Boundary-Setting

Any woman reading this knows the difficulty we have in setting boundaries that honor us because we have been conditioned to take care of and nurture others so well. We do this quite naturally and usually with great pleasure. The problems arise when you feel resentful, angry, or frustrated about what you’re doing for others or what others are doing to you or around you.

Boundaries are imaginary lines that help you protect yourself both physically and emotionally. They keep other’s actions and behaviors from hurting, distracting, annoying, or imposing on you. External boundaries are limits you set on how others can treat you or behave around you. Internal boundaries involve your own thoughts and beliefs and the messages you send to yourself.

People treat you as you allow them to; however, you can actually teach others how to treat you based on how strong or weak your boundaries are. Having strong boundaries are important for protecting your body, mind, and spirit. Setting boundaries can make an enormous impact on the quality of your life. It is a major step in taking control of your life and vital for taking responsibility for your self and your life. It is the one skill that you most need to develop in order to create the kind of life you really want. However, it is often the area where most people seem to have the most difficulties.

Setting strong boundaries will help you stand up for yourself, stop agreeing to do things you really don’t want to do, and start feeling less guilty about putting your own needs first. It is a part of the process of defining yourself and what is acceptable to you. When you don’t have boundaries set other people will step over the line without even realizing where it is.

Boundary setting is not about getting other people to change (even though at first, it may seem that way). It is really about deciding what you will and won’t tolerate any longer in your life, and then communicating this firmly and consistently whenever you need to. Boundaries are essential to becoming a healthy adult and balancing your work and personal life effectively. They demonstrate your commitment to self-respect.

I have provided a number of presentations to women’s groups, organizations and associations about this topic. I have coached individual women and even a couple of men to help them gain awareness of where their boundaries were weak or existenttant and how to set and communicate boundaries. In groups of mothers, small business owners, and managers we’ve worked together and practiced boundary-setting.

It’s very powerful to you and people around you when you institute your boundaries and stand up for yourself. It feels great to get the respect you deserve! Feel free to contact me for a complimentary coaching session so that I can help you set or enforce a boundary to help you honor yourself more.

Good luck!

Warmly,

Coach Natalie

P.S. Forgot to mention my new workbook that has a number of exercises that take you through the 7 key principles for creating more joy, balance and success in your work, family and personal life. It’s not on my website yet, but it is available by special order. It retails for $19.95 plus shipping, handling ($4.50) and tax (1.20) for a total of $25.65. To order: send an email to natalie@superbusyparent.com with your name, mailing address, phone number and number requested.