Adjust Priorities
When emergencies or catastophes strike, cars break down, accidents occur, or health issues arise, priorities often shift on a dime. It could take just seconds to temporarily or permanently change your entire life.
As your time and attention changes to more pressing matters, what do you do with whatever is still left on your plate? How do you continue tending to the important when the urgent is so compelling?
Reflecting on the recent tragedies in the world, including the earthquake and Tsunami in Japan, the major flooding, the bus accident on Route 95 in New York and other such events across the globe I wonder how people cope. Although I had no one personally from my family, friends or professional colleagues in the World Trade Center when the tragedy of 9-1-1 occured, we were fixated with the events. Those like me, in the peripheral, went on with our lives and work and continued to focus on other priorities.
However, when it affects you personally, you may be immobilized and fixated on the necessary actions although other priorities continue to exist in your life. Balancing your other needs and those of your loved ones is likely a challenge. For those who have lived through a death of a loved one, accident, sudden emergency, natural disaster big or small….how did you cope? What are some suggestions you have for others who may now be going through similar experiences?
Greeting Card Saga
Years ago when I became a mom for the first time it seemed everyone wanted to hear about the newest addition to our family and see pictures of him (so I thought!!!). So, I began writing and sending an annual holiday newsletter with pictures, letters and photos that evolved over the years to include separate columns for every member of the family (with my kids eventually writing their own with much coaxing!).
Sending out these newsletters was on the top of the list of priorities for a dozen years that I could remember. The planning would begin months in advance. The list of recipients grew to include not only close friends and family but business colleagues, associates and clients. Most people expressed joy in receiving it and looked forward to getting their annual update and greetings from us. Several joked about how I must have had too much free time or that I falesly believed that people really cared about what my kids were doing, how they were doing at school and what my husband and I were doing in our careers and personal lives.
But after carefully crafting the newsletter for over a decade, I finally came to the difficult conclusion that it wasn’t a priority anymore. That year, I reluctantly sent out one of those picture cards of the family. The next year, another photo greeting card. The following year, a store-bought card with a hand-written note and a separate family photo. Then, last year, a card with no photo…just a signature!
This year, I wasn’t even going to send out cards! I reflected on how important cards (and newsletters) were to me over the years and how they lost their importance in the busyness of life. I chose a reactive method of sending out holiday greetings in response to those I received and didn’t send any out in addition.
So, as the saga continues, next year as my eldest finishes high school and my youngest begins, I will again revisit the holiday greeting card ritual to evalutate the importance of the tradition, possible alternatives, and then decide what 2012 brings.
What holiday traditions are most important to you?
Have these holiday traditions held the same level of importance over the years? If not, how have they changed?
What new traditions have you put in place in recent years?
What traditions have you eliminated?
I’d love to hear your thoughts!! Share your thoughts and answers to these questions in the comments section below. And…don’t be checking your mailbox for a holiday greeting card from me this year, unless you sent me one first!
Happy Holidays to all and to all a healthy and successful New Year!
Build Community
This past Sunday I finally made it to another one of my son’s motocross races. With cheerleading every weekend since September, unfortunately I wasn’t able to be there. I regretted this but was happy that my husband was able to take him and support him in his racing endeavors. The one thing I noticed as soon as I got there was the motocross community they’ve created. There were riders at every experience level and age group, as well as parents of the younger riders who have become a supportive force to each other. When riders get hurt, bikes break, parts are needed or someone is hungry, the community comes together somewhat like a family to help each other out.
This week was no different! When I arrived, my husband had one of my son’s dirt bikes apart because the brakes weren’t functioning properly. Another father of a rider was already helping him with parts and advice. When he couldn’t get the bike fixed prior to the start of the race, my son was able to borrow a similar dirt bike from another rider so that he didn’t miss his race. They had met this rider and her father last Wednesday at the practice track for the first time. When she completed her race (two races before my son’s group was lining up at the starting gate) her dad gassed up her bike and wished my son good luck in his race. My son stopped by the race officials’ tower and received permission to ride a borrowed bike in the race.
Following the race, that father came by where we were parked and offered his help. Together, he and my husband figured out the problem with the brakes and were able to get them working in time for the next race. Of course, this meant another visit to the race official’s tower to notify them of the change in bike again. The rule in motocross racing is that you have to race both motos on the same bike you start out on. With the borrowed bike not properly adjusted for his height, weight and ability we took the chance of having someone else protest his change back to his dirt bike and having my son disqualified. Yet no one complained! (He really was much safer riding his own dirt bike!)
As I reflected about the day, I realized how lucky we are to have a strong community around us and how important having a community is.
Look around you at the activities you and your family are involved in including sports, church, professional associations, work and your neighborhood. Actively build communities in all these areas for fun, support, sharing and connecting with other people in your profession, in your neighborhood, people with whom you share a special common goal or interest, (such as in your place of worship or a special hobby), or, people with similar challenges (like other working parents or unemployed professionals). Having community will help provide you with support and help even when you least expect it! Having multiple communities in your life will contribute to making you feel more whole.
Communities come together in times of need to help each other out. Community creates the structure for belonging. Having a supportive community is an integral part of a high quality life.
On HIGH Alert
When we’re in new situations, most of us either consciously or subconsciously go into a high alert status. We’re more aware of our surroundings and cautious to protect ourselves.
As I walked my dog this morning, I chose a different path than ordinarily because I had a little more time and wanted to explore a bit further. When I noticed a loose totally unsupervised German Shepherd dog just ahead several houses from where I was, I immediately took precaution and ducked down a nearby street before either dog saw each other.
Surprisingly, I found a paved path behind the homes with a nice wooded area to my left. Most of the homes had fenced in yards so this looked like a safe alternative. As I walked down that path, I was startled to see a group of seven white-tailed deer bedded down under a large tree. You’d think they would be on high-alert and run away but instead they watched me and my dog gracefully stroll by. Wow, what a beautiful sight! (Wish I had my cell phone or camera with me!)
I started becoming more alert to my surroundings, both to enjoy nature and to insure our safety. I noticed several other loose dogs, a large man walking towards us (I crossed the street to walk on the other side of the road!), a friend pass by in his car and wave, and I heard an approaching motorcycle and a speeding car coming towards us. It’s amazing how much more alert I was, when I was conscious of this action!
I wonder, how often any of us get so caught up in what we’re doing, go through the motions with routine tasks, or use music or conversations to enhance what we’re doing. What do we miss when we’re not alert to our surroundings?
Especially when you’re in a new situation—a new job, new work/project team, a new route, a networking event—you can raise your awareness and be more observant. Use your eyes to see what’s happening around you (and what’s not!); use your ears to listen to conversations, sounds, and the silence; watch body language and notice the aromas in the air. Use all of your senses to zone in to everything happening around you! Listen and observe at least twice as much as you talk! Use your senses to monitor the situations around you so that you can more consciously choose the best way to respond.
Have MORE Fun!
Seems like the busier life gets, the less fun we have and that’s realy too bad!
So, here’s some ways to have more fun each and every day!
Define what’s fun for you: We’re all different and experience what we call fun quite differently! I have fun going to amusement parks, the beach, hanging out with my kids, going shopping (sometimes!), writing, floating in my pool, visiting with friends, going out dancing, connecting with old friends, baking, walking the dog, learning something new, relaxing, taking an exercise class (ZUMBA!!), hiking with a friend, going for a bike ride, working, teaching, coaching and so much more! It’s important that you know what brings you relaxation, lightness, humor so that you can partake in more of these types of activities.
Do work you love: It’s been proven that you can actually have more fun at work. By doing work you love, most people tend to enjoy their work. If you’re working more, enjoying it less and dreading the time you spend at work, you may also want to start exploring your career options. Perhaps, changing your workplace, career choice or your supervisor can help you enjoy your work more. If you do work that is personally and professionally rewarding and fulfilling, you’re much more likely to have fun during the hours your spending doing your work.
Surround yourself with more fun people: If you’re hanging around with a bunch of negative people at work or away from work, consider changing out some of your friends. Positive upbeat people are more fun to be around!
Do fun things: Explore hobbies, sports, and other interests and activities to expand what you do in your free time. Who knows, maybe you’ll have fun hiking, creating scrapbooks, playing music, reading books, joining groups, etc. Open your mind up to the possibility of trying out new things and gaining new experiences. You really don’t know if you’ll like something until you do it! Have some fun adventures as you meet new people and try out new things.
Look for the fun or funny in everything you do: From household chores, to errands, to carpooling, and everything in-between, find something funny or have fun doing it! For example, I love dancing…so, when it’s time to vacuum or dust, you’re likely to find me blasting the music while I cdance through my cleaning. Make a game or a race out of basic activities such as picking up toys or shopping for groceries. This is easier than you think!
Enjoy “me” Time: Cherished time alone is a perfect time to have some uninterrupted time to yourself. Use this time to delight in catching up on something you’ve fallen behind on; connecting with nature; watch a movie or favorite TV show; leaf through your pictures; pamper yourself; reorganize; play with your pet; call an old friend; surf the internet; experiment with a new recipe; or do whatever you love!
Here’s some other resources you can check out:
Top Ways to have fun for Stress Relief: http://stress.about.com/u/ua/readerresponses/have_fun.htm
Have More Fun: http://www.livestrong.com/article/14721-having-fun/#ixzz0yZw3diPi
Adapt
While in Atlantic City, NJ with my daughter’s dance team this past week, our hotel and several other places in the area suffered from mechanical problems that effected the air conditioning. We were on the 26th floor with no air conditioning. Our room must have been over 90 degrees. It was awful!
The air died Wednesday night in the middle of the night. We woke up sweating profusely. After cold showers and an elevator ride downstairs to the lobby, we learned about the problem. However, the girls needed to be dressed with their makeup on ready for pictures and performances, so we adapted. Unfortunately, the hall where they were having the competition didn’t have air either. There was a nice breeze outside on the boardwalk coming off the ocean though.
The producers of the competition, STARBOUND, moved the final showcase to another hotel that had air conditioning. They had a fundraising banquet at yet a different hotel. They adapted to the situation and focused on helping the kids perform at their best while keeping the parents comfortable.
Yes, we were all hot and uncomfortable all day Thursday. It got so bad that our hotel closed on Friday and wasn’t planning on re-opening until Sunday. We checked out by noon on Friday and decided to drive home late Friday night after the final showcase. Again, we adapted! We negotiated with the hotel manager and the hotel comp’d us for both nights we stayed (not paying for our room, did make it somewhat better for what we endured!)
The dance team performed at their best. We won 1st place in large production, 2nd place in Junior groups and had several other noteworthy accomplishments with our soloists, duets and Senior groups. (I lost track of all the awards!!) Although the girls got less sleep and had to tolerate no air on Thursday, they adapted, and did what they had to do. They brought so much energy, enthusiasm and passion to their performance!
My sincere congratulations goes out to all the dancers, the teachers, parents and our owner (Tom). They rocked the stage and we’re all very proud of their accomplishments in Atlantic City!
How many times in your life have you adapted? How has flexibility helped you? How were you able to negotiate so that you made the best out of a situation and felt better about the final outcome?
How can you turn a negative experience around and make in positive?
Happy Summer!
Today is officially the first day of summer. For some, it may have felt that summer started weeks ago when your kids ended their school year or when the days were longer and hotter. With temperatures peaking in the 90’s today and bright sunshine, it will definitely feel like summer here in NJ, although the kids don’t finish their school year until Wednesday!
As each new season comes and goes, many of my clients use it as a time for self-reflection and renewal. They check-in with their goals to see if they are on track. They commit to achieving new goals for the second half of the year.
- Are you on track with your goals?
- What are your priorities this summer?
- How will you be sure to stay focused on achieving what’s most important?
- What obstacles may prevent you from achieving what you what you want to?
- How can you plan on avoiding them?
- What will you do to gain some enjoyment from this more relaxed time of the year?
As a professionally trained and internationally certified coach, I work with business leaders to help insure their personal and professional success. I offer training, keynote presentations, and seminars to support each individual and the organization as a whole to achieve your goals. Contact me to discuss your needs!
Reality Hits the Road
You may have had some sort of training along the way that helped lead you to your success, organizing, time management, goal-setting, right?
This isn’t about the basic time management skills or stress management 101. Take those principles you’ve learned like, (Covey’s) four quadrants, (Morgenstern’s) categorizing using the A, B, C’s for your task priorities, (Allen’s) integrated system of stress-free productivity and put them to the reality test.
What happens?
Unfortunately, many of these outstanding systems don’t work. Not because they’re not effective systems, but because people don’t fully implement them. Then, they give us and resort to their old ways, sometimes thinking that their situation is hopeless.
For instance, you start your day with a list or framework of what you are going to accomplish. You know what’s most important, you know what decisions need to be made but then, unfortunately, reality hits the road—
…the phone rings endlessly, the system goes down, your boss has a crisis that needs your immediate attention, you have some irate customers, a colleague plants themselves in the corner chair in your office to talk about her personal issues, you get an urgent message from the school that one of your kids has gotten hurt, etc.
The problem isn’t about managing time; it’s about managing all these interruptions. These distract you from accomplishing what you set out to do each day and if you don’t re-prioritize on a dime, ask questions to clarify importance and timeline, focus on what’s most important, delegate, be flexible (to a point), block out distractions, and say “no” when appropriate you may increase your stress, decrease your productivity and feel dissatisfied in what you’re able to accomplish on any given day.
Maintain for Best Performance
Ongoing maintenance is key to keeping everything running at peak performance.
I took one of my cars in today for an oil change and some general maintenance work. Have my other car scheduled next week once the four new tires I ordered come in.
This reminded me about the importance of not only tending to our cars, but to other equipment, vehicles and appliances we rely on every day. In order to get a full life from our investments, we must properly care for them!
This is true, too, for our bodies and our families. Wellness visits and quick response to warning signs will help keep you running at tip-top shape. Although in our car, warning lights ignite on the dashboard when something needs our immediate attention, many ignore similar warning signs in their own body. If you’re suddenly feeling tired all the time, coughing, have difficulty breathing, are experiencing aches and pains, or just realize theat something is off, don’t ignore these signs. Similar to the dashboard lights, these are a warning that something needs your attention.
For those responsible for others, whether they be young children or aging parents, the same warning signs are indications of possible illness or other health issues. Pay attention…don’t be too busy to perform regular check-ins and maintenance. You’ll be glad you did because it could save you from long hospital stays, extended bed rest, and a possible financial burden.
Stay Active
I conducted a workshop yesterday about Staying Active for employees of IEEE. It reminded me of the importance to your health, well-being and positive energy.
Physical activity is so important that it has been added to the US Department of Agriculture’s Food Pyramid. Exercise not only helps you lose weight but it’s key to maintaining a healthy weight and minimizing risks of heart disease, controlling cholesterol levels, preventing bone loss, increasing strength and endurance, and supporting and strengthening your immune system.
If you’re one that either hates to exercise or doesn’t seem to have time, select any types of physical activities that you enjoy doing. Try combining activities into what you’re already doing…park your car in the parking lot at the store? Then, park further away and walk briskly (be sure you’re safe!). Work on the 10th floor in your building?….Take the stairs instead of the elevator!
For those who still say they don’t have time, read my article on “Fitting Fitness into Your Too Busy Schedule”.
Overcome those barriers to staying active by setting small reachable goals and brainstorming ways to better manage your time. If you still need help, contact me!! If you exercise regularly, share your tips in the comments section so that others may learn and adapt what works for you!
