many symptoms may be signs of more serious sleep disorders. If you suspect you may be suffering from a sleep disorder, it is important to seek help from your doctor or a trained specialist. Watch for dizziness, headaches, lethargy, forgetfulness, and other key symptoms.
Dr. Carol Ash, DO, Medical Director of the Sleep for Life center in Hillsborough, NJ is frequently a guest expert on local and national media speaking about good sleep habits. Her sleep tips for someone with a behavioral type of disorder include:
- Maintain a regular bedtime and wake-up time, even on the weekends.
- Establish a restful bedtime routine, like soaking in a hot tub, listening to soothing music or reading a book.
- If you wake up in the middle of the night, don’t watch the clock or toss and turn–try sitting and reading in another room. When you begin to feel sleepy, go back to bed.
- If you have racing thoughts at night, write them down and reflect on them in the morning.
- Avoid eating and exercising up to three hours before bedtime. Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol close to bedtime.
These tips may not be easy to implement in your super busy life. But, if you are committed to making changes and getting more restful sleep, you need to take action and start making changes now!
Pleasant dreams!!
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie Gahrmann
Meal Planning for Super Busy Parents
Improving your eating habits needn’t take more time from your super busy schedule. Fact is, most of you are eating anyway (I hope!). So, why not make healthier choices about what you eat, when you eat, and how much you eat.
In a follow-up article I found related to the exclusive interview President Bush had with Hannah Storm on CBS last week, our President commented about how young he feels because he commits to rigorous exercise. Bush says that people who claim they’re too busy to exercise regularly really just haven’t chosen exercise as one of their priorities. He said, “I don’t buy that. I think you set priorities in life, and if exercise is one of your priorities, then you do it.”
Bush points out that a fitness culture “starts with families” and said “I exercise a lot because it’s good for my mind and it’s good for my soul.”
Plan your meals in advance so that you make smart choices for yourself and your family. Prepare fresh fruits and vegetables, when possible, but when a quick trip to the produce aisle is just too much in your already too busy schedule, have frozen varieties on hand for a quick delicious and nutritious meal. Avoid the trap of fast food for convenience and save it for just the special treats. But, when it’s the last remaining option (which sometimes happens in super busy lives!!), choose the healthiest options on the menu and avoid extra sauces and condiments that tend to add hollow calories.
Here’s to healthy eating!
Best regards,
Coach Natalie Gahrmann
Priorities even a President makes time for!!
I caught the tail-end of an interview on CBS Early Morning show the other day with Hannah Storm interviewing President Bush. Bush, being a super busy person as the President of the United States, had emphatically managed to incorporate fitness and nutrition into his life. So, I wonder what will it take for everyone else to stop making excuses?
President Bush said, “I think that you set priorities in life. And if exercise is one of your priorities, you’ll figure out time to do it.” We all have different priorities…our family, our work, our education, our spiritual growth, etc. Knowing your priorities will help you fully commit to living them.
I wonder why self-care wouldn’t be a priority to everyone. Without this, we really can’t be our best in any role in our life. We compromise our health and our well-being when we don’t make it a top priority.
Read the full story about President Bush’s interview and his commitment to fitness here.
Be the example for your family that exercise is not only good for them, but essential to their overall performance and well-being. Stop making excuses but make priorities instead!
Sincerely,
Coach Natalie Gahrmann
What’s on Your Plate?
I’ve taken 3 months off from Blogging because I had too much on my plate. Now that things are winding down with the extra commitments I’ve taken on due to my daughter getting a role in a play, my son starting baseball season, and the regular routine of work and life commitments, I’ve re-committed to regular weekly or bi-weekly blogging to support super busy people and delivery of my e-newsletter twice monthly.
Ironically, during March, a colleague had advised me to use my expertise to develop a timely program specifically for Administrative Professionals during Administrative Professionals week the end of April. I came up with a program called “There’s Too Much on My Plate” that helps super busy professionals clearly acknowledge everything on their plate and begin taking ownership and control for everything there is to manage at work and home.
I had the pleasure of visiting American Standard and delivering a keynote to inspire better control of the balancing act. And, now, I’m working with teams at several key corporations to deliver customized programs to meet the needs of their super busy administrative professionals.
One thing I learned first-hand from the last few months is the absolute importance of staying very focused on the most important things and declining other requests and opportunities. Even when there was time to attend another meeting or networking event in the evening, I found that by pushing and having too much on my plate, I was exhausted and wasn’t able to apply the focus and energy to those things that mattered most.
When deciding what’s most important, realize that it may not be forever, but it’s for now. My daughter’s had rehearsal for her play usually 3 days a week for 2-4 hours at a time almost an hour from home. I often brought work with me to do while I waited, dialed into a conference call for my own professional development, or shopped in the local area. It was a great experience for her but the lesson for me, put more boundaries around my time, seek more help, and accept the help that’s offered. And, importantly, negotiate expectations, communicate fully, and be fully present where ever I am.
As my program for “There’s Too much on My Plate” continues to evolve, I will have many experiences to share from participants and from my own experiences. Stay tuned!!
Sincerely yours,
Coach Natalie Gahrmann
natalie@nrgcoaching.com
Women in Leadership
I read an article in the Star Ledger last week (Thursday, Feb. 22) titled “Ms.-Fortune for women in leadership: Slip from long-term trend; state’s top ranks suffer loss”.
The trend I read about in the article regarding the decreasing number of women at top leadership positions is disappointing. Although this wasn’t something that I ever wanted, I know many powerful and bright corporate women who could fill corporate officer and board director positions. Fact is, we even have our first women (a mother!!) running for the Presidency and a somewhat slow growing number of women in government leadership positions at the local, state, and national levels.
However, in the Fortune 500 companies the numbers of women in officer positions shrank from 16.4 % in 2005 to 15.6 % in 2006. And, where I live (NJ), we can no longer claim a single one of the 23 women CEOs in the Fortune 1000 since Lucent’s Patricia Russo transferred to Paris to retain her job with France’s Alcatel when the companies merged.
My experience working with women in the highest leadership positions reveals the ambivalence these women sometimes face between wanting to climb the corporate ladder and wanting to be with their kids more. The demands of higher level positions are usually heavy and difficult for those with a family. Many of the women in the highest leadership positions have partners who stay home with the kids and/or full-time live-in nannies who handle much of the childcare and household responsibilities.
Women are the ones who have the kids and are genetically set to do most of the nurturing. Women leaders tend to make many sacrifices. “Work/life balance is a big challenge; we are the ones who have the kids, and that’s not going to change. Corporate careers are complex and women have a lot of choices, and that’s a good thing; if we want more women to stay
More and more women are opting out of corporate America and starting their own business where they can set their own path and achieve more of what they want when they want it!
I’m curious, what are your thoughts about the decline in top leadership positions by women? Would this be something you’d want? Email me to share your views.
Yours,
Coach Natalie Gahrmann
natalie@nrgcoaching.com
