If the Job Fits…
If you’ve been unemployed, under-employed or just plain dissatisfied with your job, don’t let the feeling of desparation cloud your judgment or impair you from making a wise career decision.
Pay is by far not the only factor in landing a new position! As the economy begins to recover and companies start hiring, those that feel fortunate to have a new job opportunity may ignore the warning signs that the job doesn’t fit their needs.
Don’t let this be you! Before accepting a new position that seems like a dream job, dig deeper to learn more about the company to help you fully assess the fit. Be sure you understand the job. Know yourself as far as your strengths, interests, needs, etc.
Often, by turning down a job offer, you allow yourself the space for the right position to come along. It’s more difficult to leave a new job once you’ve begun working with the company.
Re-Orient your Life Around Values
I am currently working with a successful entrepreneur on establishing Core Values for his Corporation. In doing so, I am reminded of the importance of recognizing your most important values and living your life each and every day based on these ‘rules’. Whether for your business, or for your life, clearly identifying your core values will help you achieve what’s most meaningful with the highest degree of integrity, pride and satisfaction.
Your life can be deeply enhanced when you intertwine your values into your overall framework for life. Aligning your work and life around your personal values will help you achieve the greatest levels of success. Your values help you establish more congruency in your life and increase your capacity for having an abundance of joy and happiness.
Your values are:
- what you are naturally inclined or drawn toward;
- what you are eager to do;
- what brings you fulfillment;
- what you do with little effort;
- your strongest beliefs;
- your internal motivator;
- the only sustainable basis for goal-setting;
- and, your heart and soul
Values are the core of who you are—not who you would like to be or who you think you should be. You are your values—they make up who you are, what you want and how you live. Like you mature, change and grow your values may also change over time. By gaining a better understanding of your values today you can begin incorporating your values into your life and creating a strong foundation which will be able to support you in every other way—including how you bring yourself to your work.
Your values represent your unique and individual essence. When you are engaged in activities aligned with your values, you feel most like yourself—well, connected, excited, glowing and effortless. However, when what you are doing conflicts with what is truly important to you, feelings of unhappiness, dissatisfaction, frustration and stress occur most often because your values are conflicting with your lifestyle and choices.
Values are linked very closely with your integrity. Integrity is when your external behaviors are closely aligned with your inner values; when your actions match your inner belief system, you are operating in integrity and using your values to drive your choices in life.
Your values run deep within you and are often disguised when danger is sensed. Danger in this case is anything that may interfere with or intrude on your values such as: needs, obligations, roles, problems, should’s , tolerations, stress, money, guilt, addictions or adrenaline.
The process of clarifying values is often difficult to do on your own. You can extract your core values based on what is most important to you, your actions, and the things you choose to do and not do in your life. The activities you engage in are usually an observable demonstration of your values; sometimes, though, your values are neglected so it’s harder to identify them. Working with the services of a professional coach, can help you with the process.
For more information, and some tips to help you identify your values, read the ”Live by Your Values” article on my website or contact me to arrange an introductory coaching session. http://www.theprioritypro.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/Article-Live-by-your-Values-MBM-7-03.pdf
Greeting Card Saga
Years ago when I became a mom for the first time it seemed everyone wanted to hear about the newest addition to our family and see pictures of him (so I thought!!!). So, I began writing and sending an annual holiday newsletter with pictures, letters and photos that evolved over the years to include separate columns for every member of the family (with my kids eventually writing their own with much coaxing!).
Sending out these newsletters was on the top of the list of priorities for a dozen years that I could remember. The planning would begin months in advance. The list of recipients grew to include not only close friends and family but business colleagues, associates and clients. Most people expressed joy in receiving it and looked forward to getting their annual update and greetings from us. Several joked about how I must have had too much free time or that I falesly believed that people really cared about what my kids were doing, how they were doing at school and what my husband and I were doing in our careers and personal lives.
But after carefully crafting the newsletter for over a decade, I finally came to the difficult conclusion that it wasn’t a priority anymore. That year, I reluctantly sent out one of those picture cards of the family. The next year, another photo greeting card. The following year, a store-bought card with a hand-written note and a separate family photo. Then, last year, a card with no photo…just a signature!
This year, I wasn’t even going to send out cards! I reflected on how important cards (and newsletters) were to me over the years and how they lost their importance in the busyness of life. I chose a reactive method of sending out holiday greetings in response to those I received and didn’t send any out in addition.
So, as the saga continues, next year as my eldest finishes high school and my youngest begins, I will again revisit the holiday greeting card ritual to evalutate the importance of the tradition, possible alternatives, and then decide what 2012 brings.
What holiday traditions are most important to you?
Have these holiday traditions held the same level of importance over the years? If not, how have they changed?
What new traditions have you put in place in recent years?
What traditions have you eliminated?
I’d love to hear your thoughts!! Share your thoughts and answers to these questions in the comments section below. And…don’t be checking your mailbox for a holiday greeting card from me this year, unless you sent me one first!
Happy Holidays to all and to all a healthy and successful New Year!
Create SUCCESS on your own Terms
Researchers frequently study traits of successful people. I find that it’s important for each individual to first define what success means to him/her. When you know this criterion for yourself, you can track, measure and attain it. Every adult seems to have conflicting demands and multiple priorities these days. Those who endure success despite these ongoing challenges have a few key things in common, they:
- seize opportunities as they present themselves
- avoid regret by making sound decisions in their life and their work
- have positive energy that helps them focus on enjoying the present
When success seems elusive for an individual it is usually due to a mismatch between your core values, needs, goals, beliefs, and strengths—who you are and what you’re trying to achieve. When who you are and what you are doing are not aligned, it creates undue stress, frustration, worry and overwhelm. Also, when you rely too heavily on one or two strengths rather than leveraging a variety of your strengths, you’re less likely to achieve your highest levels of success.
In the 2002 study by Harvard Business School professor Howard Stevenson and his senior research fellow, Laura Nash, they discovered that success that endures stems from four key sources that may seem contradictory but yet are all necessary: achievement, happiness, significance, and a legacy.
Achievement: Do you measure accomplishments against an external goal? Power, wealth, recognition, competition against others.
Happiness: Is there contentment or pleasure with and about your life?
Significance: Do you have a valued impact on others whom you choose?
Legacy: Have you infused your values and your accomplishments into the lives of others to leave something behind?
These four satisfactions are very different from each other, he said. To learn more about Dr. Stevenson’s findings and how they apply to you, click here.
On HIGH Alert
When we’re in new situations, most of us either consciously or subconsciously go into a high alert status. We’re more aware of our surroundings and cautious to protect ourselves.
As I walked my dog this morning, I chose a different path than ordinarily because I had a little more time and wanted to explore a bit further. When I noticed a loose totally unsupervised German Shepherd dog just ahead several houses from where I was, I immediately took precaution and ducked down a nearby street before either dog saw each other.
Surprisingly, I found a paved path behind the homes with a nice wooded area to my left. Most of the homes had fenced in yards so this looked like a safe alternative. As I walked down that path, I was startled to see a group of seven white-tailed deer bedded down under a large tree. You’d think they would be on high-alert and run away but instead they watched me and my dog gracefully stroll by. Wow, what a beautiful sight! (Wish I had my cell phone or camera with me!)
I started becoming more alert to my surroundings, both to enjoy nature and to insure our safety. I noticed several other loose dogs, a large man walking towards us (I crossed the street to walk on the other side of the road!), a friend pass by in his car and wave, and I heard an approaching motorcycle and a speeding car coming towards us. It’s amazing how much more alert I was, when I was conscious of this action!
I wonder, how often any of us get so caught up in what we’re doing, go through the motions with routine tasks, or use music or conversations to enhance what we’re doing. What do we miss when we’re not alert to our surroundings?
Especially when you’re in a new situation—a new job, new work/project team, a new route, a networking event—you can raise your awareness and be more observant. Use your eyes to see what’s happening around you (and what’s not!); use your ears to listen to conversations, sounds, and the silence; watch body language and notice the aromas in the air. Use all of your senses to zone in to everything happening around you! Listen and observe at least twice as much as you talk! Use your senses to monitor the situations around you so that you can more consciously choose the best way to respond.
Dissatisfied at work?
Everyone seems stressed out these days! Now that the economy appears to be coming back, employers are becoming increasingly concerned about retaining their talented workforce. Those that survived downsizings, pay reductions, increased workloads, and other cutbacks may be leaving in droves once things settle down. Many employees have waited out the down-turn and have been holding out for the right opportunity to leave their current employer. In fact, 28% of workers in a CareerBuilder survey said they expected to switch fields in the next two years, looking for more interesting work, pay, and chances for advancement or stability.
With employee satisfaction at a low, as job creation begins, many will seek other opportunities. There may be a mass exodus!
As some companies take this opportunity to review their workplace culture and how to recognize employee contributions, they are challenged to do it on a budget. Restoring pay and benefits may prove difficult. Therefore, they’ll have to seek out other ways to keep employees engaged. Demonstrating respect, acknowledging contributions and keeping an open line of communication are critical at this juncture. Offering low or no cost benefits such as flexibility and telecommuting is also important. Incentive-laden compensation packages that recognize high levels of productivity or customer satisfaction will incent employees to contribute their best, too.
Employers are now in the engagement era. As the economy improves, companies will continue to look for ways to boost employee satisfaction. Bosses need to step up to keep workers happy on a limited budget! And, employees need to realize that they are not indispensible. With an abundance of discontented employees and the unemployed, employees not performing effectively or exhibiting morale issues, could more easily be replaced.
Do you enjoy your work? Do you have a career strategy?
Working with The Priority Pro as your career coach can help you gain clarity, focus and direction. Imagine knowing your skills and developmental areas; utilizing your transferable skills to help land a new job; enhancing your leadership skills; establishing a career direction in 90 days! Contact us to discuss your needs and schedule an introductory coaching session. This month it’s just $49.95!!
Happy Summer!
Today is officially the first day of summer. For some, it may have felt that summer started weeks ago when your kids ended their school year or when the days were longer and hotter. With temperatures peaking in the 90’s today and bright sunshine, it will definitely feel like summer here in NJ, although the kids don’t finish their school year until Wednesday!
As each new season comes and goes, many of my clients use it as a time for self-reflection and renewal. They check-in with their goals to see if they are on track. They commit to achieving new goals for the second half of the year.
- Are you on track with your goals?
- What are your priorities this summer?
- How will you be sure to stay focused on achieving what’s most important?
- What obstacles may prevent you from achieving what you what you want to?
- How can you plan on avoiding them?
- What will you do to gain some enjoyment from this more relaxed time of the year?
As a professionally trained and internationally certified coach, I work with business leaders to help insure their personal and professional success. I offer training, keynote presentations, and seminars to support each individual and the organization as a whole to achieve your goals. Contact me to discuss your needs!
How Confident are YOU?
Many ambitious high achieving professionals fear that they are not really as bright and capable as others tend to think they are. As they climb the career ladder they have apprehension and self-doubt. Although they have accomplishments, they tend to attribute these achievements to luck. All this weighs heavily on an already full plate.
Seemingly very successful business leaders at every level of the organization, entrepreneurs, rising stars worry that they’re not as great as others think they are. Although they’ve faced every challenge, received recognition and promotions, their customers’ think they’re a super star they fear that they will be found out!
The imposter syndrome can hold you back from pursuing dreams and goals. It prohibits you from feeling pride and a sense of accomplishment. It can cause you to work harder than anyone else to convince yourself that if you were really as smart and capable as everyone else believes, you wouldn’t have to work so hard. The fear can be paralyzing and terrifying, if you allow it!
If you’re one of the many, here are some more effective strategies:
- Be aware of the phenomenon.
- Make a list of the situations in which the feelings are likely to strike.
- Take an objective inventory of your accomplishments and skills.
- Stop being such a perfectionist! Allow yourself to make some mistakes and learn from them.
- Keep track of praise and compliments you receive; accept it the external validation!
- Disown your failures and stop blaming yourself for setbacks that are out of your control.
- Talk to others you admire about their worries about their own achievements.
- Set a modest goal for confronting this fear and think up a couple of steps you can take in the next month toward reaching it.
- Break frightening tasks into several parts. If possible, start with the easiest part.
- Separate feelings from reality.
- Gain experience, education, and training.
- Develop relationships with mentors.
- Be selective about the drive to prove yourself. Do a great job when it matters most. Don’t persevere over routine tasks.
- Ask for and allow help from others
- Recognize that everyone who does something new, takes risks, or stretches outside their comfort zone feels off-base at the beginning
- Stop expecting to know everything
For more information about the Imposter Syndrome, visit:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200907/the-imposter-syndrome
http://www.inc.com/marla-tabaka/the-impostor-syndrome-when-fear-blocks-success.html
To take the quiz to see if you’re suffering from the Imposter Syndrome, click here: http://impostorsyndrome.com/quiz.htm
Overcome Guilt
Is guilt getting the best of you???
Guilt…it’s all around us! Wherever I go, I hear someone complaining about “feeling guilty”. For some reason though, this seems to be more widespread with women than with men. Women are guilty for not spending enough time with their children, their girlfriends, their spouse or their extended families, neighbors, and community; their guilty for not providing healthy meals; their guilty for how they look, what they eat, what they do or don’t do; they’re guilty for not exercising; they’re guilty for spending too much; and so much more!
What are we doing to ourselves??
Why are we trying to be everything to everyone…setting unrealistic expectations…and then beating ourselves up for not meeting these standards?
Interestingly, in an article in the June/July issue of Working Mother magazine, they reveal results of a poll they conducted. They found that 57% of respondents feel guilty every day, while 31% feel guilty at least once a week. That’s a lot of guilt!
I used to carry a lot of guilt with me. Fortunately, throughout the years of working with others to help them be more focused and aligned with their top priorities, making a lot of my own mistakes, and maturing enough to be confident about who I am, I’ve been able to make more conscious decisions and feel less guilty. I’ve also learned more healthy strategies such as working out, keeping things in perspective, and simply getting over it. Sometimes, journaling, talking with my coach or a friend I can confide in will also help me through those negative feelings.
If you get caught up in the negative cycle of thoughts commonly associated with guilt, it can be very destructive.
So, I’m really curious, how do you cope with guilt? What causes you guilt? And, to help all of us realize that we’re not alone, what’s your guilt confession? (Tell me yours…and I’ll tell you mine!)
Please comment below! And, if you want to learn more techniques for handling your guilt, visit my site for a free article about the Top Guilt Busters or contact me at natalie@theprioritypro.com to arrange an introductory coaching session. I’ll also be blogging about guilt
8 Days a Week…
As I was walking the dog yesterday in the cold rain, one of my old favorite songs came on my headset, “8 Days a Week”. As I reflected on the lyrics, I thought about preseverence, dedication and commitment.
Although Paul McCartney attributed the inspiration of this song to two different sources, Ringo Starr and later his chaufer, the song and it’s title recognized the feeling of overwork.
So, I began wondering even further. I wonder how many people ever really experienced unwavering dedication, commitment, persistence, or perseverence “8 days a week”. I wonder what it looks like when someone is at that 110%? I wonder if it’s healthy? I wonder if it’s something to strive for?
Then, I refocus on walking the dog and think, gee, “I’m walking the dog ’8 days a week’!” Through rain, snow, frigid temperatures and the heat of summer, I get out there at least once a day and walk my dog for at least 20 minutes, usually more. If I were to bring this same level of dedication to other tasks, other goals, even my clients, what would be different?!?!
I arrived home with a renewed sense of energy. Please share your comments on this post, especially, what you are committed to ’8 days a week’ and read more at my blog post at MyPath, too.
