Re-Orient your Life Around Values

I am currently working with a successful entrepreneur on establishing Core Values for his Corporation. In doing so, I am reminded of the importance of recognizing your most important values and living your life each and every day based on these ‘rules’. Whether for your business, or for your life, clearly identifying your core values will help you achieve what’s most meaningful with the highest degree of integrity, pride and satisfaction.

Your life can be deeply enhanced when you intertwine your values into your overall framework for life. Aligning your work and life around your personal values will help you achieve the greatest levels of success. Your values help you establish more congruency in your life and increase your capacity for having an abundance of joy and happiness.

Your values are:

  • what you are naturally inclined or drawn toward;
  • what you are eager to do;
  • what brings you fulfillment;
  • what you do with little effort;
  • your strongest beliefs;
  • your internal motivator;
  • the only sustainable basis for goal-setting;
  • and, your heart and soul

Values are the core of who you are—not who you would like to be or who you think you should be. You are your values—they make up who you are, what you want and how you live. Like you mature, change and grow your values may also change over time. By gaining a better understanding of your values today you can begin incorporating your values into your life and creating a strong foundation which will be able to support you in every other way—including how you bring yourself to your work.

Your values represent your unique and individual essence. When you are engaged in activities aligned with your values, you feel most like yourself—well, connected, excited, glowing and effortless. However, when what you are doing conflicts with what is truly important to you, feelings of unhappiness, dissatisfaction, frustration and stress occur most often because your values are conflicting with your lifestyle and choices.

Values are linked very closely with your integrity. Integrity is when your external behaviors are closely aligned with your inner values; when your actions match your inner belief system, you are operating in integrity and using your values to drive your choices in life.

Your values run deep within you and are often disguised when danger is sensed. Danger in this case is anything that may interfere with or intrude on your values such as: needs, obligations, roles, problems, should’s , tolerations, stress, money, guilt, addictions or adrenaline.

The process of clarifying values is often difficult to do on your own. You can extract your core values based on what is most important to you, your actions, and the things you choose to do and not do in your life. The activities you engage in are usually an observable demonstration of your values; sometimes, though, your values are neglected so it’s harder to identify them. Working with the services of a professional coach, can help you with the process.

For more information, and some tips to help you identify your values, read the ”Live by Your Values” article on my website or contact me to arrange an introductory coaching session. http://www.theprioritypro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/Article-Live-by-your-Values-MBM-7-03.pdf

Create SUCCESS on your own Terms

Researchers frequently study traits of successful people. I find that it’s important for each individual to first define what success means to him/her. When you know this criterion for yourself, you can track, measure and attain it. Every adult seems to have conflicting demands and multiple priorities these days. Those who endure success despite these ongoing challenges have a few key things in common, they:

  • seize opportunities as they present themselves
  • avoid regret by making sound decisions in their life and their work
  • have positive energy that helps them focus on enjoying the present

When success seems elusive for an individual it is usually due to a mismatch between your core values, needs, goals, beliefs, and strengths—who you are and what you’re trying to achieve.  When who you are and what you are doing are not aligned, it creates undue stress, frustration, worry and overwhelm.  Also, when you rely too heavily on one or two strengths rather than leveraging a variety of your strengths, you’re less likely to achieve your highest levels of success.

In the 2002 study by Harvard Business School professor Howard Stevenson and his senior research fellow, Laura Nash, they discovered that success that endures stems from four key sources that may seem contradictory but yet are all necessary: achievement, happiness, significance, and a legacy.

Achievement: Do you measure accomplishments against an external goal? Power, wealth, recognition, competition against others.

Happiness: Is there contentment or pleasure with and about your life?

Significance: Do you have a valued impact on others whom you choose?

Legacy: Have you infused your values and your accomplishments into the lives of others to leave something behind?

These four satisfactions are very different from each other, he said. To learn more about Dr. Stevenson’s findings and how they apply to you, click here.

On HIGH Alert

When we’re in new situations, most of us either consciously or subconsciously go into a high alert status. We’re more aware of our surroundings and cautious to protect ourselves.

As I walked my dog this morning, I chose a different path than ordinarily because I had a little more time and wanted to explore a bit further.  When I noticed a loose totally unsupervised German Shepherd dog just ahead several houses from where I was, I immediately took precaution and ducked down a nearby street before either dog saw each other.

Surprisingly, I found a paved path behind the homes with a nice wooded area to my left. Most of the homes had fenced in yards so this looked like a safe alternative. As I walked down that path, I was startled to see a group of seven white-tailed deer bedded down under a large tree. You’d think they would be on high-alert and run away but instead they watched me and my dog gracefully stroll by. Wow, what a beautiful sight! (Wish I had my cell phone or camera with me!)

I started becoming more alert to my surroundings, both to enjoy nature and to insure our safety. I noticed several other loose dogs, a large man walking towards us (I crossed the street to walk on the other side of the road!), a friend pass by in his car and wave, and I heard an approaching motorcycle and a speeding car coming towards us. It’s amazing how much more alert I was, when I was conscious of this action!

I wonder, how often any of us get so caught up in what we’re doing, go through the motions with routine tasks, or use music or conversations to enhance what we’re doing. What do we miss when we’re not alert to our surroundings?

Especially when you’re in a new situation—a new job, new work/project team, a new route, a networking event—you can raise your awareness and be more observant. Use your eyes to see what’s happening around you (and what’s not!); use your ears to listen to conversations, sounds, and the silence; watch body language and notice the aromas in the air. Use all of your senses to zone in to everything happening around you! Listen and observe at least twice as much as you talk!  Use your senses to monitor the situations around you so that you can more consciously choose the best way to respond.

Adapt

While in Atlantic City, NJ with my daughter’s dance team this past week, our hotel and several other places in the area suffered from mechanical problems that effected the air conditioning. We were on the 26th floor with no air conditioning. Our room must have been over 90 degrees. It was awful!

The air died Wednesday night in the middle of the night. We woke up sweating profusely. After cold showers and an elevator ride downstairs to the lobby, we learned about the problem. However, the girls needed to be dressed with their makeup on ready for pictures and performances, so we adapted. Unfortunately, the hall where they were having the competition didn’t have air either. There was a nice breeze outside on the boardwalk coming off the ocean though.

The producers of the competition, STARBOUND, moved the final showcase to another hotel that had air conditioning. They had a fundraising banquet at yet a different hotel. They adapted to the situation and focused on helping the kids perform at their best while keeping the parents comfortable.

Yes, we were all hot and uncomfortable all day Thursday. It got so bad that our hotel closed on Friday and wasn’t planning on re-opening until Sunday. We checked out by noon on Friday and decided to drive home late Friday night after the final showcase. Again, we adapted! We negotiated with the hotel manager and the hotel comp’d us for both nights we stayed (not paying for our room, did make it somewhat better for what we endured!)

The dance team performed at their best. We won 1st place in large production, 2nd place in Junior groups and had several other noteworthy accomplishments with our soloists, duets and Senior groups. (I lost track of all the awards!!)  Although the girls got less sleep and had to tolerate no air on Thursday, they adapted, and did what they had to do. They brought so much energy, enthusiasm and passion to their performance!

My sincere congratulations goes out to all the dancers, the teachers, parents and our owner (Tom). They rocked the stage and we’re all very proud of their accomplishments in Atlantic City!

How many times in your life have you adapted? How has flexibility helped you? How were you able to negotiate so that you made the best out of a situation and felt better about the final outcome?

 How can you turn a negative experience around and make in positive?

What you put into it is what you get out of it!


Read an inspirational message about my daughter’s cheer squad and how they came from way behind to win the National Championships. Look for the lessons of what you can apply in your own life to be the BEST!

Click here to read more: Welcome to MyPath: Full Plate: Put in What Matters!

I wasn’t going to go to this competition because I was already booked to speak on both Wednesday and Thursday last week when they attended. However, when we thought on the previous Sunday that my daughter broke her fingers at a friend’s house and I had the anxiety ridden week of Doctor’s visits, Radiologist and the Pediatric Orthopedist to find that she had injured them very badly but they weren’t fractured, I began re-thinking my original decision. The doctor would release her to allow her to perform but practice had to be minimized and her fingers needed to remain taped until the competition.

On top of that, the arrangements I made for her to travel with one of the coaches we’ve known for years had to be altered because the coach was traveling earlier and staying later. She was also bringing her entire family and would not be able to have her in their room. My husband encouraged me to go but I felt I couldn’t because I had to honor my commitments to my clients.

I contacted my clients to check their flexibility with the date and was disappointed to learn that there was no flexibility. So, I had to make a quick decision. I had to look inside and ask myself some very important questions. In the end, I chose to go and to honor my commitment to my daughter as one of my key priorities. I quickly booked a flight and ground transportation and arranged to spend the one night I’d be there in one of the rooms booked for the team. I arranged for an alternate presenter from CIGNA to cover my presentation scheduled for one of their clients. Unfortunately, I couldn’t go for the week though because I had to be back Thursday night to present one of my programs I had contracted to deliver. I traveled from NJ to FL for a quick overnight Tuesday-Wednesday. Being there gave me the opportunity of a lifetime to see my daughter and her team become National champions for the first time in the 44 years of the team’s history. What an experience!! I am so glad I went!!

Focusing on what matters most may not always be easy but it’s important to living a quality life with little or no regrets! If you want help creating the life you are meant to live, defining your key priorities, or achieving your goals, let me know – email natalie@theprioritypro.com.

Endure Success despite Multiple Priorities

Researchers frequently study traits of successful people. I find that it’s important for each individual to first define what success means to him/her. When you know this criterion for yourself, you can track, measure and attain it. Every adult seems to have conflicting demands and multiple priorities these days. Those who endure success despite these ongoing challenges have a few key things in common, they:

* avoid regret by making sound decisions in their life and their work
* have positive energy that helps them focus on enjoying the present
* thrive on challenges by seizing opportunities as they present themselves

When success seems elusive for an individual it is usually due to a mismatch between your core values or moral compass and what you are doing. Your needs, integrity, goals, beliefs, and strengths comprise who you are. When you are congruent, you’re able to create higher levels of success; when who you are and what you are doing are not aligned, it creates undue stress, frustration, worry and overwhelm. Also, when you rely too heavily on one or two strengths rather than leveraging a variety of your strengths, you’re less likely to achieve your highest levels of success.

I referred back to a December 2006 issue of Entrepreneur magazine to explore this issue further and found several principles that helped one company beat the odds and endure success.

These are my notes on the Guiding Principles:

1. When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
When you feel stuck and things aren’t working anymore, rethink, analyze, and discover so that you can shift directions before you dig too deep!

2. Take action–you can’t afford to wait for all the facts.Avoid waiting for all the answers before proceeding. Make your best guess decision and go forth to seize opportunities as they present themselves!

3. Get comfortable with ambiguity.
The only thing truly certain in today’s economy is that things will continue to change.

4. Find your brilliance and leverage it relentlessly.
Your strengths uniquely set you apart; know your core strengths and use them to differentiate yourself in the marketplace and stand out!

5. Being all things to all people is the golden rule for failure.
Be a leader by doing what you do best within your niche or target market. Avoid straying from your core of what you do best.

6. Cut the fat. Leave the muscle. Get lean!
Eliminate anything that doesn’t add tremendous value to your customer and your bottom-line. Streamline and reconfigure to optimize your resources.

7. Embrace globalization.Outsource where it makes sense by reinforcing your business strategy.

8. Create a culture of trust.
Timely honest communication helps create trust.

9. Foster a sense of ownership.Engage your team by empowering them and allowing them to have a bit of an entrepreneurial mindset. Have a clear and consistent vision with a message conveying your vision, the supporting initiatives vital action steps.

10. Hire and retain the very best people.An entrepreneur I interviewed said “Hire slow, fire fast” to communicate the need to be selective when hiring your employees to insure you employ smart passionate people who fit your culture.

11. Reward people for a job well done.
In addition to financial rewards, when appropriate, provide timely positive feedback that recognizes contributions.

12. Innovate, innovate, innovate! Look outside the paradigm for new ideas.
Instill creativity and reward thinking outside the box.

13. Choose your customers (or those who influence your customers).
Identify your target market. Also align your vendors and suppliers as the most appropriate to help you serve your customer base.

14. Give customers what they really want.Understand your customer’s needs by frequently doing market research to best understand what they want. Customers buy based on the perceived benefit they will receive from your product/service.

15. Practice perpetual optimism.Manage your moods by instilling a positive sense of hope through your energy as the leader. Being ambiguous and fearful evokes the same in your employees.

16. Never, ever be a victim.Victims have a low level of energy often portrayed with guilt, self-doubt, worry, fear, embarrassment, hopelessness, anxiety, apathy, and lethargy. If you or your employees are stuck in this low level of energy, shift the perspective quickly and begin increasing self-worth. (I’ll say more about this in a future BLOG post because energy leadership is a vital ingredient to your success!)

Secrets of the Happiest and Most Successful

Did you know…a new survey by American Express and Best Life Magazine reported that men increasingly are defining success by their family’s health and happiness, work/life balance, and time they spend having fun. Overall, the survey, conducted by the Harrison Group, found that:

* Only 10 percent of affluent men in America consider themselves both happy and very successful.

* The other 90 percent feel they have reached some levels of success and happiness but are still striving to make gains in their personal lives and careers to reach the same top level of life satisfaction.

* Nearly all of the men (95 percent) believe that to be successful, a man must achieve work/life balance.

* Only one out of four men will take a sick day to enjoy their personal interests.

Best Life Magazine (the fastest-growing men’s magazine in the country and the very first men’s magazine to provide topical and compelling editorial that addresses family, marriage and fatherhood)also outlines the secrets of the 10 percent of men who are extremely happy and super successful. Some characteristics that set them apart: The ability to have fun, having clearly defined goals and navigating change well.

I’m curious…what do you think of these results? Do they ring true for you?