Re-Group when things are Chaotic
Lately I have felt like I’ve had more on my plate than usual. Working on a presentation for an entrepreneurial group, editing my audio book, revising my website, re-branding my company, serving present clients, contacting potential clients, writing my e-newsletter, writing some new articles, taking training for my own professional development and getting certified in a new tool I can administer for my clients, and so much more. Whew! No wonder why I feel so busy!
Several indicators tell me when it is time to re-group. First, I began feeling overwhelmed. Second, I was losing or mis-placing things. Third, I felt this incredible sense of not accomplishing anything. And, fourth, and likely the most important, my family noticed.
My husband recognized that I was always busy going to meetings, on the phone, on the computer but not connecting with him in our usual way. My daughter told me that she thought my work was more important than she was (ouch!) and my son got into some trouble. My exercise fell halfway off the schedule. Fortunately, I was working out 7 days a week doing running or walking for 10-15 miles weekly and a strength training video 2-3 days. Cutting out some of my exercise tended to make me de-energized and I ate more unhealthy foods.
When things start feeling chaotic, they probably are. So, before they get even further out of control. Take a break! Re-group and realign with what is most important to you, to your professional goals, and to your family. Make conscious choices and postpone, defer, delegate or remove some of the activities keeping you busy. Decide if you really need to be as busy as you are because if you’re busy doing the wrong things it really will not drive the results you are after.
Begin working smarter! It is not enough to get things done and check them off your list; you really need to be getting the right things done for that sense of accomplishment and improved results.
Are You Hungry?
Often when I am working with a client 1-1, we work on identifying their needs. Sometimes because of the nature of needs being something we crave deeply, especially when they are not being met, I refer to them as (emotional) hungers.
A number of years ago when I was teaching at the Coach Certification Institute (an organization which unfortunately no longer exists!), we helped others learn about the importance of hungers and the impact they have on our lives. They were referred to as hungers because they are propelled by a very strong instinctual drive; they operate with an almost primitive intensity and compel us to feed them at all costs, even if what we feed them is not the best nourishment for us. For example, a person who has an unmet need for attention, will do almost anything in order to feed that emotional hunger, similarly to when you come home after working all day but not eating a thing and reaching for whatever is handy to immediately meet that need.
Unmet hungers are dangerous because when they are not recognized and nourished appropriately, they can easily direct all of your available energy and attention towards getting the hunger fed, even if you do not realize it is happening! Hungers can totally distract you from the things you value and the life you truly want to lead. When someones actions are not aligned with what they say they want, there is a huge chance that there is an unfed or mis-fed hunger is operating in their life.
It is important to realize that you may need an outside observer to help you identify which hungers drive you. As a professional coach, I have a variety of tools and resources at my disposal to help my clients first identify and then work to resolve existing hungers. Once hungers are identified, the next important step is to find consistent and nourishing ways to feed them. When your hungers are well fed, you are released from their compulsion.
Stay tuned for more about needs and hungers in the weeks ahead in this Blog and in my free weekly e-newsletter. You can subscribe at http://www.nrgcoaching.com/ or by clicking here.
If You’re So Smart, Why Can’t You….
Elizabeth shares a poignant inspiration that helps recognize how other’s fears and your internalized fears stand in the way of your highest goal achievements. I’ve enjoyed helping my coaching clients and audiences live life to their fullest potential by identifying their limited beliefs, identifying their goals, and creating an action plan to take it one step at a time.
Click here to follow the link to Steve’s Blog and scroll down about half way for the video. It’s a little long but definitely worth listening too!
Create Systems to Simplify Overload
- frequently doing things at the last minute;
- wasting time looking for things;
- forgetting how things were previously done;
- ever feeling overwhelmed or disorganized.
Then, creating systems will help you increase your personal and professional success. Systems provide a foundation that helps you have a regular method or order of doing things. This alone can save an incredible about of time and energy!
An example of a system is your bill paying system. I write the due date on the outside of the envelope of each bill as it arrives and then put them in a organizer in sequential order by my kitchen phone. Twice per month, I go through these and process bill payment. To be sure I don’t forget to record bills set-up on an auto-pay cycle, I write them in my checkbook at the beginning of each month. Others use similar systems that are automated but I’ve found this system works well for me! Design and follow a system that works for you for each process you have, especially those that recur monthly.
To ease the burden of losing things, have a place for everything and consistently return items to their rightful place.
To save yourself from forgetting things, write them down. Keep organized lists of the things you want to be sure to remember and easily recall. Getting things out of your mind helps to keep your mind clear. The key here is to be diligent and consistent rather than writing things on scrap papers, back of the napkin, or other quick places to jot things down. If you have a smart phone, you can leave yourself notes here. If not, carrying a small notebook where all of your reminders are placed, might also prove helpful.
The good news is that anything you do on a regular basis can be turned into a system that will save loads of time!! Begin by just writing down the areas where you can systematize. Next, pick one area to start with and then implement more as time allows. You will be amazed at how much more flow and focus you will have in your day.
Make Romance a Priority
Romance, in these superbusy(tm) times may need to be a planned event rather than a spontaneous happening. Either planned or spontaneous, here are some simple romantic ideas for little or no money:
1. Write a love note by email, on the mirror, on the kitchen table, etc.
2. Send a greeting card (email or regular mail).
3. Give a warm embracing hug.
4. Give a passionate affectionate kiss.
5. Meet for lunch.
6. Picnic on your living room floor.
7. Kiss hello, kiss goodbye.
8. Take a bubble bath or shower together.
9. Make focused time for each other.
10. And, talk to each other…communicate regularly!
Self-Discovery Questions
Yesterday in my e-newsletter and Blog I provided some practical principles and strategies for self renewal. Here are some questions to help you get started. Working with a professional coach will also help you create the structure and accountability to transform yourself and align with your top priorities. Contact Coach Natalie to discuss how coaching can help you.
Life Renewal strategies
Today in my bi-weekly e-newsletter I provided 6 tips and some additional resources for helping you renew your life. Here are some additional principles and strategies that may guide you in your quest to effectively transform your life.
1. Live a balanced life while you pursue your transformational goals. Allow time out for other interests and pleasures. Insure your personal foundation is strong and can persevere.
2. Avoid energy draining people who do not support your transformational goals. These people will convey their doubt and lack of support almost every chance they get. They will cause you to doubt yourself. Instead, surround yourself with like-minded people and people who support you wholeheartedly.
3. Investigate other’s successes. Explore how others have done what you’d like to do. Interview 3-5 very successful people who have achieved a similar transformation in their life. Discover how they did it, what was critical for their success and what suggestions they are willing to offer you. List the qualities that contributed to their success. Select a quality you know you need to develop and look for practical ways to develop that quality every day.
4. Practice daily habits that support your transformation. Determine your top priorities and specific actions you need to take. Eliminate distractions that may cause you to get off track. Create mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being practices you can do regularly that support your desired being. For instance, it you say you want to lose weight, eat sensibly and do physical exercise as part of your regular lifestyle. Take some actions every day toward your desired outcome.
5. Detach from the outcome. Although your personal transformation may be important to you, want it but don’t need it. Find other ways to get your needs met. Realize that regardless of the outcome, you will still be in a different place for having gone through the process. There are valuable learning opportunities inherent in the process of transformation. Transformation is a spiritual experience that cannot often be intellectualized. It is a feeling that cannot be forgotten or captured in words but is with you for the rest of your life.
6. Stay in the present. Enjoy your life today and don’t wait for the transformation to finish before you are happy. No one can predict the future, so, delaying your happiness and personal fulfillment to a future state will not be effective. Bring joy and gratitude into each day. If you aren’t happy with where you are today, you’ll need to learn the lessons involved before you will be able to move on. Acknowledge and reward yourself along the path of your transformation. Celebrate who you are becoming.
Stay tuned tomorrow for some empowering self-discovery questions! Come back often for more tips and strategies!
Avoidance Tactics are Really just your own Distractions at Work
I have found that there are certain tasks I really do not enjoy doing. Most of these things are those items I am really not naturally very good at. For example, managing my bookkeeping is something I dread. I usually avoid the electronic files and just cannot seemed to get focused to do them. In my mind, I am just not good at it. So, I avoid it. I really hate doing it!
Avoidance is a distraction in itself. By avoiding doing these tasks we are actually procrastinating! In most cases, procrastination is letting the low-priority tasks get in the way of high-priority ones. For example, it is socializing with colleagues when you know that an important work project is due; watching television rather than doing your household chores; or talking about unimportant things with your partner rather than discussing your relationship concerns or other important issues. In my case, it is more simply ignoring the low priority activities with hopes that they will eventually just go away!
So, in the meantime, my standards have declined. I used to keep an absolutely clean home and well organized office. Instead, I let it slip because I was focusing on my higher level priorities. I also realized that my standards were set too high and were unrealistic. Unfortunately, though the result is that I zap a lot of my energy working in a cluttered space and being dissatisfied about how my house or office looks. One solution is to hire someone else to do it; this is called outsourcing. However, these are things I do not want to outsource because I like to handle them myself and have the family share in the responsibility.
On the other-hand, managing my books and database is something that can be outsourced. I have taken some classes, updated my programs, and had some 1-1 but still feel resistant to doing these tasks. These are the types of activities that are essential for me to do as a business owner.
Delegating and outsourcing are great solutions for those tasks you really don’t want to do! Now it is time for me to follow my own advice and hire (or barter) for these services. Anyone know a good administrative assistant?
Economic Worries are a Major Distraction
As the economy takes a roller coaster ride, concern about losing their job and the declining value of financial investments are distracting many employees. The current economic uncertainty has threatened workforce productivity. Not surprisingly, 81 percent of Americans indicated that they are worried about something related to their jobs, according to the 2008 Workplace Insights survey done by Adecco USA. The areas most highly rated in job-related worries include:
- High gas prices (25 percent)
- Stagnant pay checks (13 percent)
- Work-life balance (12 percent)
- Rising health care costs (9 percent)
- Job market instability (7 percent)
- Opportunities for advancement (6 percent)
- Outsourcing of jobs (4 percent)
- Other worries (5 percent)
These worries affect you potentially at every level of your being. Do not panic and withdraw your funds from your 401K. Do not worry about things that are totally out of your control. Worry, stress and anxieties take a huge toll on your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being and can exacerbate your situation. Unfortunately, when employees are worried and feel anxious, they tend to put in less effort, perform less efficiently and lose focus more often, resulting in more fear and anxiety. These employees may seem distracted, disengaged or distant.
Be aware of your thoughts and worries. Realize that 87 percent of what people worry about never actually occurs. Worrying it and of itself only produces more worry and fear. Instead, spend your energy taking deliberate focused action toward your goals. Surround yourself with positive people. Denying that the fears and worries exist will not remove them. You actually need to allow the fear and worry to engage your brain, body and heart simultaneously and move through it using efficiency, confidence, clarity, and ease.
Realize that worrying and being fearful is actually a choice, as is choosing to release them. You do have control over your worries, fears and anxieties. You can replace the behaviors, habits and patterns that are not serving you with ones that are more productive.
Lazy or bored??
I wonder how many lazy people are in fact bored and might benefit from more work rather than less?
Too often, people are labeled as lazy when they’re caught searching the Internet or gazing out the window. Problem is that without being mentally challenged, they are distracted and bored. This leads to lower productivity and decreased job satisfaction.
There may be extensive consequences to your behavior and it may easily be misconstrued. Many of the reasons people get fired are related to the perception that they are lazy. If you can’t stay motivated about your job and focused on your work, you’re in trouble! Being passionate about your work will bring the greatest levels of success.
Be a big picture thinker and connect the work you are doing to the bottom-line. Rather than getting bogged down in the details of a boring task that feels meaningless connect it to the bigger picture. Keep abreast of your overall goals and realize that your current task is just a small step along the way to accomplishing your bigger goals, whatever they may be. If you’re not busy enough, or the majority of your work feels meaningless, volunteer for other projects and opportunities. Align with the company’s goals and get noticed for doing quality work rather than goofing off.
Limit your time on social networking sites, surfing the Internet, socializing, visiting message boards, and personal phone calls. When you’re bored (or possibly avoiding work you don’t want to do—we’ll talk about this in another BLOG post soon!), you are much more likely to peruse these sites and get absorbed into their content.
Lastly, if you’re still feeling a little bored or even lazy either take a walk to help you re-focus or do a quick breathing exercise. A breathing exercise I use and teach during some of my seminars is to:
- Close your eyes if you can.
- Take a slow deep breath in (at least 5-count) and let if fill your abdomen as much as you can. (You’ll know you’re doing it right when you see your belly rise; your chest should not inflate.)
- Hold for a count of 3-5.
- Exhale to a 5-count through your mouth. (You should feel the breathe blowing out of your mouth)
Be aware of how you spend your time throughout the day. Be careful of the perception you might be giving out to others. Is this what you really want to be communicating?
