Overscheduled Kids leads to Over-Stressed Families
Teachers handed out an article last week at back-to-school night without identifying where the story came from. However, the article, “Kids call for a Time Out” stated the problems over scheduled families face and gave a tried and true solution…”Just say no”.
My children are involved in activities. Early on, my husband and I set limits on how many and how much they can be involved with at any one time with the caveat the school always comes first and any drop in grades will result in changes in their extra-curricular schedule. Admittedly, there have been times along the years that we had the same conflicts in scheduling, transportation and other conflicts that other families also face. However, my children have learned to make choices!
My 11 year old daughter was a competitive gymnast up until last year. She took up dancing to help enhance her gymnastics presentation and skills. Ultimately, she liked dancing so much that she’s elected to drop from the gymnastics team and devote more time to dancing. She originally wanted to take 5 nights of classes but in re-thinking opted for 4 nights, with usually just 1 class a night. We are involved in carpools and the dance school is conveniently located about a mile from our home. Next year, she’d like to try out for cheerleading. She wanted to try out last year but due to an already pressed schedule, chose not to.
My son is also involved in extra-curricular. During the spring he participates in a non-travel baseball team and in the fall/winter he is in a youth basketball league. We chose these because his main interest is motocross, which is usually a weekend activity. He, too, has learned to make choices based on his primary interests. The basic rule of thumb is up to 2 activities at any one time if they don’t conflict. Prior to registering, we ask allot of questions about the schedule and commitment.
A growing number of parents are avoiding over-scheduling their kids because they think the hyper-scheduling has gone too far. Now a Minnesota group has set up a website www.FamilyLife1st.org to help parents curb their children’s‘ crazy schedules. This group receives new inquiries daily as an increasing number of parents are ready to refocus their lives and the lives of their children.
How about your children…are they over-scheduled?
Conquer Challenges of Work & Family
As life continues to speed up around you and technology provides opportunities for you to do more, many people feel further away from living a balanced life. One of the central concerns of all working professionals is to live a balanced life. Your life, however, is fluid and in constant motion, therefore the challenges you face are continually shifting and evolving. You must find the formula that works for you and avoid the should’s, could’s, and have to’s because they reflect someone else’s standards rather than your own.
You must learn to look, not for a solution, but for a process, a way of addressing your challenges and issues that you can use over and over as each issue arises. Just as you weigh the pro’s and con’s of each course of action at work, you set goals and objectives, you organize your work, you delegate, and, you communicate, you must learn to bring this level of concentration, focus and discipline to your life at home. Interestingly, the same skills that contribute to your success on the job and make you a valued, productive employee, are the skills you also need to manage your home life and to achieve a healthy balance.
Some of the common challenges facing working professionals today include: time for self, relationships and family; being able to organize at home and work; sticking to priorities; professional development and career growth; societal standards; conflicting demands; and sheer exhaustion. You can combat some of these challenges by:
- keeping a healthy perspective
- rethinking the ‘should’s, ‘could’s, ‘have to’s, ‘ought’s and ‘if only’s in your life
- acknowledging and accepting your reality and current situation
- recognizing your limitations
- having a positive attitude
- aligning your actions and handling of every day tasks and demands with what’s truly most important to you (seek the joy in life and you’ll end up feeling balanced and happy)
- committing to making changes to simplify your life and eliminate habits that no longer serve you.
The stress of balancing work and personal life can make you feel out of control. It can negatively affect your health and self-esteem. Feeling in control increases your ability to cope and feel better about yourself. The end result is that you can be a more productive worker and a more loving parent and partner.
Use driving time
Lately I’ve been attending more meetings, events, conferences and tapings than normal so I’ve been spending more time on the road commuting to and from locations than I usually do. It is a good reminder for me that this time can feel totally wasted or effectively used, depending on how you spend it. You have numerous options how to use your commuting time. Here are a couple of things that come to mind:
- Relax. Do nothing and feel good about it!
- Practice deep breathing.
- Do Kegal exercises (or other exercises or stretches you can safely perform while driving).
- Catch up on phone calls (using a headset or speakerphone, of course!)
- Listen to music—your choice, highly energizing or soft and relaxing.
- Create a to-do list.
- Sing!
- Dictate into a tape recorder.
- Observe nature, people, cars, billboards, etc. Be really present in the moment.
- Change your clothes (not highly recommended! I used to do this on my commute from the office to the college when I was working on my masters).
- Eat (be careful though, some foods adapt better to eating on the go than others!)
- Drink—non-alcoholic, of course!. (I recommend keeping a bottle of water in your car at all times. If it’s there, you’re more likely to drink it)
- Plan your meals.
- Create your shopping list.
- Put on make-up (while the car is stopped at a light or in traffic, of course!)
Spend some quality time with your children (if they’re commuting with you. Children are more likely to talk and share information when you’re not able to look them right in the eye). - Find another route. Explore other roads less traveled.
- Carpool with a friend and really get to know him/her.
Rest your eyes (not while your car is moving but when you are stopped briefly). - Do errands along the way to avoid extra trips out.
- Play a game (even if no one else is in the car with you! I’ve stopped boredom a number of times by noting license plates from other states, counting convertibles, etc.).
- Practice a conversation or speech.
- Listen to an inspirational audio.
- Take an audio class for personal or professional growth.
- Flirt!
- Wave to someone in another car.
- Plan a date.
- Phone home. Find out if anything is needed. Get a feel for everyone else’s mood so that you can adjust yours accordingly.
- Read (only if someone else is driving!)
- Knit (only if someone else is driving!)
- Clip coupons (only if someone else is driving!)
- Just look out the window.
- Have a crisis (not highly recommended! Be sure you have enough gas, oil and other fluids, the right tire pressure, working lights and windshield wipers, etc. Have some extra cash and coins on-hand. Have a snack and drink readily available. Have a first-aid kit, emergency supplies, a map, a working phone, and anything else you can think of on-hand to avoid having a crisis to or from work. Either will totally ruin your day!)
- Unwind from a stressful morning on your commute in. Be thankful that you’re away from the craziness of home!
- Unwind from a stressful day at work. Be thankful to be reuniting with your family after a busy day on-the-job.
With a list this long, I’m sure you’ll find some things to do during your commute, so, consciously choose how you want to use your commuting time. Avoid letting circumstances rule your time. Try out some of the ideas above, create some new one (and share them with me, of course!)
Sleep Deprived??
What an experience!! I met Charles Osgood from CBS Sunday Morning news today when we taped a segment set to air on Sunday March 9th about sleep deprivation. We filmed the segment here in my office and home. They will also interview some sleep experts and a client of mine who certainly lives a very busy life.
The piece centers around the fact that people today are so busy they often fail to take time for adequate sleep. Many of my clients, friends and family survive on too few hours of sleep. This doesn’t normally effect them immediately, but eventually they experience grogginess; may fall asleep driving, at work, or while watching TV at home with their family; find themselves losing patience and becoming less effective in their numerous roles.
If you are one of the millions who don’t get the sleep they need. What are you doing instead? Are you bringing home piles of work, catching up on bills, cleaning the house, surfing the Internet, taking care of a new puppy, or something else? Are these activities really more important than your health and well-being?
Do you have a real sleep disorder, such as sleep apnea, that really needs to be addressed?
Here’s a challenge for you if you frequently get inadequate sleep…
choose 1 night this week to commit to getting a good night’s sleep. On that night, bring no work home, turn off the phone and TV, have someone else take care of the kids or pets, etc. and focus on getting a good night’s sleep.
You can do it! It starts with realizing that your habits are not working for you any longer. Then it takes your conscious effort to change that habit. Start with 1 day, then make it once per week over at least the next month. Once you have a regular pattern, add another day.
Realize there’s always something else you can be doing…but your sleep is of critical importance!
Seize the Day!
In last week’s e-newsletter, Coach Natalie encourages readers to “stop waiting for someday to come to start enjoying your life to the fullest”.
Too often people think the they’ll be happy when “they win the lottery”, “find Mr. Right” “lose 30 pounds”, or “get a promotion”. Unfortunately, this thinking doesn’t allow you to truly enjoy the here and now. Waiting until someday (that may never come) to be happy blocks much of the happiness and joy you could be experiencing in the present. For example, paying off a credit card bill or enjoying time with your girlfriends let’s you more fully enjoy the reality of where you are. Limit spending and enjoy shopping wisely. Enjoy the freedom of not being strapped down.
Shifting your perspective helps you look at your current situation in new ways. Having a positive attitude about what is allows the possibility for more joy. Cherish everything in your day that contributes to your happiness, whether it’s your child’s smile; completing an assignment at work on time; getting to work without traffic; having friends and family who love you.
To receive our FREE e-newsletter, “Success Tips for Super Busy Parents” simply send a blank message to superbusyparent-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Twice monthly you’ll recieve a tip to help create more balance and success in your personal and work life.
Secrets of the Happiest and Most Successful
Did you know…a new survey by American Express and Best Life Magazine reported that men increasingly are defining success by their family’s health and happiness, work/life balance, and time they spend having fun. Overall, the survey, conducted by the Harrison Group, found that:
* Only 10 percent of affluent men in America consider themselves both happy and very successful.
* The other 90 percent feel they have reached some levels of success and happiness but are still striving to make gains in their personal lives and careers to reach the same top level of life satisfaction.
* Nearly all of the men (95 percent) believe that to be successful, a man must achieve work/life balance.
* Only one out of four men will take a sick day to enjoy their personal interests.
Best Life Magazine (the fastest-growing men’s magazine in the country and the very first men’s magazine to provide topical and compelling editorial that addresses family, marriage and fatherhood)also outlines the secrets of the 10 percent of men who are extremely happy and super successful. Some characteristics that set them apart: The ability to have fun, having clearly defined goals and navigating change well.
I’m curious…what do you think of these results? Do they ring true for you?
From Good to Great in 2008
Wow, I can’t believe my last BLOG was posted back in July! I have been super busy myself and focused on other parts of my business and personal life. But now, it’s a new year. I’ve challenged the readers of my e-newsletter to join me in my journey to go from good to great in 2008. I’m raising the bar. I’ve asked readers and clients to share their stories on how they’ve raised the bar in their super busy lives. So, check back here often to read what others are doing and use it to inspire yourself to go from good to great in 2008!
(I like catchey rhymes because it helps me remember things better)
Drop me an email at natalie@nrgcoaching.com with your commitment and actions you’ve taken. Just let me know how you’d like it posted on this BLOG to share with others.
Work? Life? Must we Choose?
Business Week ran an article on June 28, 2007 titled, “WORK? LIFE? MUST WE CHOOSE?”
In essence, this article was about a speech Mike Bloomberg made as he spoke to graduates of City University of the NY College of Staten Island. Mike told these graduates and their familes that…”If you’re the first one in in the morning and the last one to leave at night and you take fewer vacation days and never take a sick day, you will do better than the people who don’t do that. It is very simple.” And he joshingly admitted that the parenting thing wasn’t his bag. He said “I’ve managed to raise two daughters who have turned out very well, thanks to their mother, no thanks to me. …”
In my opinion, this success is geared toward financial gain and more about workaholism than work-life balance. Of course, I’m not earning anywhere near Bloomberg’s earnings, yet I can proudly say that both my husband and I are actively involved in raising our children and doing meaningful work that we mostly enjoy. We live a comfortable life and have a pretty solid marriage.
So, for people like Michael Bloomberg, their strong work ethics combined with innate abilities and passion, are really their idea of success. Even when many of them don’t have to work that hard anymore because they have more money than they and their great- great-grandchildren can spend, they continue working long hours because work gives them an incredible sense of balance and joy.
Bottom line, it’s all about using what you’ve got to leverage the success you define you want. Make choices based on what’s most important to you both today and in your future! Realize that many of the financially successful pay a big price of divorce and lonliness because they lack true meaningful relationships.
That’s my 2 cents worth….do I get change?
Sincerely yours,
Coach Natalie Gahrmann
natalie@nrgcoaching.com
End Sleep Deprivation in your Super Busy Life
Super Busy Parents too often sacrifice sleep due to their busy lifestyle. Over time, this can result in sleep disorders. According to the Institute of Medicine, up to 75% of people with certain sleep disorders go undiagnosed. Many more are misdiagnosed. Fact is, seven out of every ten American women say they frequently experience a sleep problem.
I’ve read that women are more likely than men to experience sleep problems. Why??
Women tend to be the nurturers of their family and have more family responsibilities. Plus biological factors like menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause contribute to the gap between men and women who experience sleep disorders.
Many symptoms may be signs of more serious sleep disorders. If you suspect you may be suffering from a sleep disorder, it is important to seek help from your doctor or a trained specialist. Watch for dizziness, headaches, lethargy, forgetfulness, and other key symptoms.
Dr. Carol Ash, DO, Medical Director of the Sleep for Life center in Hillsborough, NJ is frequently a guest expert on local and national media speaking about good sleep habits. Her sleep tips for someone with a behavioral type of disorder include:
- Maintain a regular bedtime and wake-up time, even on the weekends.
- Establish a restful bedtime routine, like soaking in a hot tub, listening to soothing music or reading a book.
- If you wake up in the middle of the night, don’t watch the clock or toss and turn–try sitting and reading in another room. When you begin to feel sleepy, go back to bed.
- If you have racing thoughts at night, write them down and reflect on them in the morning.
- Avoid eating and exercising up to three hours before bedtime. Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol close to bedtime.
These tips may not be easy to implement in your super busy life. But, if you are committed to making changes and getting more restful sleep, you need to take action and start making changes now!
Pleasant dreams!!
Yours truly,
Coach Natalie Gahrmann
Annual Employee Satisfaction Results Released
The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) released it’s annual survey listing the Top 5 “Very Important” Aspects of Job Satisfaction.
The results….
The Top Five aspects of Job Satisfaction according to the SHRM annual survey were:
-compensation/pay
-benefits
-job security
-flexibility to balance work/life issues
-communication between employees and senior management
How closely do these results mirror your concerns and your place of business??
Best regards,
Coach Natalie Gahrmann
natalie@nrgcoaching.com
