Got Guilt?

It’s amazing how quickly we can feel guilty, even for the most meaningless things in our lives. Many of my clients struggle with guilt but its purpose it simply to let us know when we’ve done something wrong, to help us develop a better sense of our behavior and how it affects ourselves and others.  Guilt prompts us to re-examine our behavior so that we don’t end up making the same mistake twice. This article in Treasure Coast Parenting magazine offers 10 tips for busting the guilt. Hope it helps!

http://www.tcparenting.com/0411%20-%20April%20Webzine/index.html 

see page 48-49

Build Community

This past Sunday I finally made it to another one of my son’s motocross races. With cheerleading every weekend since September, unfortunately I wasn’t able to be there. I regretted this but was happy that my husband was able to take him and support him in his racing endeavors. The one thing I noticed as soon as I got there was the motocross community they’ve created. There were riders at every experience level and age group, as well as parents of the younger riders who have become a supportive force to each other. When riders get hurt, bikes break, parts are needed or someone is hungry, the community comes together somewhat like a family to help each other out.

This week was no different!  When I arrived, my husband had one of my son’s dirt bikes apart because the brakes weren’t functioning properly. Another father of a rider was already helping him with parts and advice. When he couldn’t get the bike fixed prior to the start of the race, my son was able to borrow a similar dirt bike from another rider so that he didn’t miss his race. They had met this rider and her father last Wednesday at the practice track for the first time. When she completed her race (two races before my son’s group was lining up at the starting gate) her dad gassed up her bike and wished my son good luck in his race. My son stopped by the race officials’ tower and received permission to ride a borrowed bike in the race.

Following the race, that father came by where we were parked and offered his help. Together, he and my husband figured out the problem with the brakes and were able to get them working in time for the next race. Of course, this meant another visit to the race official’s tower to notify them of the change in bike again. The rule in motocross racing is that you have to race both motos on the same bike you start out on. With the borrowed bike not properly adjusted for his height, weight and ability we took the chance of having someone else protest his change back to his dirt bike and having my son disqualified. Yet no one complained! (He really was much safer riding his own dirt bike!)

As I reflected about the day, I realized how lucky we are to have a strong community around us and how important having a community is. 

Look around you at the activities you and your family are involved in including sports, church, professional associations, work and your neighborhood. Actively build communities in all these areas for fun, support, sharing and connecting with other people in your profession, in your neighborhood, people with whom you share a special common goal or interest, (such as in your place of worship or a special hobby), or, people with similar challenges (like other working parents or unemployed professionals). Having community will help provide you with support and help even when you least expect it! Having multiple communities in your life will contribute to making you feel more whole.

Communities come together in times of need to help each other out. Community creates the structure for belonging.  Having a supportive community is an integral part of a high quality life.

Happy Summer!

Today is officially the first day of summer.  For some, it may have felt that summer started weeks ago when your kids ended their school year or when the days were longer and hotter.  With temperatures peaking in the 90’s today and bright sunshine, it will definitely feel like summer here in NJ, although the kids don’t finish their school year until Wednesday!

As each new season comes and goes, many of my clients use it as a time for self-reflection and renewal. They check-in with their goals to see if they are on track. They commit to achieving new goals for the second half of the year.

•  Are you on track with your goals?
• What are your priorities this summer?
• How will you be sure to stay focused on achieving what’s most important?
• What obstacles may prevent you from achieving what you what you want to?
• How can you plan on avoiding them?
• What will you do to gain some enjoyment from this more relaxed time of the year?

As a professionally trained and internationally certified coach, I work with business leaders to help insure their personal and professional success.  I offer training, keynote presentations, and seminars to support each individual and the organization as a whole to achieve your goals. Contact me to discuss your needs!

How can I carve out some “me” time?

I went back through some expert contributions I’ve made at some other sites and found this still relevant question from a mom who is challenged carving out some time for herself. Every SuperBusy Parent needs to understand the importance of “me” time and of sharing the responsibilities at home so that both partners have some valuable time for themselves. Feel free to add your comments at www.momtourage.com.

How can I carve out some me-time?

Shared via AddThis

Also, read our latest e-newsletter for tips about getting solo time.

Self-Discovery Questions

Yesterday in my e-newsletter and Blog I provided some practical principles and strategies for self renewal. Here are some questions to help you get started. Working with a professional coach will also help you create the structure and accountability to transform yourself and align with your top priorities. Contact Coach Natalie to discuss how coaching can help you.

Time for Yourself

In order to have uninterrupted time for yourself, you need to first believe that you deserve it and are capable of having it. In super busy lives, in order for time for yourself to occur, it must become a commitment that’s a priority in your life.

Uninterrupted time for yourself is of utmost importance to parents because of your vital role and responsibility to nurture your children. Taking care of yourself ultimately enables you to best care for your family and your work. It is important to nurture yourself regularly without feeling guilty.

One of the biggest obstacles to finding more time for yourself may be your own guilt! Time and making it a priority are the other two challenges that prevent super busy moms and dads to take time for themselves.

To be able to make time for things you want to be doing more of, it is important to know where your time is going and what is most important to you to be spending your time on. Sometimes, what we say is important isn’t exactly where we’re spending our time and energy. Spending time on yourself and on activities you enjoy is critical to keeping your life in balance, your stress level low, and the rest of your family happy. Maintaining inner harmony, peace, and joy will help increase your overall life satisfaction.

You will not be able to take care of everything or everyone else well—or, more important, enjoy your time with them—if you are feeling burnt out or resentful because your needs aren’t being met. Whether it’s reluctance to put yourself first (at least once in a while) or an inability to find the time to do it gets in the way, begin reclaiming your time and precious revitalization.

There are many valuable articles available at my site. Click here to view the Top Ten List for Utilizing Time more Efficiently. By optimizing your time, you can make time for the things that matter, including your self-care.

Warm regards,

Coach Natalie

Stop Helping Others at Your Own Expense

I attended a powerful networking meeting today for business women. We didn’t have an agenda or speaker scheduled for this meeting beings it was the first for this group. There were about 10 of us present. One woman who is the owner of a salon brought up an issue she has about separating herself from the problems that her patrons and employees share with her. She takes on their issues and sometimes dwells on them at her own expense of time and energy . Others’ problems become her problems.

Other women sitting around the table acknowledged the difficulty they too have with wanting to help everyone else and being overly sensitive to everybody else’s issues. What was clear for me is that this appears to be a common challenge for women. However, this isn’t working for her anymore; it’s costing her the price of her own well-being and it’s draining her.

I shared some inspirational words that seemed to make a difference for everyone in the group. I don’t remember what I said exactly though I recall acknowledging this woman for sharing something so personal to a group of women she just met. She took a risk to share her issue. She was vulnerable in that moment. It’s difficult for many of us, including myself, to allow ourselves to be vulnerable because we want people to see us as strong and successful.

By sharing something personal, this woman gained support. Everyone present either shared their own existing issues in this same area or talked about some things they have done to strengthen this area.

Awareness of a behavior or thought that is no longer working for you is always the first step to making any sort of change. Once we discussed how this really didn’t help anyone because it’s so draining, we began to brainstorm ways to create new intentions, boundaries, and strength to help us create healthier support systems. I’ve recognized 3 types of support systems: (1) those that drain us; (2) those that support us where we are; (3) and those that rocket or propel us forward. It’s important to convert the drainers to better relationships or start eliminating them from your life. Life is certainly too busy to surround yourself with people who pull you down or keep you stuck.