How Hungry are YOU?
After posting about needs and hungers last week, a number of people contacted me asking for more information. The important thing to note is that there are both healthy and unhealthy ways to feed your hungers; hungers are not necessarily BAD. Hungers may often masquerade as one of your highest ideals, values or desires. Some of your hungers may be very easily satisfied while others may return routinely, thus, creating a constant theme in your life.
Hungers operate at different intensities. Knowing the level a particular hunger is driving you, will be helpful in finding the most healthful ways of feeding it.
For example, if you are starving/famished you are likely deprived of a key component necessary for life. If your hunger is at this high level of intensity, chances are that you may need professional therapy to intervene because at this level there is a sense of desperation. You must have and will do anything to feed the need.
The next level of intensity, craving, exhibits a high demand and/or begging. At this level, there is still some level of danger that may benefit by professional therapy because one may do many things to get this hunger met, including (but not limited to) sacrificing your own integrity. If you do not feel at a level of choice, seek professional help!
The next three levels are less intense and may be able to be resolved with the help of a trained coach or perhaps on your own through your personal support network. At the Hungry level you must have it, if not immediately than relatively soon; the hunger is somewhat under control but on the verge of taking over your life. The Longing For level is an experience of regular and continual absence of the need because you have grown so accustomed to it not being fed. The danger here is that it is still there, in the background, and can easily intensify once allowed the presence of that need. Lastly, Having an Appetite For, is a healthier place of preference and some choice. It is the beginning of noticing that there is a deficiency. If you were to notice it at this low level and take some immediate action to take care of the feeding the need, then the other, more intense levels are short-circuited.
At the lowest level, a hunger is a mere whisper. You can usually avoid the compulsive, out of control feelings of the more intense levels just by simply recognizing the need and giving it a nugget or morsel to feed on.
Think about the emotional hungers you long for…do you have the need to feel safe, feel valuable?; to be right, to be appreciated?; to receive respect or love? If so, these are just some of the hungers I have worked on with my clients to help them find healthful ways to resolve in their life.
Are You Hungry?
Often when I am working with a client 1-1, we work on identifying their needs. Sometimes because of the nature of needs being something we crave deeply, especially when they are not being met, I refer to them as (emotional) hungers.
A number of years ago when I was teaching at the Coach Certification Institute (an organization which unfortunately no longer exists!), we helped others learn about the importance of hungers and the impact they have on our lives. They were referred to as hungers because they are propelled by a very strong instinctual drive; they operate with an almost primitive intensity and compel us to feed them at all costs, even if what we feed them is not the best nourishment for us. For example, a person who has an unmet need for attention, will do almost anything in order to feed that emotional hunger, similarly to when you come home after working all day but not eating a thing and reaching for whatever is handy to immediately meet that need.
Unmet hungers are dangerous because when they are not recognized and nourished appropriately, they can easily direct all of your available energy and attention towards getting the hunger fed, even if you do not realize it is happening! Hungers can totally distract you from the things you value and the life you truly want to lead. When someones actions are not aligned with what they say they want, there is a huge chance that there is an unfed or mis-fed hunger is operating in their life.
It is important to realize that you may need an outside observer to help you identify which hungers drive you. As a professional coach, I have a variety of tools and resources at my disposal to help my clients first identify and then work to resolve existing hungers. Once hungers are identified, the next important step is to find consistent and nourishing ways to feed them. When your hungers are well fed, you are released from their compulsion.
Stay tuned for more about needs and hungers in the weeks ahead in this Blog and in my free weekly e-newsletter. You can subscribe at http://www.nrgcoaching.com/ or by clicking here.
Keep things SIMPLE!
After listening with intense interest and observing the glazed eyes and confusing looks of many of my classmates, I asked if I could share a simple approach to clearly understanding these terms and how to design them. The classmates loved it!
I shared:
Vision: is what you see for your future. It’s usually 3-5 years out (YOUR EYES)
Mission: is what you do (YOUR HANDS)
Purpose: is why you do it (YOUR HEART)
See if this helps you design these strategic planning tools for your work and personal life. I’d love to hear from you about how you design and execute yours!
If You’re So Smart, Why Can’t You….
Elizabeth shares a poignant inspiration that helps recognize how other’s fears and your internalized fears stand in the way of your highest goal achievements. I’ve enjoyed helping my coaching clients and audiences live life to their fullest potential by identifying their limited beliefs, identifying their goals, and creating an action plan to take it one step at a time.
Click here to follow the link to Steve’s Blog and scroll down about half way for the video. It’s a little long but definitely worth listening too!
Create Systems to Simplify Overload
- frequently doing things at the last minute;
- wasting time looking for things;
- forgetting how things were previously done;
- ever feeling overwhelmed or disorganized.
Then, creating systems will help you increase your personal and professional success. Systems provide a foundation that helps you have a regular method or order of doing things. This alone can save an incredible about of time and energy!
An example of a system is your bill paying system. I write the due date on the outside of the envelope of each bill as it arrives and then put them in a organizer in sequential order by my kitchen phone. Twice per month, I go through these and process bill payment. To be sure I don’t forget to record bills set-up on an auto-pay cycle, I write them in my checkbook at the beginning of each month. Others use similar systems that are automated but I’ve found this system works well for me! Design and follow a system that works for you for each process you have, especially those that recur monthly.
To ease the burden of losing things, have a place for everything and consistently return items to their rightful place.
To save yourself from forgetting things, write them down. Keep organized lists of the things you want to be sure to remember and easily recall. Getting things out of your mind helps to keep your mind clear. The key here is to be diligent and consistent rather than writing things on scrap papers, back of the napkin, or other quick places to jot things down. If you have a smart phone, you can leave yourself notes here. If not, carrying a small notebook where all of your reminders are placed, might also prove helpful.
The good news is that anything you do on a regular basis can be turned into a system that will save loads of time!! Begin by just writing down the areas where you can systematize. Next, pick one area to start with and then implement more as time allows. You will be amazed at how much more flow and focus you will have in your day.
Employee Stress
A lot of work-related traps and hazards exist for employees today in addition to the personal stresses outside the office related to family, home, pets, health, finances, or a myriad of other possible areas. There’s no wonder that many employees are highly stressed!
As a leader, it is best if you can help employees know how to make stress work better for them; to transform stress to become a motivator to boost productivity and morale rather than succumb to it and have it effect job performance in negative ways.
When I work with leaders, I help them use positive energy in their leadership. I like to use an approach outlined in Energy Leadership (by Bruce Schneider). I help leaders observe the positive side of their encounters at work and the energy emitted by them and their employees in the work environment.
I believe that a good employee can easily adjust to any given situation and adapt well to the surroundings. Good employees have the ability to establish effective mechanisms that guide them so that work does not pile up. They are able to get everything done smoothly with ease and excellent output.
When employees are ready to shift away from productivity-inhibiting stress and be a valued employee, here are 5 top tips to help develop better focus:
1. Be More Disciplined: Impose your own personal working policy and implement it. Develop a working plan and set deadlines for each task or project given to you by your business leader(s). Be sure you follow the plan and deadlines you set. Learn the right pacing that will work best for you. You are the only one who can realistically control how fast, in which order and how well each task is completed. Focus on one task at a time to avoid mind clutter.
2. Develop routines: There are always other parts of your job or other projects/tasks that you also need to work on. Develop structure or systems that will help you create patterns and routines to get your work done. Set aside time for following phone calls, email, text messages and visitors so that they do not interfere with the task-at-hand. (Try out different patterns until you see what works best for you.)
3. Establish boundaries. Included in your working policy must be the boundaries you set for your co-workers and even loved ones. If co-workers need a little of your time to help them carry out some tasks, its okay to say “no” in a very nice way if you have priority things to do. For family members, set time when they can call you unless it is a life-and-death emergency.
4. Take a break when necessary. Tune in to your body signals and get to know when you need to take a break. When your body is stiffening, your impatience is growing, your concentration in diminishing or your creativity has run out, grab some fruit, a glass of water, take a walk, or do some basic exercises while at your desk to ease the tension from your body and re-energize yourself.
5. Create conducive workspace. Be sure that your workspace is comfortable and provides ease for your work. Have the necessary supplies near your reach and keep your space clutter-free. Learn to ignore the background noises from machines and chatty co-workers that can be disturbing.
The Multitasking Temptation Revisited
Multiitasking has been proven to kill your productivity. Yet, for some it’s a lifestyle and others an expectation. Others see it as a strength.
People are terrible at doing more than one thing at a time, even though many of us are fooled to believe that we are actually good at it. When we multitask, two things occur:
1. We get less done.
2. The quality of what we do is lower.
There’s a recommencement cost of at least several seconds every time you get back to a task that got interrupted. Each time you switch to some other task you risk getting hit with more resumption costs. This loss time adds up and multiplies as you continue getting distracted with interruptions throughout the day.
It is almost inevitable that each individual task will be slower and of lower quality when you are using multitasking as a methodology to try to accomplish more. Likewise, it is acutally faster to do one thing at a time instead of trying to multitask.
Another problem with multitasking is that we are more inclined to make more mistakes while doing multiple tasks simultaneously, especially those that require your full attention or those that are unrelated. As a result, the quality of our work declines.
In a 2004 study at MIT, researchers found (by doing MRI scans on brains of test subjects) that it’s impossible for the brain to think about more than one thing at a time.
Multitasking is an incredible temptation. As a business owner, I struggle with it myself from time-to-time. When I am not fully engaged in what I am doing I often check email frequently and begin responding to incoming messages without completing articles I am writing or blog entries. Fortunately, when I am on the phone with a coaching client, I am not multitasking! However, often when I am participating in a teleconference call or meeting I will see (or sense) others checking their email or messages.
Get Into Focus
To help stay more focused, have clearly defined (written) goals and align your work with your goals.
- Start with a clear vision.
- Write your goals in actionable statements.
- Align your daily actions/behaviors specifically to your goals.
- Execute based on your priorities.
Make Romance a Priority
Romance, in these superbusy(tm) times may need to be a planned event rather than a spontaneous happening. Either planned or spontaneous, here are some simple romantic ideas for little or no money:
1. Write a love note by email, on the mirror, on the kitchen table, etc.
2. Send a greeting card (email or regular mail).
3. Give a warm embracing hug.
4. Give a passionate affectionate kiss.
5. Meet for lunch.
6. Picnic on your living room floor.
7. Kiss hello, kiss goodbye.
8. Take a bubble bath or shower together.
9. Make focused time for each other.
10. And, talk to each other…communicate regularly!
Self-Discovery Questions
Yesterday in my e-newsletter and Blog I provided some practical principles and strategies for self renewal. Here are some questions to help you get started. Working with a professional coach will also help you create the structure and accountability to transform yourself and align with your top priorities. Contact Coach Natalie to discuss how coaching can help you.
