The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom


Also found this article at the Glass Hammer site in the Work/Life Balance area. The tips are interesting and insightful so I thought that New and Expectant Moms visiting my Blog might also enjoy the content.

Here’s the link:

The Tension of the High Achieving New Mom

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Young Mother of the Year

After reading the article and hearing the news about the Hardest working moms, I was a bit disappointed that the measurement was mostly based on earnings. So, when I read news of the Young Mother of the Year Award, I was happy to see that more real mothers are also getting recognized. These moms are 18 or younger…still children themselves yet they’re raising children, often with limited resources and support. Perhaps, they are the true heroes?

I don’t personally encourage young motherhood. It takes a lot of maturity and responsibility to care for oneself, let alone another human being that relies so heavily on you!

However, I do want to acknowledge American Mothers Incorporated for recognizing the challenges faced by mothers trying to balance a career and children. Each year they select a representative from each state as the Young Mother-of-the-Year. This award honors dedicated, outstanding mothers who are still raising their children that are 18 years old or younger.

This year North Dakota‘s Young Mother of the Year is KX News weekend anchor Jen Dame.

Hardest Working Mom

Did you hear the news??
….MADONNA has been named the hardest working mother in showbusiness!!!

She topped a new poll in Forbes Magazine ahead of REESE WITHERSPOON and GWYNETH PALTROW. With take-home of $110 million (£75 million) in 2008, she’s in the forefront of high-earning women with children.

Madonna, who is the mother to adopted 3 year old toddler David Banda, 8 year old Rocco, and twelve year old Lourdes, took most of her money from her world tour as well as record sales and a string of endorsement deals. She and hubby Guy Ritchie divorced in 2008.

Also topping the hardest working mom chart (based on earnings) was divorced mother-of-two Reese Witherspoon who took home $24 million (£16.5 million) in 2008. The actress has two kids, Ava, nine, and son Deacon, five, with ex-husband Ryan Phillippe Paltrow, who also has two children, with husband Chris Martin, came in third with earnings of $20 million (£13.8 million). Mother of three Julia Roberts captured the fourth spot, while actress Sarah Jessica Parker, who has a son with husband Matthew Broderick, rounded out the top five.

If you ask me, hard working moms abound everywhere and it’s certainly not only a measure of what we earn. Many hard working moms earn little or no salary for their efforts.

Working Parents

I visited the Fox Studios in NY earlier today to tape 2 segments for FoxBusiness.com. Although we had an appointment for studio time at 11:15, we were not able to tape until later that afternoon because someone had mis-communicated. (Has anything like this ever happened to you??)

Anyway, I was interviewed about tips for working parents for one segment and how to set better boundaries at work for the other. Anna Gilligan, the host was a pleasure to work with although not personally able understand the issues facing working parents every day, beings she’s not a parent herself. Many of the tips shared in this type of format are general and non-specific because it’s reaching a varied audience. When you read Succeeding as a
Super Busy Parent
you can select the tips that apply to you and incorporate them into your life. Sometimes we get so busy that we forget the practical and sometimes simple things you could be doing to beat this challenge. You can check out the show at http://www.foxbusiness.com/video/index.html?playerId=videolandingpage&streamingFormat=FLASH&referralPlaylistId=5fd543b8ce7fcb5cee5c4eaecd94e0a73b33a327.

If this doesn’t work, go to the FoxBusiness.com site and scroll down to the gold box on the left-hand side that says Fast Track (Download Podcast/ Watch Now). Click Watch now and scroll down to select the March 10 video on Working Parents.

Dream Jobs for Working Moms

A new survey just realeased from Pew Research Center finds that only about 21 percent of working mothers with children under 18 view fulltime work as the best arrangement, down from 32 percent just 10 years ago. Of the working mothers surveyed, a whopping sixty percent, prefer part-time work, up from 48 percent in 1997. And, about the same amount of women, about 19 percent, say they’d prefer to not work at all.

This survey was conducted by telephone this past February and March to a national sample of 2,020 adults with a margin of error of about 3 percentage points for the full sample.

Based on the latest federal figures in the US, 70.5 percent of American women with children under 18 work outside the home–including 60 percent of mothers with children under 3. Three quarters of the working mothers are currently working full-time jobs, although this survey reflects a preference for part-time work.

What’s your schedule look like in your dream job?

Email Coach Natalie at natalie@nrgcoaching.com to share your views.

Sincerely yours,

Coach Natalie Gahrmann

Overwhelmed Super Busy Mom

I received a query today from a new mother who is nursing her 8-month daughter. During her maternity leave she was offered and accepted a promotion which requires more responsibility and travel. She informed her management that travel would be an issue while nursing her baby and they understood. During the summer when she returned to work, they didn’t ask her to travel, but she was asked to travel oversees in September. The trip was postponed to October and then cancelled because some of the key players were not able to attend. She’s also been asked to travel to Mexico and Germany. Her boss has been supportive so far, but she is beginning to feel pressured to travel for her job as an Associate Director.

A trip to Singapore is scheduled for December. The flight is 19 hours and the time difference is 12 hours. The meeting is 5 days long. She will need to leave on a Friday to arrive on a Sunday for a meeting on Monday. She is considering bringing her husband and daughter along, but the thought of having her on the plane for 19 hours, then staying at a hotel, changing her schedule so drastically and her
routine, going to a country she’s never been to is very scary. And, on the other hand, the thought of being separated from her family for nearly 10 days is just as stressful.

She works long hours, normally 7 am-7 pm daily. Working from home is not an option. She has a long commute. Her husband stays home with her daughter but is willing to resume work, if necessary (although he hasn’t found a position at the same pay level). She also has many evening commitments for business dinners that she must attend.

Her sister recommends that she move out of her management role and back to an individual contributor role that is less responsibility. Her sister has also suggested that she change companies and work for a company that is more
work-from-home friendly. Sometimes sisters, friends, and other family members offer good advice but it’s important to make your own choices in your life based on what’s really best for you.

She feels that she’s worked hard for her position. She generally likes the company she works for and feels that they’ve given her many good opportunities during the past 4 years since she started. She is one of the few women in a management role in a traditional male-dominated company. She really wants to be able to provide her daughter with the best of everything (i.e. private school, after school programs, etc) and she also wants to be able to spend more time with her. She wants to work but her career drive is different since she had her baby.

She turned to me for help deciding on whether or not to take the trip to Singapore in December and to explore her options for working. This is a fairly common scenario as many moms have their values shift after we become moms.

I’d love to hear your thoughts…especially if you’ve been in a similar situation. Please email me at natalie@superbusyparent.com.

Thanks!

Yours truly,

Coach Natalie

Mom Makeover

Check out the Mom Squad mom makeovers from Parenting Magazine http://www.parenting.com/parenting/article/0,19840,1154748,00.html

I’ve been the Life Coach for Parenting Magazine’s Mom Squad since it began this series early in 2005. Find out how the team of experts helps moms with real life challenges starting with the March 2005 issue.

The Mom Squad team consists of Billie Causieestko, Fashion Stylist, Sara Johnson, Makeup Artist Ellie Krieger, R.D., Nutritionist, Nikki An-Ledi, Hairstylist, Sharson Monplasir, Fitness Expert, Natalie Gahrmann, Life Coach, Jarnine Sarna-Jones, Organizer.

Secrets from a Super Busy Working Mom (FT Work, PT School)

A client of mine was working full-time as a teacher’s aide after being downsized from her corporate job. She was contemplating returning to school for her teaching certification so that she could eventually have a regular teaching position. As she evaluated this option, there were many pro’s and con’s and other options that arose. After speaking with some teachers, a superintendent, some college admissions counselors, her family, and some close friends and extended family, she decided to pursue returning to school for her teaching certification.

She had a broad understanding of the challenges she’d face as a mom with 2 kids, a husband who works varied shifts, a home to take care of, a volunteer position at her church, and a full-time job. She received support and encouragement in advance from her husband for doing more at home and with the kids to allow for class time, commute time and study time. She also got a few neighbors and friends on-board from the beginning to help out, as needed, when the kids had somewhere to go but she would be at class and her husband would be working. She carved out a new schedule for her personal time that provided time for homework and studying. She re-hired the cleaning person she let go before the holidays. She continues getting her homework and projects done in advance—just in case there’s no time later!

When I asked her to share her strategies that have helped her so far in this transition, she said that compartmentalizing and asking for & accepting help was key. She also mentioned how important it was to allow her husband to do things differently than she does. Hopefully, her experience will motivate you to pursue a goal you’ve been putting off because it is possible! You just need to proactively and flexibly create the environment that works for you.

Find out how other super busy moms manage their life. Check out Blue Suit Mom http://http://www.bluesuitmom.com/career/findingbalance/ to read questions and answers from moms just like you!

Best regards,

Coach Natalie

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