Habits

A client of mine highly recommended “Mastering Rockefeller Habits“. I just placed my order for it and am looking forward to getting it in a couple of days. We will work together with his leadership team to define their core values, vision, mission and key strategies. This is a key part of strategic planning to help exponentially grow a business.

Restore Balance

With an added flurry of activities to complete in preparation for the holiday season, it’s vitally important that you continually and consciously restore your sense of balance.

Here are a few places to start:

• Set Realistic Goals – Establish goals for yourself based on your key priorities. For example, if being physically fit is highly important to you, then create an exercise plan and schedule time daily to honor it. Be sure your goals are positively-based (e.g., to be strong and healthy) vs. negatively-based (e.g., to lose 30 pounts). Avoid being all things to all people!
• Minimize the Clutter  – Unfortunately, most of us have clutter some where in our lives, either in our office, our car, at home, or in our head!  Manage that clutter so that it doesn’t accumulate. Filter what comes in to your spaces.  Being in a clean, clutter-free zone will provide you with a sense of peace and the feeling of having some control over at least part of your environment. 
• Detach regularly – Allow yourself some time to disconnect from the demands of work.  Avoid checking email, texts, instant messages at least every once in a while to give yourself a break and to differentiate the important from the urgent.
• Set stronger boundaries – One of the most important things you can do to preserve your health and well-being while minimizing stress and overwhelm is to say “no” to demands placed upon you.  Realize that you don’t need to accept every invitiation, assignment, project, etc. offered to you.
• Ask for help – Rather than suffering in silence, anger or frustration speak up and ask for help. Very often, famiy members, friends, neighbors or co-workers would be thrilled to help if they only knew you needed it. Anticipate whenever possible, so that you have help readily available before you have a meltdown!

Create SUCCESS on your own Terms

Researchers frequently study traits of successful people. I find that it’s important for each individual to first define what success means to him/her. When you know this criterion for yourself, you can track, measure and attain it. Every adult seems to have conflicting demands and multiple priorities these days. Those who endure success despite these ongoing challenges have a few key things in common, they:

• seize opportunities as they present themselves
• avoid regret by making sound decisions in their life and their work
• have positive energy that helps them focus on enjoying the present

When success seems elusive for an individual it is usually due to a mismatch between your core values, needs, goals, beliefs, and strengths—who you are and what you’re trying to achieve.  When who you are and what you are doing are not aligned, it creates undue stress, frustration, worry and overwhelm.  Also, when you rely too heavily on one or two strengths rather than leveraging a variety of your strengths, you’re less likely to achieve your highest levels of success.

In the 2002 study by Harvard Business School professor Howard Stevenson and his senior research fellow, Laura Nash, they discovered that success that endures stems from four key sources that may seem contradictory but yet are all necessary: achievement, happiness, significance, and a legacy.

Achievement: Do you measure accomplishments against an external goal? Power, wealth, recognition, competition against others.

Happiness: Is there contentment or pleasure with and about your life?

Significance: Do you have a valued impact on others whom you choose?

Legacy: Have you infused your values and your accomplishments into the lives of others to leave something behind?

These four satisfactions are very different from each other, he said. To learn more about Dr. Stevenson’s findings and how they apply to you, click here.

Adapt

While in Atlantic City, NJ with my daughter’s dance team this past week, our hotel and several other places in the area suffered from mechanical problems that effected the air conditioning. We were on the 26th floor with no air conditioning. Our room must have been over 90 degrees. It was awful!

The air died Wednesday night in the middle of the night. We woke up sweating profusely. After cold showers and an elevator ride downstairs to the lobby, we learned about the problem. However, the girls needed to be dressed with their makeup on ready for pictures and performances, so we adapted. Unfortunately, the hall where they were having the competition didn’t have air either. There was a nice breeze outside on the boardwalk coming off the ocean though.

The producers of the competition, STARBOUND, moved the final showcase to another hotel that had air conditioning. They had a fundraising banquet at yet a different hotel. They adapted to the situation and focused on helping the kids perform at their best while keeping the parents comfortable.

Yes, we were all hot and uncomfortable all day Thursday. It got so bad that our hotel closed on Friday and wasn’t planning on re-opening until Sunday. We checked out by noon on Friday and decided to drive home late Friday night after the final showcase. Again, we adapted! We negotiated with the hotel manager and the hotel comp’d us for both nights we stayed (not paying for our room, did make it somewhat better for what we endured!)

The dance team performed at their best. We won 1st place in large production, 2nd place in Junior groups and had several other noteworthy accomplishments with our soloists, duets and Senior groups. (I lost track of all the awards!!)  Although the girls got less sleep and had to tolerate no air on Thursday, they adapted, and did what they had to do. They brought so much energy, enthusiasm and passion to their performance!

My sincere congratulations goes out to all the dancers, the teachers, parents and our owner (Tom). They rocked the stage and we’re all very proud of their accomplishments in Atlantic City!

How many times in your life have you adapted? How has flexibility helped you? How were you able to negotiate so that you made the best out of a situation and felt better about the final outcome?

 How can you turn a negative experience around and make in positive?

Dissatisfied at work?

Everyone seems stressed out these days!  Now that the economy appears to be coming back, employers are becoming increasingly concerned about retaining their talented workforce. Those that survived downsizings, pay reductions, increased workloads, and other cutbacks may be leaving in droves once things settle down. Many employees have waited out the down-turn and have been holding out for the right opportunity to leave their current employer. In fact, 28% of workers in a CareerBuilder survey said they expected to switch fields in the next two years, looking for more interesting work, pay, and chances for advancement or stability.

With employee satisfaction at a low, as job creation begins, many will seek other opportunities. There may be a mass exodus!

As some companies take this opportunity to review their workplace culture and how to recognize employee contributions, they are challenged to do it on a budget.  Restoring pay and benefits may prove difficult. Therefore, they’ll have to seek out other ways to keep employees engaged.  Demonstrating respect, acknowledging contributions and keeping an open line of communication are critical at this juncture. Offering low or no cost benefits such as flexibility and telecommuting is also important.  Incentive-laden compensation packages that recognize high levels of productivity or customer satisfaction will incent employees to contribute their best, too.

Employers are now in the engagement era. As the economy improves, companies will continue to look for ways to boost employee satisfaction. Bosses need to step up to keep workers happy on a limited budget! And, employees need to realize that they are not indispensible. With an abundance of discontented employees and the unemployed, employees not performing effectively or exhibiting morale issues, could more easily be replaced.

Do you enjoy your work? Do you have a career strategy?

Working with The Priority Pro as your career coach can help you gain clarity, focus and direction. Imagine knowing your skills and developmental areas; utilizing your transferable skills to help land a new job; enhancing your leadership skills; establishing a career direction in 90 days!  Contact us to discuss your needs and schedule an introductory coaching session. This month it’s just $49.95!!

How Confident are You?

Many ambitious high achieving professionals fear that they are not really as bright and capable as others tend to think they are. As they climb the career ladder they have apprehension and self-doubt.  Although they have accomplishments, they tend to attribute these achievements to luck.  All this weighs heavily on an already full plate.

Seemingly very successful business leaders at every level of the organization, entrepreneurs, rising stars worry that they’re not as great as others think they are. Although they’ve faced every challenge, received recognition and promotions, their customers’ think they’re a super star they fear that they will be found out!

The imposter syndrome can hold you back from pursuing dreams and goals. It prohibits you from feeling pride and a sense of accomplishment. It can cause you to work harder than anyone else to convince yourself that if you were really as smart and capable as everyone else believes, you wouldn’t have to work so hard.  The fear can be paralyzing and terrifying, if you allow it!

Don’t allow it!  Contact The Priority Pro for help stepping into your greatness!  Be as bright and capable as others already believe you are!

Reality Hits the Road

You may have had some sort of training along the way that helped lead you to your success, organizing, time management, goal-setting, right?

This isn’t about the basic time management skills or stress management 101.  Take those principles you’ve learned like, (Covey’s) four quadrants, (Morgenstern’s) categorizing using the A, B, C’s for your task priorities, (Allen’s) integrated system of stress-free productivity and put them to the reality test.

What happens?

Unfortunately, many of these outstanding systems don’t work. Not because they’re not effective systems, but because people don’t fully implement them. Then, they give us and resort to their old ways, sometimes thinking that their situation is hopeless.

For instance, you start your day with a list or framework of what you are going to accomplish. You know what’s most important, you know what decisions need to be made but then, unfortunately, reality hits the road—

…the phone rings endlessly, the system goes down, your boss has a crisis that needs your immediate attention, you have some irate customers, a colleague plants themselves in the corner chair in your office to talk about her personal issues, you get an urgent message from the school that one of your kids has gotten hurt, etc.

The problem isn’t about managing time; it’s about managing all these interruptions. These distract you from accomplishing what you set out to do each day and if you don’t re-prioritize on a dime, ask questions to clarify importance and timeline, focus on what’s most important, delegate, be flexible (to a point), block out distractions, and say “no” when appropriate you may increase your stress, decrease your productivity and feel dissatisfied in what you’re able to accomplish on any given day.

How Confident are YOU?

Many ambitious high achieving professionals fear that they are not really as bright and capable as others tend to think they are. As they climb the career ladder they have apprehension and self-doubt.  Although they have accomplishments, they tend to attribute these achievements to luck.  All this weighs heavily on an already full plate.

Seemingly very successful business leaders at every level of the organization, entrepreneurs, rising stars worry that they’re not as great as others think they are. Although they’ve faced every challenge, received recognition and promotions, their customers’ think they’re a super star they fear that they will be found out!

The imposter syndrome can hold you back from pursuing dreams and goals. It prohibits you from feeling pride and a sense of accomplishment. It can cause you to work harder than anyone else to convince yourself that if you were really as smart and capable as everyone else believes, you wouldn’t have to work so hard.  The fear can be paralyzing and terrifying, if you allow it!

If you’re one of the many, here are some more effective strategies:

• Be aware of the phenomenon.
• Make a list of the situations in which the feelings are likely to strike.
• Take an objective inventory of your accomplishments and skills.
• Stop being such a perfectionist! Allow yourself to make some mistakes and learn from them.
• Keep track of praise and compliments you receive; accept it the external validation!
• Disown your failures and stop blaming yourself for setbacks that are out of your control.
• Talk to others you admire about their worries about their own achievements.
• Set a modest goal for confronting this fear and think up a couple of steps you can take in the next month toward reaching it.
• Break frightening tasks into several parts. If possible, start with the easiest part.
• Separate feelings from reality.
• Gain experience, education, and training.
• Develop relationships with mentors.
• Be selective about the drive to prove yourself.  Do a great job when it matters most. Don’t persevere over routine tasks.
• Ask for and allow help from others
• Recognize that everyone who does something new, takes risks, or stretches outside their comfort zone feels off-base at the beginning
• Stop expecting to know everything

For more information about the Imposter Syndrome, visit:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200907/the-imposter-syndrome

http://www.forbes.com/2010/02/22/imposter-syndrome-professional-fraud-forbes-woman-leadership-psychology.html

http://www.inc.com/marla-tabaka/the-impostor-syndrome-when-fear-blocks-success.html

To take the quiz to see if you’re suffering from the Imposter Syndrome, click here:  http://impostorsyndrome.com/quiz.htm

Flip your BUT

Most of us encounter obstacles on the road to achieving our goals.  Through several experiences of working with my coaching clients and continuous learning opportunities, I have learned to turn these obstacles into stepping stones. If you’d like to learn how to turn problems and challenges into progress too, read on!

The first and probably most important point is that examining the problem in-depth rarely works because instead of focusing on solutions, you’re caught analyzing or dissecting the problem. Once you clearly identify the problem, increase your ability to make wise decisions by flipping over that obstacle to see what opportunities are available beyond it. If you remain caught up in looking at the problem, it will expand in your reality and you won’t be able to reach your goals. You’ll become either a victim who complains about the problem but doesn’t take any concrete steps to change the situation, or a quitter who gives up on the original goal and chooses a different path to pursue.

So, as you come across obstacles along the path to your goals, reflect on the hidden meaning of what it may be trying to tell you.  Often, hidden within the pain of your problem are the seeds of what you really want. Clearly define what you’re hoping to achieve; redefine your goal. Be aware of the “buts” and flip them into “ands”.

Several years ago I had the fortuitous experience to work with some masterful coaches at a coach training school. I learned the technique of “flipping” my but and I’ve used it successfully myself, with audiences and with individual coaching clients. For example, if your goal is to get a new car BUT you can’t afford it, and you flip the “but” to an “AND” you’d be saying something like, “I want a new care AND I want to be able to easily afford the payments”.  The sentence started with your goal to get a new car but ended abruptly at the BUT. It’s set up a conflict that cannot be resolved as long as the two things are seen as mutually exclusive.

Here’s another example…”I want to make more money, BUT I don’t want to work 60-80 hours a week”.  If you flip the second half of this statement and combine it with the goal in the first part, you’ll end up with a powerful new goal such as, “I want to make more money AND work just 40 hours a week”.  When you do this, you stop negating your goals, and start creating exactly what you want.

Do this exercise with one of your current goals. Fill in the blanks as indicated:

I want _____________________________________  BUT _______________________.

(your goal)                                                              (the obstacle)

Then, turn the “but” into an “and” below:

I want ______________________________________ AND ______________________.

(your goal)                                                                 (your goal)

Once you’ve stated your new more powerful goal, start asking yourself questions like, “How can I get a great new car with payments I can afford?” or “How can I increase my salary while working while working less and earning more?”  Keep asking these questions and other empowering questions so that you can engage both your conscious and your subconscious minds working towards finding solutions for you. This simple process of flipping the but works similarly when you have conflicting priorities. For example, “I want to attend the professional association meeting this evening but I promised my son that I’d attend his track meet”.  When flipping the “but” to an “and”, I searched for an alternative or a solution that would allow me to do both and as a result I planned on dialing into the meeting and listening to the speaker while I watched my son run track.

Often when clients get this far in the process of achieving their goals, they let fear immobilize them. However, now that you’ve developed some empowering questions to move you toward your goal, the key is to get into action. Action is the perfect antidote for fear. As you take steps towards your goal, you can keep using this process as the evil “BUT” monster shows up. The fear of change, even positive change, can keep you stuck or push you back into victim or quitter mode. Feeling like you are stuck, or have no alternatives, dis-empowers you to achieve your goals.

Determine your goal and what’s stopping you so that you can flip that “BUT” to an “AND” and move yourself through empowering questions into deliberate action toward achieving your goals. If you feel you can’t do it alone, contact me at  natalie@theprioritypro.com or call 908-281-7098 and I’ll be happy to explore how working with me as your coach can help you achieve your desired goals. With over a decade of experience and tangible results, let me help you attain your goals!

8 Days a Week…

As I was walking the dog yesterday in the cold rain, one of my old favorite songs came on my headset, “8 Days a Week”.  As I reflected on the lyrics, I thought about preseverence, dedication and commitment.

Although Paul McCartney attributed the inspiration of this song to two different sources, Ringo Starr and later his chaufer, the song and it’s title recognized the feeling of overwork.

So, I began wondering even further. I wonder how many people ever really experienced unwavering dedication, commitment, persistence, or perseverence “8 days a week”. I wonder what it looks like when someone is at that 110%? I wonder if it’s healthy? I wonder if it’s something to strive for?

Then, I refocus on walking the dog and think, gee, “I’m walking the dog ’8 days a week’!” Through rain, snow, frigid temperatures and the heat of summer, I get out there at least once a day and walk my dog for at least 20 minutes, usually more. If I were to bring this same level of dedication to other tasks, other goals, even my clients, what would be different?!?!

I arrived home with a renewed sense of energy. Please share your comments on this post, especially, what you are committed to ’8 days a week’ and read more at my blog post at MyPath, too.

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